No support from family, am I nuts?

Hey everyone.

I’m pretty new this forum. I’m a 27 year old single nurse without kids living in the Bay area. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, but I opted for “life experience” vs “academic success” when I was younger. I destroyed my GPA, but once I was able to put my head back on straight, I was able to bring up my GPA and graduate with a BSN.

I thought I would eventually become an advanced practice nurse and it would be close enough to being a physician that I would be satisfied. Well, as it has been discussed on this forum, nursing and medicine are two separate fields, and I feel like I belong in medicine rather than nursing.

I am BLESSED to be employed at a major academic medical center, and I make very good money for a bedside nurse (probably the top 90%). However, I am still driven to become a doctor.

Unfortunately, my family does not grasp nor understand my decision. My mother gets upset whenever I mention going back to school. She thinks I should save money and retire young, then go back to medical school (which doesn’t make any sense to me, but okay). I have two cousins who are physicians. One is supportive (after repeatedly asking “What else could you do that would make you as happy? Nothing? Okay then…”), and the other one told me in no uncertain terms that I am crazy to give up such a great job as a nurse, especially when I should be “looking for a husband and starting a family”.

I think I should mention that my family is super old fashioned, if you couldn’t already tell.

The few nursing friends I’ve told seemed offended that I would ever dream of going back to medical school as opposed to becoming a NP (I’ve investigated that route, and while I’m not knocking it, I want total autonomy in my practice).

With that being said, I do have friends who are supportive and excited for me, but not nearly as many as I thought.

Then I went to SDN where life apparently ends after 25 years, so why would you ever think of applying to medical school after that? That didn’t help. Then I found you guys.

I’ve been reading through the forums and I’m grateful for all the posts. It’s reassuring to find those with lives (spouses, working, kids)and past awful GPA’s have found a way to get through school.

I’m just discouraged that my own family thinks medical school isn’t a worthwhile goal and I should be a stay at home mother.

Any input from those who had friends and family think they were nuts? If you had to do it all again, would you have?



Short answer: Yes - as are all of the rest of us. By the way depending on your definition of normalcy, anyone can be categorized as ‘nuts’.

Go for it. I’m contemplating med school now after 3 years practicing as a FNP…with two kids and a hubbie in tow. Do it with no kids!

Go for it…I am in the same boat, my mom especially is really pushing me to go NP route. Thank God my husband is supportive of whatever I do. NP route looks so tempting, and when I get scared of failing (O-Chem, the MCAT) and everything else I still need to do…NP looks very attractive. But I realize that decision would be one made out of fear, and fear-based decisions seldom reflect what you really want. So…one step at a time, for me, for you, for all of us. Starting first round of bio tomorrow!

You should Definitely go for it!!! Plus you are only 27, you have that working for you as well.

Btw, I will be doing this all by myself with no help or encouragement from anyone, but that is not going to stop me from pursuing my life’s purpose.

This is Your decision and no one else. You should definitely go for it!!

My question for you is who’s life are you going to live, your own or your Mothers? Corporate America has made me a bit cynical, but I do not believe in the win-win situation, I believe that there is almost nothing but situations where one party wins and the other loses. The choice you get here is which party you want to be. If you decide to listen to your family, stay home, have kids, as your ultimate goal in life, will be resentful, always wondering, even bitter after a time? If you decide to go to school will your mom always think it was the wrong decision?

As one of our speakers in 2007, Dr. Wally Newkirk, asked himself being over 50 and moving to Aruba to go to med school, what are you willing to give up?

On a more positive note, you should peruse MomMD and see some of the forums are having a family while going to med school. People do it all the time. It is easy, hell no! but you have to decide what you want.

Oh, the thing that keeps most students from being successful is the FUD factor: fear, uncertainty and doubt. Make a decision, dont expect or try to get everyone’s support, but implement your decision with a plan on how to get there