I need help! I am a RN and will be returning to college in a few weeks to finish my pre-med stuff. I am worried because 85% of the time i am all psyched about pre-med life, med school, residency, and being a doctor. but some days my interest drops and i don’t want to do it. i love medicine and have analyzed to death my desire to be a doctor and why i want to be one,etc. My intentions are good and not self-centered and i think I would really enjoy every step of the process. My questions is this: Were there days when you were an undergrad or now as a med student where you sit back and go “No way am I doing this to myself” or wonder why you even want to do it? Is it normal to question yourself at times? I would love any comments! thank you!
I’ve found that it’s easier for me if I just take things one step at a time. If I contemplate the whole picture, it is overwhelming! I try not to dwell too much on what my life is going to be like in clinicals & residency. It’s important to be informed and know what you’re getting into, but it doesn’t help to get all stressed out about it years before it will happen.
So, I can say that I have second-guessed myself at times. Especially being the mother of a small child (and soon two!), I sometimes think “what am I doing?”. But, I know it’s the right thing for me and I press on.
I cannot agree more with spacecadet. I have really been trying to make myself stay focused on the here and now. If I look to far ahead, it all seems wwwaaayyyy to daunting. Of course, at times, I do get carried away and begin to think about this task I have undertaken and sometimes I feel so inadequate that it scares me to death. However, I always try to bring myself back to the task(s) at hand and put my energy and worry into doing them the best I can.
Keep up the hard work and try not to look to far ahead. Stay focused on the daily grind, but don’t lose sight of where you want to be.
I think those introspective moments where you wonder if it is worth all the hassle are perfectly normal. It’s a huge decision and a big commitment to opt out of a established life youre probably pretty happy with, of course you’ll doubt if its worth making the change every once in awhile.
I find myself doing this regularly, and I am on my third year Pediatrics rotation. I stand there and think, “I will never know all this stuff, obviously every other person in this room is smarter than I am.” I think rebelliously, "My brain is full, I can’t do it any more."
And then I shuffle off and DO whatever I just thought I couldn’t do, or I find that I know something no one else remembered, or that everyone else drew a blank on a question that I thought meant I wasn’t cut out for it.
Then there are the days when I left the house at 6:00 am, worked all day and into the night without even having a chance to THINK about my family, much less call them to say hi… thought of them briefly as I checked into the student call room at 2am (but couldn’t call them up!), thought of them again briefly when I got up at 5am, then worked through ANOTHER day, finally did get home to see my husband and kids at 7:00pm and rolled into bed at 8:00pm.
On those days I feel like a sh!t for not even thinking of the people who are so important to me, and I can get down on myself for being so wrapped up in my new “job.”
But in that post-call hour between 7pm and 8pm, before I collapsed, I described what I was doing with such enthusiasm that my husband and daughter were saying “Cool!” and “That sounds like fun!” and I realized they were right.
People wonder if they are crazy to have these conflicting feelings. I think you’d be crazy NOT to - it’s a very tough career to choose and you SHOULD regularly re-assess your willingness to do it.