39yr old mama wanting to pursue medicine but...

Hi everyone,



I’m new here, been listening to the podcasts for a while now but just signed up on this forum recently. I’m a 39yr old mother of 3 (5, 7, 9), in Canada, and I’m very seriously considering finally (FINALLY!) applying to med school next summer (for a July 2019 start).



Graduated with a bachelor of nursing degree in 2001 and worked as an RN for 13yrs in pediatric oncology, and loved it. I’ve been at home with my children for the past 5yrs but now that my littlest is entering kindergarten I’ve found myself wondering if pursuing medicine is actually a realistic goal. I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was 9. I talked myself out of it in university (I wasn’t smart enough, didn’t have what it takes, etc etc etc). But it’s always been there, in the back of my mind.



My life took a heartbreaking turn 2yrs ago & I was diagnosed with interstitial lung disease with pulmonary fibrosis. I’m stable now & have been for a while. My pulmonologist knows my med school dreams & she fully supports me in this endeavour (at this point, we don’t really know if I have 10yrs left until my disease progresses, or 5, or 40. To which I say, no one really knows how much time they have left, you or I could be hit by a truck tomorrow. And I’ll be darned if I’m just going to sit here & let this disease dictate my life.). I wouldn’t even mention my PF if it weren’t for the fact that being diagnosed with a potentially life threatening lung disease, and having to navigate the medical system as a patient for the past 2yrs, was the catalyst for me in deciding that I could really effect some change as a physician. I think I could truly help my patients.



If you’re still reading this ramble-on, you’re a saint…

I’d need to do a year of some basic sciences & MCAT prep (and it does need to be full-time study or it doesn’t count towards my gpa, which was 3.1 from my nursing degree. Suffice it to say I’d make a much better student now than I was when I was 20). So this next year will be a lot of work & $$ with of course no guarantee that I’d be accepted. I guess my hesitation isn’t so much the next year or two of pre-med work (though, there isn’t any actual “pre-med” or even post-bacc streams at my university where we live, and there’s zero chance we could relocate due to my husband’s job here). Work doesn’t scare me, I know I could do it. My hesitation is around what it will cost my children. I’m afraid of how much less time I will have with them. I’m afraid that I won’t be there when they need me the most (I feel like children need their mothers close by in the teen years maybe even more than in the early years). Of course I know that it will teach them loads about perseverance & strength & determination. But will that be enough to offset not having me around as much? I so badly wish I had a crystal ball so I could see into the future & know if this was the right decision.



For those of you who are further down the path, at what point do you feel like you got your life back a little bit again? Do you feel like the sacrifices it took for you to become a doctor were worth it in the end? And any Canadians up in here?!



Thankful for this space to let it all out,

Lauren

Not further along, but wanted to comment on the kid stuff. You’ve put in the work of a solid foundation in your relationship with your kids, which is the bulk of the effort. With that kind of foundation, as long as you are making sure the quality of your time together is mindful and focused, your relationship with them will continue to be successful. If they feel that you are a safe person to go to when they are struggling, they will let you know when they need some extra attention. It is so much easier to come from a starting place if a strong relationship, and it will be so great for them to see their mom doing hard things to accomplish her goals. Your parenting isn’t just about the direct stuff-- it’s also about your example, and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job on all fronts.

I’m not any further ahead either, just another Momma. (5 kids 15,13,10,7,5) I keep reminding myself that I am not spending any less time with my children than the average working parent. I know that will change, but I also know how important it is to show my kids that education and chasing dreams are important. :smiley: They will be ok. And so will your kids.

@bunchaletters wrote:

I’m not any further ahead either, just another Momma. (5 kids 15,13,10,7,5) I keep reminding myself that I am not spending any less time with my children than the average working parent. I know that will change, but I also know how important it is to show my kids that education and chasing dreams are important. :smiley: They will be ok. And so will your kids.




I will say that I spend more time with my kids during the first 2 years of med school than I did while I was working full-time. Currently in 3rd year and getting to spend a lot of time at home right now (though I expect that to change in the coming months). At my school your schedule is fairly flexible during the 1st 2 years, so you can have as much time at home as you want (within reasonable limits, you still have to study, of course).