This is unlikely but I was wondering if there were any other users that are single mothers about to embark on a pre-med education?
I would like to know your experiences and are post bac pre-med programs worth it or I should look for a community college in my area?
What programs cater to us single parents, if any at all, or at least have understanding of our predicament?
I have been a single mom through my higher education experience and I’m about to finish my MA this summer at Dartmouth. So “challenging” is something I’m very familiar with. I also have no family help, my mother passed in 08 and my dad lives 2500 miles away, just an fyi therefore suggesting that won’t help.
I have been in love with chemistry and medicine since I was a little girl and was in my first year of college, working toward a BS in Chem, when I got pregnant and could not continue with the labs required. He is older now and I desperately want to get back into studying the sciences. There aren’t any colleges here that would just accept me without going through the same process as 18 year old kids and I’m just not willing to do that. Plus most universities are really expensive compared to community colleges. Unfortunately all the community colleges are close to 2 hours away. Therefore it leaves me with the only choice to move somewhere else to get the pre reqs I need. That’s why I was more interested in the post bac pre med programs. I have a great deal to weigh when choosing.
I realize my situation may be slightly unique hence the reason why I am posting the question for the 100th time on this forum.
Your thoughts and experiences would be very appreciated. 
- In reply to:
What do you mean?
You said there are no colleges there that would accept you without going thru the whole process. I’d look at state universities. Commonly, the whole process of being accepted as a student is for full-time students registered with a major. If you have a degree, often you can register as a “community scholar” or simply part-time student without formally matriculating.
I agree you may still have difficulties. I found that I could not get into the classes I needed (the prereqs) because they were already filled by the time the non-full time students were allowed to register. That is why I chose a post-bacc premed program. My other choices would have been to try to get the courses I needed at a community college, or to matriculate as a degree-seeking student. UVA actually had the “community scholar” option, but not for all the courses I needed. I thought my post-bacc program was great, there were some single moms in there, but it is definately a more expensive route to go.
I’m not sure what you mean by a program understanding your situation. Certainly you should not be discriminated against because of being a single mom (there are plenty of single parents in my med school as well - men and women). But as to whether you can expect flexibility of scheduling…that’s probably not the case. OFten, the program is what it is, and either you can figure out a way to do it, or not.
I do want to encourage you, however. Bravo for pursuing your dream! If I had not waited until my kids were done college, I’d be a lot younger!
Kate
I mean submitting SAT scores and becoming a full time student.
Thanks for the reply. I’m leaning towards the post bac pre med programs because I think they will be more comfortable for me. Harvard has one that looks very promising and I like there financial aid packages available for it.
As for “understanding my situation” I mean just that, understanding, not scheduling just acknowledgment.
I’ve been surrounded by faculty and students that have never seen a single mother do what I’m doing and it gets annoying after a while. I know it has to do with the schools that I’ve attended being schools that don’t normally cater to the unconventional student. Therefore, they tend to be a little biased. It would be nice to be looked at like a normal person not someone with 5 heads. Maybe it’s just and east coast ivy league thing.
hmmmm… anyway… thanks again.
- Kumani Said:
hmmmm... anyway... thanks again.
I've spent some part of my 20+ premed "career" as a single parent, so I can relate to what you're talking about.
I guess what I don't understand is that if you find particular environments "annoying", why you would again choose to seek out such environments. I've known many Ivy league grads, so I understand the pull to maintain the Ivy league education. But if you know going in that there are more supportive environments out there for you and there are certainly schools that are known to be friendly to folks with families, I'd target those in addition to the Ivies.
IMHO, the question isn't can you make it at a particular school because I believe a properly motivated person can make it anywhere. The question is what programs/policies/facilit ies are in place at a particular school that would make your life as a single parent easier. For example, is there on campus family housing? Will financial aide increase your budget to account for daycare expenses? Is there quality daycare on or very near campus? Are living costs reasonable? Quality public elementary schools in the area? What's the going rate for babysittters in the area?
As I hope you can see, there are LOTS of questions outside the quality of the school itself that need to be addressed when you're a single parent.
- pathdr2b Said:
IMHO, the question isn't can you make it at a particular school because I believe a properly motivated person can make it anywhere.
I concur. I am a single mom and it's darn hard with or without school, premed or not, but I agree that motivation is key no matter what you do. I've perfected the art of ignoring the naysayers and just keeping my head in my books on my eyes on the future. It can be done, but let's be honest here, there is a big element of "wanting it" and being motivated, too. I'm an idealist, though. I feel that anyone can do anything!
That being said, surrounding yourself with 20 something Ivy league premeds or similar, if I'm following this thread correctly, may be discouraging. I have no experience with Ivy leaguers, so I cannot speak to that, but I have my fair share of 20 something hot-shots that on a bad day, get me down and have me feeling worthless, but on most days I can just step back and realize that we are all on our own unique path. My route may be different than theirs, but, heck, it may just be to an advantage that I cannot always see.
Kumani you say you are about to finish your MA this summer at Dartmouth and that you've worked through your higher education as a single mom already, so clearly you have it in you. You must have found support systems one way or another to make it work. It sounds to me like you already know you can do it, but you are looking for support outside yourself. Maybe that isn't always the best strategy. It helps, sure, when you are met by those who encourage you, but you should not have to seek out outside encouragement. I met with a premed advisor last year who was completely dismissive and had me pretty much ready to give up. Strangely, this advisor was recommended by another non-trad who since has graduated med school so I was expecting something completely different than what I got. It took me a good month to brush that experience off and get back to the business of being a premed. The experience made me realize that I don't need to look outside of myself for motivation or encouragement. I am fortunate, though, to have a lot of it in my family and others, but I don't NEED it from anyone else.
As for making the nuts and bolts of it work, I think it really depends on the school you choose to do your premed coursework and then the med school you end up at. You'd be surprised how many resources are out there, but they are not always conspicuous and it may become a part time job finding them, but they do exist. As I found with my unfortunate premed advisor meeting, they are not always where you expect to find them. I found a professor in the Bio dept who despite not having any formal premed student experience was extremely helpful in navigating the non trad parent pathways through higher education. Keep your eyes and ears open and tell EVERYONE your plans because you never know who can help or who has been there who may be listening.
Best of luck and I hope we keep "hearing" from you soon!
Shannon
Shanon and Pathdr2be, I agree with both of you and of course I’m looking into all of the above relating to not just the school itself but everything else. All of the child care info and school, cost of living, etc, are all very important factors.
Why stay with the Ivy Leagues? Actually no particular reason except Harvard is by far the cheapest post bac pre med in the northeast. I even looked at UVM and their program was almost 3 times what Harvard cost. I have been researching so many overs the past couple of days and I’m torn between HES (Harvard) and Scripps, but I really don’t want to have to move across the country for a program like this unless it’s close to where I’m going to go to Med School. I’ve moved enough with my son and I don’t want to do it anymore.
I like the idea of not trying to get into a highly competitive program though, because I think it distracts from the learning environment. If I go, I want to go because I want to really learn not because of the name or affiliations. I don’t need, nor do I want, sponsorship. I don’t put much weight on a doctors abilities relating to where they went to school for premed or med school. Obviously some are better than others but… Could I get into many of these program? Yes, because of my GPA and testing. I don’t want to do “cut throat” pre med stuff with a bunch of young people, or for that matter people my age, when I’m there to learn not posture and… well you know what I mean.
As for support systems? I’ve done this alone and when I say alone I mean ALONE. Crazy to think I know, but I have no family close by and haven’t. I’ve never had any groups or anything. I had some pretty amazing teachers that really pushed me very hard, which I appreciated. I think they cared for me because they took the time to push me harder than some of my other class mates. Did they help with child care? Of course not. When you get pregnant your freshman year people expect you to drop out and not come back, at least that was my experience. When I stayed it was of weird for many people, and all of my friends stopped talking to me so… what can I say. It’s been hard, but worth every minute. I also believe you can do anything as long as you really want it, obviously, with a few exceptions. I’m older and it took me a little longer but I made it this far and I believe there is nothing out there harder than what I’ve already done. I’m ready and so is my son for that next, and hopefully last, big leap and long hike.
Thank you for responding it really means a lot to me. Feedback is always welcome. Shannon your post meant a lot, thank you for the words of encouragement. It’s amazing how much a little goes a long way.