Next steps: Letting go?

Hello,


I am one course away (and one final exam) from completing my postbacc studies at at a top university. I have a strong ugpa (3.5) and a M.A. from another top school. I decided to enter the program after working in a career where I was highly qualified but a series of personal events and lack of mission led me to make this change.


I pursued all the right experiences since then – volunteering at the ED, keeping up on health and science news, but ultimately I am dissapointed by my performance in the classes (~2.8 GPA, some Cs, Bs, a B+). I am nearly 30 and becoming realisitic about my chances of entering medical school. The personal, emotional and financial costs to continue seem very high and the likelihood of entrance, I am not certain.


The journey and experience thus far has enriched my appreciation for science, the rigors of medical training (and the pain of even applying) and the motivation of the type of person who wants this life. I see the future of medicine merging closely with technology between patient and doctor, individualized treatments based on genetic profiling, and the role of the physician evolving beyond the memorized diagnostician with average interpersonal skills. Physicians of tomorrow need skills that are measured in a ‘fuzzy’ way throughout this process, and yet (from being around my classmates and the hospital), I am not sure where the trend is going but I think my background speaks to these qualities. However, there has to be some reason why the grades just haven’t been there…


All the posts on this forum seems to be from people who are success stories, or fighting strongly against the tide, and the inspiration is great. But over these two years, I come back and back again to ask myself if is this the right career for me? Will the type of studying, training, etc., go against my natural aptitudes and lead to a long period of frustration and unhappiness? I plan to consult an expert to fully review my candidacy at a US MD or DO school but tell me your thoughts about letting go in this process, and when to refocus and take advantage of what one has learned and seek other outlets?


My ‘trend’ in grades has clearly been average at best, and I wonder if there is some deep down unconscious wish to not go through with this…I know what it is like to have physicians in a family and there is certainly tradeoffs in the long run. I won’t even be ready to apply until next June for 2015, and it feels like an eternity with studying for the MCATs, finding a job, deciding if I want to stay in this city, missing out on saving money and committing to a community and relationships. These are real, serious adult questions for me to consider and I am seeking some guidance. I know I threw out a lot here, but I am confident other people in this process regularly grapple with questions like this - certainly my classmates have even though it is discussed on a more personal basis.


Has anyone, or do you know anyone who has walked away and come to terms with the effort put in? How many times have you thought about walking away but pushed forward anyways? I know I have but some wall keeps coming back up, both mentally and with my performance. Any thoughts form professional advisers and other students would be appreciated. Good luck to everyone who is finishing up with finals.


JB



What you are saying sounds very familiar, I believe, to many of us. I too, chose to change professions late into my mid-20’s. Now, I am 31 and just completed my MCAT exam, and applying to school this summer.


I know that this may sound a bit cliche, but in all honesty, the moment you begin to doubt your abilities, is the moment you already begin to lose the battle. I tried my hands at a formal education 12 years ago at UCI, and needless to say, it was straight up, AWFUL. I spent a year getting nothing better than a C+, and withdrew because I believed that school was not “my thing.” 12 years later, I am on the verge of completing my undergraduate degree, with a major that I never thought I would have the discipline to obtain.


I don’t consider my story to be a “success story,” because I believe that a higher power has been guiding me along the way. And all I can do is climb the mountain, or move it out of the way.


On a personal note, I totally understand your concern with the concepts of “getting older;” finances, potential marriage, family, etc. I believe that is something that no one but yourself has to come to terms with. In the end, the actions you take will be based on your decisions, and no one else. Think about your motivations, what got you to this point in your life, and the REASON(S) why you are volunteering to put yourself through the chopping block, like the rest of the pre-meds. I believe that you will find the answer that you are looking for. Just take a moment and decide, because in all honesty, I don’t see how anyone can walk this road while being uncertain. I am sure as heck not perfect, and there have been several times that I questioned my dedication, but every time I began to think negatively, I reminded myself of why I choose this calling.


I hope this helps, friend. You are not alone, and there is a whole mess of us that come to this site, looking for answers; whether it be academic, personal, financial, or whatever.

Thank you for the response and specific advice. Best of luck to you.


-JB

  • f1r33at3r Said:
What you are saying sounds very familiar, I believe, to many of us.

I know that this may sound a bit cliche, but in all honesty, the moment you begin to doubt your abilities, is the moment you already begin to lose the battle. I spent a year getting nothing better than a C+, and withdrew because I believed that school was not "my thing." 12 years later, I am on the verge of completing my undergraduate degree, with a major that I never thought I would have the discipline to obtain.

I hope this helps, friend. You are not alone, and there is a whole mess of us that come to this site, looking for answers; whether it be academic, personal, financial, or whatever.



I am going through exactly what the OP (and the 2nd poster) is going through. I got a cruddy "C" in algebra-based physics and an A in Bio.

My sGPA (I've just begun) is 2.7, my cGPA is around 3.3; not stellar by any means but again, I have just begun my journey. My old "remedial" type courses still hold strong, although they're from 1988 (got an A in shorthand if that doesn't tell you how old those awful grades are). There needs to be a 20 year "drop-off" limit for people like us; almost like mercy before the court.

Anyway, you're not alone. Please don't think that ever. If this is for you, drive on. If not, that's cool. I think it is because you're here seeking reassurance. I have it for you. Drive on, be the success story we all need to inspire us. I believe in you.


You have made it this far you might as well finish it, otherwise you will always be asking yourself “what if”. Leaving a process uncompleted will leave you with question marks that will walk with you for a life time; can you live with that?


The only way to gain the certainty you are seeking is to actually apply and see what happens.


Do your best and let god do the rest.


Best






  • segallv Said:
You have made it this far you might as well finish it, otherwise you will always be asking yourself "what if". Leaving a process uncompleted will leave you with question marks that will walk with you for a life time; can you live with that?

The only way to gain the certainty you are seeking is to actually apply and see what happens.

Do your best and let god do the rest.

Best



This is A+++++ advice!!! Very applicable to me as well.

Thanks for the wisdom


Thinking about the entire process can be overwhelming so I understand if you get discouraged. I’m starting medical school in August and I also have doubts about my ability as a father to be there for both my kids during school. I wonder how strained my relationship with my wife will be when I’m at the library every night of the week. I wonder if I had stayed in corporate I would have continued to climb the corporate ladder earning more money and not putting my family in debt.


I’m going to be around 40 when I finish residency. If I stayed in corporate, would I be a Sr. Manager or Director then? Without the undue stress of medical school and residency?


I think about walking away and then I go to my weekly shadowing of an orthopedic surgeon and I realize that that’s what I want to do with my career.


Perhaps this is what you need, to go back to what really made you want to go into medicine and let it recharge you.


Stay in there. We’re rooting for you.

I need a “like” button.