Well, this summer has not been the greatest for me. I have been suffering from anxiety since the start of July. I became a hypochondriact and went to two doctors to confirm that I was very healthy.
When I went to see my PCP she listened to everything that I had to say, a recap of what has happened to me since April:
- April: Took the MCAT
- May: New Baby Born, began getting only 4 hours of sleep a night
- May: Began really packing at work to move to our new building
- June: Moved to new building, practically co-ordinated the whole thing myself and had to direct where everything was going. Could not restart my work for 3 weeks.
- June: Received good MCAT score, needed to change grade on transcript. Found out that the dean was on vacation until August and the grade would not be changed until then
- June: Put house on the market to sell: so far no takers. Finances getting tough
- July: Get first Panic Attack
- August: In-laws/support system sell house and go on 8 month trip
- August: Drop price on house, still no takers. Thesis still not finished.
- August: Dean comes back grade changed and sent to AACOMAS
- September: Had enough went to see PCP.
I was unable to get the thoughts that I have cancer out of my head. It does not help that I work in a cancer center as a cancer researcher (time to get out of this field).
In the meantime, my TMJ was flaring since I was clenching my teeth almost all day, I have a knot in my throat that would not go away and I was freaking out.
My doctor assured me that I was healthy (I had a full workup this past June and the only complaint was that I was too heavy). What I was suffering was normal considering all of the stress that I was under for such a short period of time. She gave me a prescription to help take the edge off and I recently started therapy. Since the therapy is a free benefit I have at work, I decided to take advantage of it.
Well, since I have been working on calming down:
- My TMJ has calmed down significantly.
- An ENT checked me out and my throat is fine, the knot was from stress and it has since subsided
- The thoughts are going away
- Panic attacks are getting less and less.
Only problem is that I have not been able to focus on my thesis but I explained to my professor what is going on, she should understand. Good news is that I feel focused again to finish up this week and submit it. Getting two secondaries also helped. I am also getting the therapy to learn coping techniques that I will use not only in the future, but also when I start medical school (hopefully) I will not get back into this slippery slope. If I do not get into medical school, I am getting out of cancer research and probably into teaching.
In through the nose
out through the mouth…