Hello! 
I’m so happy to have found this little source where I can explore a little more about my dreams and about all the stuff that goes into them. I want any opinions you guys have - anything at all including “Girl, grow up and go to class!” But here it goes - I’m 24, living in TX with my boyfriend of three years who owns a house in the city we live in and would be completely unable to move anywhere else for me. There are no medical schools around here. Anyway, I’ll start with the same stuff everyone does - I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was three years old. I graduated a year early from high school and then did nearly all my sciences at a little community college in my hometown. At that point, I made an “A” in all my sciences, although I dropped one with a W. Then I went to the University of Texas, where I graduated in a degree in Human Development and Family Sciences, a degree fairly unrelated to hard sciences. During that time, I took many classes but got repeated W’s on my transcript, including two in the sciences, several “Credit Pass/Fail” courses, and a B in upper division Cell Biology. Other than that, I made all A’s in everything and graduated with a cumulative GPA of a 3.9/4.0. I had dropped below full time in my coursework three times. Several times I enrolled in an MCAT preparation course (with Kaplan and with the Princeton Review) and both times, I quit at quite a loss b/c I just didn’t remember enough of the sciences to succeed, even in the class. I did one semester of volunteer work during my undergrad, but I was almost invisible and no one knew me enough to be able to give me a letter of recommendation at all. I completely gave up on any career in medicine, took a year off to work for the City and applied for and was accepted for graduate school within the field of family science. It’s been about a month and I feel this stirring and this unshakeable burning desire I want to suppress b/c it’s so much harder to find some way to go to medical school - it was funny, I made the mistake of just walking through the pharmacy school which is located on the UT campus and I almost burst into tears b/c I miss the sciences so much. I can’t decide. I don’t know what to do. I don’t believe I could score well at all on the MCAT, my academic career as anyone could see is less than stellar, I don’t have research experience, leadership or anything else, and I have no business leaving my commitment to grad school - I’m here on full funding and am seen here as one of the best students. But I want it. I’m thinking maybe a post-bac somewhere or something? What should I do? Should I just shut up and go to class? - Cat
premedgrrrl,
I’m a little curious - how are you doing in your graduate work? The reason I ask is is there any chance that your mind is seeking subterfuge because you are losing interest in your grad studies?
Hi, how’s it going? I am a fellow Univ. of Texas alumnus.
Why do you keep quitting your MCAT prep classes? They are tailormade to be a relaxed kid-centered environment, where grades don’t matter the way they do in school.
Why do you keep withdrawing from your classes? When you finish them, you get stellar grades.
I don’t know you at all, so I don’t know why you lack such confidence in your own abilities, when by any objective measure, you’re really capable.
This is the definitely the one post i’ve ever read where I really believe that the writer needs to get some counselling, from a career counselor back in Austin (alumni are always welcome to call back and get free advice) and/or a therapist. Try to abstract yourself from your own identity and read what you have written, pretending it came from a stranger. I think you will see that you are holding yourself back for reasons you have to explore.
Actually, the fact is that I am losing interest in my grad studies - I’m realizing rather quickly that while I liked this (family studies) as almost a brain vacation for credit while I take my science classes, they are not something I want to spend the rest of my life in. I love SCIENCE and I love medicine!
Hi! Thank you so much for your advice! You’re right… I’m holding myself back for other reasons… I love my boyfriend (although more and more I feel prepared to go to med school anyway) and I also have a problem with seeing myself quite as capable as others see me. I dropped the MCAT classes twice not b/c I was worried about grades, but because I couldn’t remember the concepts clearly enough to even feel like it was making a difference. BTW, I took your advice and spoke with a therapist and also spoke with a health professions advisor who told me that from my grades, I had no reason to think I couldn’t get it. He suggested that I do all I can to prepare for an April MCAT (my Achilles heel) and find some medical experience pretty quick (I already called a place I’m interested in and will be going to orientation next week.) So there you go! I’ll stop holding myself back now! Thank you!