The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, The Terminator’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Austro-English” (or, perhaps even better, “Austrionics”.)
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kanhave one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spellingkan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Thank you for this!!! LOL LOL LOL
There was an Austrian lady at the hospice where I volunteer. She often seemed gloomy. Last time I saw her, I mentioned that I never watch the news (neither does she) because it just makes me mad. “For instance, it really annoyed me that California elected Arnold…”
“WHAT?” she said. “You are kidding me. Why would people vote for him? Are they stupid? He’s a farm boy! He knows nothing!” Later she asked the nurses if it was tru, and asked her daughter if we were all playing a joke on her. Finally she made her daughter go home and get her address book so she could call her sister in Austria and find out what she thinks about it. It was the liveliest anyone had seen her in weeks.
Three weeks later I came back to the hospice and she was gone. I was surprised; usually I can tell who won’t be there when I get back. I asked the nurse about it and it seems my Austrian lady is in rehab now.
It’s always nice when someone gets kicked out of the hospice for not dying.
So Arnold has already done something good.