I originally posted this in the wrong place I think. I apologize to the moderator for the mistake. (Bad 1st)!
Anyhow, my name is William and I finally found somewhere that I may belong --or at least can relate to with any sense of comfort. I started back to school last year after a good 12 year haitus to the local tech college here in SC. Since beginning classes again, the sciences in particular, I have felt intensely impassioned about the human machine, and as ever, the souls who drive them. I am finishing a 2 year transferable associates in science and will move on to the University for the last 2 of unkown specifity. I am now 30 and finding myself constantly on the proverbial fence of doubt against dream. I have an inherent aptitude it would seem concerning the machinery of life since ive always been fascinated with machinery in general, and the two have translated to top-class marks in my anatomy classes. I have doubts. I doubt my ability to face the growing immensity that is med school. I have read much here and elsewhere about such doubts but they prod sharply into the side of my growing passion. I have always been good at fixing things I suppose and have great compassion that I think serves me well, but there are dark times of fear and doubt that I imagine we all face. I also have streaks of indifference and I suppose plain laziness that haunt me ever more now in my prospects. I apologize for the gross insult to brevity but I have been burning with these thoughts for some time now and have finally found a people that surely and hopefully understand.
William, you came to the right place!
Many of us, if not all, have our moments of doubt…and, thankfully, of confidence.
(While brevity might be the soul of wit), you’ve expressed yourself well here. Becoming a doctor is a huge undertaking for anyone and it’s appropriate to question one’s abilities, motivations and desires. If you read through some of the forums here you’ll see a lot of “marathon mentality” for this process.
OPMs has more of its members accepted this year than ever before! You’ll find a lot of encouragement here, so jump in.
I’m 43 and will start med school this August. (Previous degrees and career, plus a husband, two children, a dog, cars, and a mortgage). My thoughts and feelings about being accepted? Varies from deep happiness to scared (over the sheer amount of material to be learned) Varies from confident and resilient to “who am I kidding”. But I’ve done well in the premeds and have been accepted. Sounds like you’ve got the aptitude and desire, so good luck and welcome!
Sorry! Not sure how the frown face got on the top of my e-mail.
Not intentional folks!
Hehe, yeah that grimace kinda got me at first. Thanks so much for the welcome-- I can see that Im going to be spending alot of time here with you good people and Im looking forward to it. (puter junkie)! There are so many positives to my situation that serve to stand against the doubts. I am not married, no real debts, no dependants, and perhaps most importantly-- NO life! I made an A on the endocrine system exam the other day and I couldnt be happier. The orchestration of such intricate signalling is no less than artfully harmonic…a thing of precision encased in melody. (Forgive the verse–it feels pretentious yet necessary) Anyway, thanks again for the welcome and I look forward to getting to know people here.
I’m also 30, unmarried, and relatively debt-free. (Just bought a condo–though a very inexpensive one. I felt like I needed something to show for these last 7 years of being in the working world!)
I agree that it’s nice to have the freedom to begin down this road without the added stress of dependents.
I had to laugh about your waxing poetic over the endocrine system, because I’ve felt the same way. I remember learning about the hypothalamus-pituitary-gonad triad in repro bio, and it was awesome. The feedback mechanisms in the reproductive cycle seemed like an underlying harmony in the great symphony of the endocrine system. I remember scribbling notes like mad as the prof talked, and enjoying studying over them immensely for this class. I can’t wait to get back to that!
Don’t think of it as not having a life, think of it as mastering your understanding of the mysteries of the human body…
Hello all. I was sitting here in the tortuous throws of insomnia and I thought I would write. Reading through the experiences and triumphs of so many here is not quite condusive to sleep though. On the contrary, Im finding it exhilerating to be taking the first small steps in identifying myself as a med-school hopeful. I want the time to pass more quickly so that I may be closer to what it is that I feel is my destiny—there must be something more I can do. Thus is the natural way of the fledgling I can only imagine. I know the advice before it comes and yet I am surprised at the restlessness of a once, mostly indifferent lack of aspiration. I have a dream and for the first time I realize that its path is not so far as to be beyond passing–that the only thing that should slow my way be the tired illisions of doubt and limitation. I sense in quiet moments of reflection the immense power we all have within to achieve and to heal–ourselves and others.
Welcome William! You've found a great resource of knowledge and support. I would also like to invite you to the 3rd annual OldPremed conference in Washington D.C. I went last year to Dallas and was gladly surprised when my expectations were easily surpassed. Great speakers! Great topics! More importantly, however, was the opportunity to socialize with others in exactly the same place as me and those who used to be and are now in med school. It made it a reality that this dream can be accomplished and has by many before me. Best wishes to you!