Alright people…actually other parents…
I have to admit that I have not been happy with myself lately. Normally I have a lot of patience with my wife and my daughter, since the birth of my second daughter in November and having to do midnight and ungodly hour feeds, the crying, and the stress of grad school as well as being pre-med and getting MCAT studying in between I have been less than patient with everyone.
The baby is starting to get better with sleeping. She is almost 3 months old and will usually get two feedings a night. One in the evening and she sleeps until midnight and then after this feeding she will be fine until about 5am but I have to get up anyway.
While I am getting more patient, I sometimes lose it. What is the best way to get rid of this extra angst? Since the baby is quiet until midnight, I plan on going to the school gym several times a week, I have to lose about 40 pounds.
Any other thoughts?
Alright people…actually other parents…
That’s a tough one. I certainly feel for you - I have two kids as well, one that didn’t sleep through the night until he was 2.5 yrs old (he’s not yet 3). Somehow the transistion from zero to one was easier then one to two kids! Parenting is wonderful, but exhausting! This week my 6 yr old and 2 yr are both sick. I’m taking care of my toddler all day, and getting the 6 yr soup and popsicles and whatever he needs, then trying to study at night, my husband is out of town and the toddler coughs and cries and pukes all night. I feel your pain on the stress thing!
I think you are headed in the right direction with exercise - it’s a great stress relief. I find a few minutes in another room doing some deep breathing/meditation type exercises really helps. When it gets really crazy here I escape into the shower for 15 minutes and let the steam melt away the stress. B vitamin complexes are good for stress, as is folic acid. There are herbal teas and things out there that are helpful. I was stressing out over my math the other night and my dh brought me a hot cup of “Tension Tamer” tea - it was quite helpful!
Hang in there!
You are doing great! Nobody holds it all together 100% of the time, and small children really do tip the balance. I found adjusting to two children every bit as difficult as becoming a mother in the first place. Number three was a darn sight easier and number four has been a piece of cake.
Getting some workout time is an excellent idea although it can be challenging to carve out the time… I just joined Curves and I love it, especially the fact that I live near one, and the workout only takes 30 min. It is a female only thing though!
Just hang in there and enjoy every minute. My youngest just had his first birthday and I was very sad. He also chose to wean himself on that day. So I am feeling right now that this past year FLEW by. The best advice I ever got when I was up at night and so very very tired was to enjoy that middle of the night time with the baby. Sounds goofy, but I changed my attitude and I subsequently appreciated the time I got with the baby (whichever one it was) alone. No little toddler was demanding something from me, it was just the two of us for that time in the middle of the night. I would pray and sing and gaze at his little face. Enough of that gushy stuff…
Well, I will come to you from the other side of this story. When I had our second baby (after spending 3 months in bed during the pregnancy) my husband was working a very difficult job load. He was in charge of the entire building of Motorola’s newest edition in Austin. He was in charge of millions of $$$ and construction and lots of people and a building deadline from h—l.
However I was suffering also after almost losing my life to this wonderful little baby. She was up every 2 hours without fail, cried a lot and had hypoglycemia. I was physically drained and wanted his help. He wasn’t able to be there like he should have and I have had a hard time forgetting that even 8 years later.
My point is, I realize you have a lot on your plate at the moment, but please keep in mind you are both this baby’s parents meaning you have to equally share all burdens. You don’t want your wife to start resenting the burden you are putting on her with your less than cheering personality and growing resentment of the situation.
It is hard on everyone in your family. Belive me I know. Perhaps I am being unduly rough on you, but I know what you are experiencing and I can only imagine the things that have been said in your house since Novemeber. They are probably the same things said in my house 8 years ago.
Stress relivers - time, it will get better.
Try doing really nice things for your wife, that way she will feel special and may take away some of your burden without getting you involved or saying anything negative to you about your grouchiness.
It is really rough having a family sometimes when we are going through the things we have to do to get to med school. I know!!!
Sorry to have rambled here, and if I stepped over the line, I’m sorry, but I want you to keep in sight that your wife just went through a body changing experience and needs your support, not your less-than patient self.
Sorry to be stepping on your toes when all you have asked here is a solution to dealing with stress, but I thought I was picking up something between the lines and if I am wrong, I am sorry.