a noteworthy life is ending

My mother-in-law is in the final hours of her life.
She has been in hospice care after being diagnosed in May with metastatic lung cancer (she’d had two previous wedge resections). She had been doing well at home, declining slowly, eating less, but still mobile and managing. Then - disaster struck a week ago when she fell in her bathroom, breaking her humerus. The fracture was undoubtedly due to metastatic bone disease. Her severely diminished lung capacity made surgical stabilisation of the break impossible. Various slings and splints and other ortho tricks have been tried without success. The only thing that could be done was to medicate her a LOT for pain.
And as a result of all these things in combination - her declining status, her metastatic disease, her diminished lung capacity, and now a big drug burden - she is dying. I had the privilege of spending hours at her bedside tonight along with my husband, my father-in-law, and two of my brothers-in-law.
My MIL has been a treat to know. She irritated the crap out of me on many an occasion but she was truly kind and generous. She loved my husband and me and our kids and was a GREAT Grandma. In recent months, she’d come to count on me to interpret all the medical crap she was hearing - no one else seemed to want to give her the time she needed. She was plenty smart but not highly schooled and I think a lot of her doctors just didn’t feel like taking the time to make sure she understood. She “got it,” always - she was a sharp cookie. She came to refer to me as her “personal family doctor,” and I considered it a great privilege to give her counsel even if it WAS about mundane stuff like constipation.
Even as I pray for her peaceful release - her ragged breathing was very hard to witness although I do not think she is in pain - I grieve to lose her. She was a wonderful woman, a devoted wife, loving mom, generous mother-in-law, and doting grandmother.

Just know that you and your family are in my prayers.

I'm sorry Mary!!! My thoughts are with you.

I'm so sorry. I hope that she is surrounded by family and friends and that she has a peaceful passing.

Thanks, all. She passed away peacefully a little after midnight today. Her husband and two of her six children were with her. In recent weeks, since her terminal diagnosis, she and my father-in-law had hosted visits from all four of their out-of-town children and their respective spouses, most of their grandchildren, and their one great-grandchild. Without calling it such, she had made her complete round of goodbyes, and had done it when she was able to sit at the table, joke around, play cards and enjoy others' company. It was a wrenching, poignant but good parting.

My condolences Mary. Please pass along mine and Debbie's prayers and wishes for you and Paul.

God's blessings to you and your family!!! I'm quite sure she's at rest in His arms and her life was well worth living!!!

thanks, Kim, and WELCOME BACK to OPM - it was nice to see your user name again! smile.gif

My Thoughts and prayers are with you Mary and your entire family


I am so sorry to hear that Mary. You and your family are in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care,
Jeff in Seattle

My thoughts and prayers for your mother-in-law, you and your family. She sounds terrific…glad you could know her and vice versa. Take care…

Hi Mary,
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. I am sure that your MIL felt so much love in her final hours. She was fortunate to have such a loving family.

Dear Mary,
I want to extend my sympathy to you and your family during this most difficult time. Please accept my condolences and prayers for you and your family.
My husband and I only know too well the experience of losing parents. Almost 6 years ago now, we lost my FIL, my father, my mother and my almost 100 year old grandfather all during a year's time. When I also read in a past post where you described dealing with your own parent's fragile health as well, I was reminded of our situation some 6 years ago. If there is any way I can be of support to you, please let me know. God Bless.

Dear Mary,
My sympathy to you during this sad time. You and your family are in my thoughts.

I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law's passing.
Please know that you, your husband and entire family are in Zane and my thoughts and prayers.

Peace be with you and your family Mary. I am sure that she was at peace when she passed knowing that she was not alone but surrounded by people who loved her.
Our loved ones never leave us, they live forever in our hearts and in our memories.

I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your mother in law. I had a friend die from AIDs on Thursday morning. He fought for many years and finally gave it up. He was only 43. Death sucks.

Dear Mary,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother in law. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thanks again to all for your kind thoughts. We all miss her terribly and continue to enjoy a heightened level of closeness among the siblings and siblings-in-law, which is nice. I like to look at it as, she has died but remains very much alive in our family and our memories.