I realize that this is more of a personal topic but I felt the need to post. I received my first B in my post-bacc journey with Physics I. it is my fist out of 7 classes with the other 6 being A’s. the instant after i left that horrible physics final, my girlfriend of 8 yrs (mostly long distance) called to break things off with me. OVER THE PHONE! long story short, I haven’t talked to her since July 3. not that I haven’t tried, but she won’t answer my calls, texts… only time she will respond is if i send flowers or something like that. and it’s just a simple thank you and “I just don’t think I can trust you ever”. she found an old dating site I was on when we were broken up for a year in between. I had recently been on it and should have deleted it but didn’t. and she thought i was looking for other girls. The thing is, I can’t seem to move on or get closure over the phone, email. I need to see her in person to talk about this one last time. show her how committed I am. I would love to propose but do not know if such a bold romantic gesture would go over well given the situation. I feel that she has been looking for that level of committment from me for some time and may just feel like my time is up with her. is there anything I can do? I don’t want to come across as a stalker. she has moved to a new city and I don’t know her address. perfect timing. i just need help… there is no way I can concentrate and study for the mcat until I get this resolved. thank you fellow students.
Hey! so sorry to hear about your troubles.
In regards to the B, that is still great…physics is no easy class.
Re girlfriend, I hate to say it but possible she was just looking for any excuse to break it off and not because of you but because of her. Maybe the long distance wasn’t working, or maybe she couldn’t deal with the fact that she wasn’t the center of your world and was jealous that you were having experiences that didn’t include her.
I do understand about closure and I think breaking up over the phone stinks…you need to push past it. Just think of the wonderful future you are going to have.
Best of Luck!
- Miller J. Said:
Honestly, I had a similar situation with a girl who I had a long distance relationship with for 2 years. I tried to propose, thinking it would fix the issue, but it didn't. If she wanted to break up with you, then that will not correct the problem. In fact, a long distance relationship in most instances is doomed to fail. There are exceptions, however, they are far and few between.
Learn from my mistake...don't let this breakup affect your life or cause you to lose time. Keep going and ignore it until it no longer bothers you.
As someone who has been engaged 3 times, I really feel for you. BUT, You will move on, you will survive, you WILL find someone else (who is wonderful and perfect in the most ridiculously different ways).
She is doing you a HUGE favor by ignoring your attempts. It will only help you both get over it faster.
Start focusing on yourself right now. Join a club or something to meet new people (I joined a dodgeball team… random). Look for new friends (who don’t know her) for a “new you”, not dates. STUDY for your MCAT with that extra time.
IMHO you won’t want her back if you’ve found yourself again, you will probably be a different person without her influence (8 years is a LONG TIME for someone else’s thoughts and opinions to influence you).
If you still want her back 6 months AFTER you start dating again, give her a call (and she’ll probably pick up). Until then, focus on YOU:)
- L.C. Said:
Three?!! And I've often wondered how I'll scrounge up the cash for one ring!
8 years without popping the question? THAT may be the issue.
If she was moving to a new city before the break-up, it’s possible that she was looking for a clean break. So long as you were good to her, my prediction would be that she’d be back in 6 months. Whether you want her back after that much time has passed, well, that’s your call.
If you’re finding it hard to keep your mind off of her, my suggestion is to pick up a self-help CD that uses neuro-linguistic programming (Tony Robbins or Wendi Friesen, for example). What these CDs will do is giving you a cheering section to help spur you towards your goal (the MCAT, I assume).
Beyond that, I’m sure that you’ll find people hear you cheer you on, as well. Send me a PM, if you want to talk more. And study well.