let’s just say childish actions have left me wondering why i am here.
there are certain rumors circulating around my back that are circulating to the extent that they not only are being heard by second years but also by the deans.
i was just in the deans office today and thankfully they know me well enough to know that these rumors hold no water and completely go against the type of person i am.
but still now i have the added stress of dealing with this, and just the toll it takes on you.
this is just a nightmare…an absolute nightmare 
I’m not a med student, so take that into account.
What you do is you realize that life is made up of dealing with people. Some people are pleasant; maybe they’ve led a charmed life, but more likely they have decided to be that way. In either case, when you deal with them, life tends to be enjoyable. Other people are unpleasant; maybe they’ve been dealt a short hand, but in any case they have chosen to act in an immature, belligerent, or even toxic manner. When you have to deal with such people, life tends to be difficult.
This is not an artifact of the premed or medical profession; rather, it is a characteristic of human societies. Different human societies and religious philosophies try to provide a framework for how we treat each other, in the hope that most people will tend to treat others better and society as a whole will benefit. But you can’t legislate basic human decency in action, as our current political and societal discourse show.
You’re already two steps ahead of the game, because the decision-makers know that the malignant gossip is spurious. So it hurts your feelings, but for the moment, it doesn’t hurt anything more substantial. This is great; it means that as long as you keep your nose clean and the decision-makers see that, you’re in the clear. You might even garner their sympathy, which puts you another step ahead. Dealing with this situation successfully can put you well ahead of where you would otherwise be.
But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. If it helps at all – and it probably does not – realize that this kind of thing can and does happen in most places of work and school, anywhere imperfect, immature, egotistical people congregate in groups. Just work hard not to be one of them. You will get through this and be all right. Remember that; it’s true.
Another options is to treat it like any only virulent pustule and lance it and expose it to light and air so it can die properly. That is: if you have the stomach for interpersonal conflict, I’ve often found the best way to handle these sort of situations is to call out the person who started the rumor, or at least begin discussing it with anyone in your peer group who will listen.
Becky,
I just have to give you my support here. Coincidentally, I am also a MWU student, in Arizona. I have to remind myself that many people, under the stress of medical school, revert to behaviors that are unworthy of grown people. You may just have to pat yourself on the back for coming as far as you have, and just hang on until you get through the emotional fallout, and go on to better things. Working through some emotional fallout myself, and struggling, but luckily will be done with my academic years in a few weeks, and I feel good for doing okay in spite of the emotional roller-coaster ride. Hope you can hang on in spite of the unkindness. The best revenge is success! You can do it!
Sincerely, Jean, 51yo
mother, wife, and grandmother
As a person who sits on my school’s Disciplinary Committee, I can tell you that you are innocent until proven guilty. And we can sit for hours listening to testimony and looking at evidence and we can tell who is truly doing something they should not, and which are either rumors or misconceptions.
I would not sweat it. But ensure that you surround yourself with like minded people and not even interact with those that wish to do you wrong. Because in the end, they will surely mess up and they will stand in front of me trying to explain themselves.
Hang in there Becky. Your patients will benefit from the maturity that you have. Hopefully your classmates will develop some over the course of their schooling and residency. Don’t give up!
Melanie
M1