I am a 26 year old male attending a community college on the pre-med pathway, just to give some numbers I’ll be 30 when I get my bachelors and get into medical school, 34 when I graduate medical school (assuming I get in first applied cycle), and then doing an ER residency, I’d be 37. My GF is doing the nursing route and needless to say she will be done with her school in 3 years long before I will be done. She’s a girl I truly love and who’s companionship I cherish and we both see our futures together, BUT we also see the hurdles of my medical path. She values traveling and having a family earlier rather than later. I absolutely love traveling and want a family too, but I know it’d be hard to have a family during medical school/residency so sometimes I feel that my path and the timing of it is going to push us apart. I considered the PA route for awhile, but after shadowing, researching, and soul searching I’ve decided that being a physician is my life purpose. I’m reaching out for other people who have been in similar situations to see how their relationships turned out or any other advice good or bad that people can give.
Having children in medical school/residency is not the end of the world. I have 2 kids, I’m in med school and doing well. Several of my classmates have children, and they’re fine. Some of my female classmates had children during the semester, sat out for a few weeks and then came back. They’re doing fine. There are definitely times when it’s difficult, but it’s doable.
If children are something that you and your girlfriend want, then go for it. Don’t let that hold you back.
Yes, IF YOU WANT to have children, don’t wait too long. Find your work life balance now while still in school. However, do that soul searching with regards to family. Don’t have children because your girlfriend wants them. Do YOU want to have children now? If so, go for it. If you DON’T, then you need to be honest with her. If you truly love her, you’ll be willing to let her go to be happy. But she may also surprise you and you two can work out a compromise.