So, over the past 2.5 months my family has endured just a ridiculous string of tragedies. I’m trying to stay optimistic about my class schedule for this semester, and all of my plans for the next couple of years, but it’s getting really hard lately. Sleep doesn’t come easily lately, and that’s starting to wear on me too. I’m not sure why I’m posting this other than a need to vent, so feel free to ignore me 
Back in late October we took my mother’s uncle, who was the closest thing I ever had to a grandfather (both died before I was born) to the hospital because of an infection in his foot. He spent about a week there on a heavy course of antibiotics. Something about either the unfamiliar location, the drugs, or the fever he’d had from the infection just pushed him over the edge somehow, and he changed literally overnight from a charming, rational man to someone who doesn’t generally know where he is, thinks he’s back in the 40’s, and rarely recognizes his family members. We had to hire a live-in caregiver for him and my maternal grandmother (they live in the same house), but even with her help someone needs to go over there on a daily basis to help explain to him each morning why he wears Depends now and help him get them on, and to help him shower periodically. My mother and her brother started scouting out nursing homes 2 weeks ago, as caring for him in his home is becoming almost untenable.
The end of the first week in December, right after the only big snow Chicago has gotten thus far, my uncle on my father’s side who lives about 1.5 hours north of Chicago was hit by a car while shoveling. 7 feet into his own driveway - the driver lost control of her vehicle after a nearby curve and ran through their lawn, and into my uncle. After stabilizing him at a local hospital, they airlifted him to Northwestern in Chicago. He was in the neurological ICU there until this past week when he was transferred to the Rehab Inst. of Chicago. Both legs were shattered below the knees, he broke a rib and 2 vertebrae, suffered a bruised lung, suffered a severely traumatised brain from impacting the windshield and then the driveway after flying back off the car, and his face was so badly lacerated that multiple plastic surgeries will be required. They kept him unconscious virtually constantly for over a week. When they finally allowed him to stay awake longer we found out he can no longer see. The woman who hit him was uninsured.
About a week and a half after that my maternal grandmother (the one who lives with the affore-mentioned great-uncle) was taken to the ER because her nose had been bleeding for most of the day. After a week there and many tests, a diagnosis of advanced myelofibrosis was given. Oh, and some scanning they were doing also revealed some sort of ovarian cyst. I think that was on December 22.
Christmas, which is usually celebrated at the maternal grandmother’s house on my mother’s side and at my aunt and uncle’s up in northern Illinois on my father’s side, is rather subdued this year.
The day after Christmas a maternal great-aunt who was like a third grandmother to me growing up, passes away. The sister of the grandmother with myelofibrosis, and sister-in-law of the great-uncle who is getting progressively harder to care for. The next day her other brother-in-law, who lived in the same building, dies.
My maternal grandmother is taken to see an OB-Gyn, and we await the test results.
No vision has returned for my uncle - at this stage the doctors are no longer very hopeful it may return.
My paternal grandmother, who lives in northern Illinois with my aunt and the uncle who was hit by a car, asks for her children because she believes it is her time. An already devastated family rushes to her side, and though she feels better later, after much discussion hospice care is arranged because she is often in severe pain, and generally very weak. Her children are in disagreement as to the necessity of hospice, due to denial really, and this causes a major rift. This was about a week and a half ago.
My brother came over last Saturday to hang out for a while while my wife is out of town. While liberal amounts of alcohol are being consumed he tells me that he and my mother are worried about my dad, who apparently has rarely been going to work lately, and taking long naps every day.
My paternal grandmother died the next day. Her funeral is tomorrow.
My maternal grandmother’s follow-up appointment was today. The OB-Gyn has now referred her to a gynecological oncologist. My mother was upset on the phone, and plans to give me further details at the other grandmother’s funeral tomorrow.
On the one hand, with the exception of my uncle, everyone who is seriously ill or recently departed was/is 82 or older, so I can’t say anything is entirely unexpected. But so many sudden illnesses or crises and deaths in such a short period of time has been very difficult to deal with. I already knew that everything was taking a toll on my mother, and worried about her, but now I’m struggling with how to keep an eye on my dad as well, and wondering what I can possibly do to get him going again. And classes started up again yesterday.
Anyway, this is horrifically long, and I need to get up early to be up in Woodstock on time tomorrow. Ambien calls. Thanks for the opportunity to vent a bit.
No one should have to deal with so many personal tragedies in such a short time. However, if you are a man of faith, don’t forget to rely upon it to help you get through. Also, if you have a close-knit support group around you, lean on them. Give them an opportunity to help you. And remember that your OPM family is always hear to listen and add their faith and prayers to help you endure these heartbreaking experiences.
My husband and I send our deepest sympathy for your losses and prayers for you and your family at this time.
Linda
I’m very sorry to hear about this multitude of challenges in your life right now. While clever words probably don’t help in a situation like this, I am truly sorry for your losses and wish you the best in your remaining challenges. I don’t think any of us crave the added strength that things like this tend to give us. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care,
Kathy