Hi Everyone,
I joined this site last year : female, married, 42 yo , physical therapist of many years ,and dreaming of going to med school for many many years. Since all my courses are old ,I have to start from scratch w/ pre-reqs but this is the least of my concerns .
I have a 5 yo son w/ high functioning Autism or maybe Asperger . Yes I do. It makes my heart race when I even say it 
As it is ,it’s very time consuming to raise a child on the spectrum of Autism and on the other hand I am more motivated than ever to go back to school.As if the fight with autism , taught me not to be afraid of anything in life .
But he is my priority and what concerns me most is the high possibility of moving for med school later down the road and its impact on my son . Currently we live in LA and there are a lot of different services here for these kids .I am thinking it would be hard to move any school aged child ,let alone when you have special needs . He is doing fantastic though , he is in a typical preschool and making remarkable progress but he is still different .
I am starting to ask myself if I sat on my dream for too long and now I have to accept the reality of my life and move on . It just breaks my heart not to pursue this path but when you have a child with Autism related disorders you get used to your heart being broken !!!
Sorry for the long post .I couldn’t help but sharing my thoughts and story with you amazing and wise people.
I would appreciate any insight . And you will not disappoint me by being honest with me . Thank you all in advance for reading or responding .
Hi Ace
I can’t really speak to your situation but I know that we have several members here with a few kids. For instance Gabelerman, now a resident, has 4 daughters. I understand that your kid might require more time, but all in all, I believe that all parents are swamped anyway. I have two kids, and they take 100% of my free time while they are awake.
Again, I don’t mean to minimize your issues, I have two kids now. Even if I had one or three, the fact would remain that my life is as busy as it can get and while I do understand that things might be different for you, I am almost sure that whether your kid is different or not, at the end of the day, you would be very busy, and I doubt you would have much more time that now.
So to summarize, I do think that you can do it. A kid is a kid. Gabe has 4 and is doing very well. I do not see why you can’t give it a try.
What does your soulmate say about this. If anything, that would be a first concern if he was not on board.
Hi redo- it- all ,
Thank you so much for your response . My husband is very supportive . He always says that he has 2 dreams : 1 - his son get out of autism or improve a lot 2- his wife to pursue her dream.
You are right , raising kids are time consuming no matter what. I was wondering what you guys do when you move your kids: such as schools and so . How do children cope w/ that? Of course every family and child is different.
Being in California and how competitive is here, I have to face the fact that I have to move at some point.And by then my son will be in elementary school. If I could only make peace with that in my head!
I truly appreciate your insight.
Hi ace
I have not been through the moving phase and it is true that it might be a bit scary.
Again, if your husband is onboard and it seems he is fully, I don’t see how you can fail, not matter what.
So I would stop the famous FUD (read about that on the site), and just get started, address problems as they come along one step at a time.
You have everything to do well, a supportive guy, a wonderful kid I am sure, so what else do you need? Of course sacrifices will be made along the way, but how then would you enjoy getting to your goal without suffering?
So, for now, I’d just get started on documentation and lay down a REASONABLE plan (money, time frame, workload etc…) to get it done. Discuss it with your guy and make it happen. Only you can.
Good luck. Keep us up to snuff.
Thanks for your wisdom redo- it- all . I sincerely appreciate the time you spent giving me your thoughts.
Hey there!
As a teacher, I can sympathize with your situation, and maybe offer some suggestions.
First, as I’m sure you are aware, there is no standard student. Every child learns and retains information in their own, unique way. (You can imagine my disdain for ‘standardized testing’ as a result.)
Secondly, children, even with Autism, are almost pre-programmed to adapt to their parents lifestyle. Your children will follow you to the ends of the earth. While it may be a bit more challenging, there is certainly no reason why you should settle for less than what will make you happy.
It sounds as though both you and your son have a great support system and that makes all the difference.
Good luck to you!
Hi Artman,
I read your post and made so much sense. These responses means a world to me. I have been down for too long d/t my son’s dx and it feels as if i am still grieving over it and these words of encouragement means much more than words to me. Thank you for your thoughtfulness Artman.
This was posted on match day about a 41 y/o mom who is graduating from UCSD medical school
Link Match Dat 2012 UCSD Medical School
Gonnif,
This video made me shed tears of joy! Thank you soooo much.
You guys are most supportive people i have come across in life.
we may are supportive but we will kick your ass to keep you going if need be !
Ace,
When I was 36 I was newly divorced and started midwifery school, as a single mom of 3 kids. My program divided the clinical and didactic portions so after I finished the classroom, I had to move for 7 months to do my clinicals in another city. The local high school vice principal (in a city school)advised me not to send my oldest son there, because they had NO college prep classes including algebra. His best friend’s mother offered to let him live with them for 7 months and stay at his current school.
My daughter was in 2nd grade and very shy (she took 6 months to begin talking to anyone in kindergarten). Some days she couldn’t fact going in to the school and I ended up taking her home. Some days she cried in the car but “got it together” enough to go in. I cried a lot too, feeling like I was putting her (and her brother) thru too much. (My middle son seemed to adapt fairly well).
We also moved after I finished school, and again 2 years later when I finished my National Health Service Corps obligation at the clinical site. My son gained in independance and maturity during that first separation. My daughter (now 24) is very strong at meeting and connecting with new people. Her social skills excell and she works as an interior designer and has worked very successfully in retail. She has many close friends. She credits the difficulties of adapting to different schools with her learning how to overcome her shyness and become good at meeting people.
I don’t say that these will always be the results, but I offer the consideration that difficulties and change in a child’s life, when the child is supported, often become triggers for growth.
You can’t know what will happen. What you can do is try to make the best decisions, along with your husband, for your family’s wellbeing, remembering that your own wellbeing is a part of that equation. I’m sure your son’s needs will play a role in where you chose to apply to school and residency.
Best of luck!
Kate
I spent 4 years in college doing behavioral therapy and research with autistic toddlers, so I understand your concerns. The parents I worked with were always so heroic in my mind’s eye. I was continually astounded at what they were willing to do for their kids. Very, very, very special indeed…
But what others are saying is true. All children have unique needs, and every child is going to react a little differently to this journey of school and medicine.
But the great part about being a parent is that no one knows our children like we do. What has worked for my daughter during this pre-med transition won’t be what works for others… and so on.
Your unique knowledge of your son and his needs will put you in exactly the right frame of mind to address those needs as you walk out this journey. You know what sets him off. You know what makes him feel secure and comfortable. You know how he responds to all kinds of different stimuli. You’re his mom… you know him.
If you jump into this adventure, you won’t be doing everything at once. You and your husband will have time to formulate a plan for your son that will ease his anxiety through any transition. You will have time to slowly establish a new routine or introduce new things in the way that he needs them introduced. You’ll both know what to do… looking ahead and saying, “ok, we have x, y, and z coming up–how can we plan for this so it’s easiest on our son?” will be a conversation that will never end in your home…whether you go to med school or not!
You’ve already had to face new things with your son. He wasn’t always in pre-school–but now he is, and it works.
You’ll know what to do. It’s clear that you and your husband are very sensitive to the unique needs of your son–so while you may have to jump through a few more hoops, I don’t see why it should prohibit you from jumping onboard this amazing train!
Best of luck… and welcome!
Kate,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience during this journey with me . You must be a very special woman . It was so encouraging to hear you story. Thank you.
Carrie,
It was priceless to hear from another mother and wife who is taking the same path. For a young woman you sound so wise . Thank you for your insight.
Gonnif,
I guess you got it right. All I need is , to be kicked in where you mentioned in order to wake up ! Thank you for figuring it out in such a short to time 
And when all else fails ace, if you do decide to take this path, there are A LOT of us that are willing to give you advice, tips, tricks, hacks, or lend an ear or eye to help you out.
That’s kind of what this community is here for. In all honesty I almost feel guilty posting sometimes because the level of my adversity in this world is substantially less than many others on here. But with that said, you can use the words and people on here to your advantage to make the moves that you need to make in order to find your own path, no matter which decision you decide to make, we will be rooting for you no matter.
There is a lot of good information either on these boards on in peoples heads that you can pick through, sometimes I think that many on here are tentative because they feel alone and FUD takes over. But we are here!
-Rob
Rob,
thank you so much for your support . I am absolutely speechless by welcoming and encouraging attitude of this community. It feels as if I have found a new family. It can’t be a random accident when you get this level of understanding , kindness and thoughfulrness from people who you don’t know. It has to be part of a bigger plan !
Hi!
I have 2 children with autism, my oldest is now classified as high functioning and my middle child is moderate functioning but making excellent progress. They were both diagnosed before age 2, and to be absolutely honest I put everything on hold for several years to focus on them; school, med school dreams, fixing past financial mistakes, etc. It took over 5 years but they’re doing great and flourishing. Don’t get me wrong, they will always have autism, but now they have an excellent foundation and resources so now they just need a little extra help.
I don’t regret it all, though. Family comes first, IMO. But I am so excited now that I am going to back to school full time and working part time in the evening.
Good luck!