I cannot make this up..true story


NEW YORK — According to Blender magazine (search), “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” and “Dancing on the Ceiling,” may have been catchy tunes and big hits, but they still stink.

The music magazine is publishing its list of the 50 worst songs in its May issue. The songs were selected for “crap-tastic melodies,” were poorly performed, or just didn’t make any sense to the folks at the magazine.
Starship’s “We Built This City,” (search) from 1985 topped the list. “The truly horrible sound of a band taking the corporate dollar while sneering at those who take the corporate dollar,” the magazine said of the tune.
Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart” (search) was second, followed by Wang Chung’s “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.” “If this song was a party, you’d lock yourself in a bathroom and cry,” quipped Blender.
Rounding out the top ten worst songs ever are Huey Lewis and the News with “The Heart of Rock and Roll,” “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” by Bobby McFerrin, Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time,” “American Life,” by Madonna and “Ebony and Ivory,” the duet by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney.
The post-Sept. 11 anthem “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue,” by Toby Keith was Number 22. The magazine says Keith’s song was "so vengeful, it makes ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ sound like ‘Give Peace a Chance.’"
Even The Beatles made the list with “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da,” which the magazine said sounded like “the desperately chirpy songs Cockneys used to sing to keep their spirits up while the Luftwaffe rained death on them during the Blitz.”

America is truly a blessed country if people have time to write tripe like this (and people like me have time to read it). Who the heck cares what some NY losers think about music? You either like it or not, and self-appointed arbiters of good musical taste ought to get a life and a real job.

Have you HEARD that song by Starship? It’s ghastly! It was played so often on the radio in the mid 80’s that it’s forever burned into my head, much to my dismay. That band deserves to be put on trial and/or served with a class-action lawsuit if you ask me. As do Kenny G, Rick Astley, and several others of that time.
There are a couple Phil Collins songs I’d like to add to that list.
By the way, what would you say about self appointed arbiters of real vs. not-real jobs? Sorry, I thought it was funny, and I’m glad someone wrote it.

Many years ago Dave Barry had a “bad song” contest in which people could nominate their worst songs of all time. What he wrote about the contest results was sooooooo funny. He personally nominated pretty much anything by Neil Diamond (and got the undying wrath of ND fans, how many can there be? they must be extremely virulent). See, a lot of y’all aren’t old enough to remember some of the really bad old stuff. “Havin’ My Baby” by Neil Sedaka. 'nuff said.





The ONE good thing to say about “Achy Breaky Heart” is that it inspired a terrific Weird Al Yankovic parody. (“Don’t sing that song, that achy breaky song…”) Oh, wait, there’s one other good thing but it’s a joke I’m not going to tell here. … unless begged





(there was one song nominated in Barry’s contest that I totally disagreed with, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” which a reader described as “a real fun party song.” Well, okay, the lyrics are kind of a bummer but it’s a great tune.)





I find lists like this immensely amusing, totally harmless, and perfect for my current state of… vacation! yee-ha!

Call me overly loyal, but I think we ought to spot the Beatles at least one song. That damn Starship song really was the hight of corporate sell out music…bad and tremendously overplayed. Yuck.
I’d like to add anything by Kenny G to the list but I’d probably fall asleep before I could.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve been to a Neil Diamond concert (and actually liked it!)
One last thing, Mary…please, oh pretty please, tell us the joke!
Take care,
Jeff

Quote:

One last thing, Mary…please, oh pretty please, tell us the joke!


I’m easy - that’s enough begging for me. (although I DID hesitate to listen to a man who enjoyed a Neil Diamond concert!!!)
What do you get if you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?

(ready?)

an itchy twitchy twat

I’m with you Mary. My all time most hated song is definitely “Havin’ My Baby” by Neil Sedaka. You aren’t the only one around who remembers it.
Jill

Touche’. But, I actually am a professional arbiter of real vs. non-real jobs!

How about “The Macarana” as the worst song of all.

Dave Barry! He’s got to be practically the funniest guy in America. I’m not one to listen to audio books, but when I go on long car drives, the one thing I MUST have with me is a set of Dave Barry tapes.
His American History is hilarious.
Ok, along with Neil Diamond, let me nominate Barry Manilow for a horrible musician award. Did anyone see the episode of Will & Grace where they had the “Fanilows,” a bunch of people waiting in line to buy Barry Manilow concert tickets? Apparently Barry’s fans are also rather crazed.