abandoning wait lists?

At what point should you (or would you) abandon all the waitlists you are on and go with any acceptances that you have?
I’ve been extremely fortunate in that I’ve been accepted at 2 schools, and waitlisted at one… I’ve declined one of my acceptances, but am holding the spot (and filling out the paperwork) for the other… My husband would like me to consider the waitlist school (that’s another thread entirely)… but I’m wondering… at what point “in the game” should I say… OK, THIS IS IT! I’m not messing around with this anymore… the acceptance is what it’s going to be.
just curious,

I guess it depends on what point in the game you are willing to completely change directions and how much money you are going to lose at that point.
Part of the reason I chose to hold my one acceptance at a particular school was because it would have been much easier for me to drop that acceptance if I was accepted at my #1 choice late in the summer.
Things to consider: how difficult is it going to be to move/find housing as the summer progresses? how much money do you stand to lose in deposits/etc. where you are currently accepted? why is it important to your husband that you strongly consider the waitlist school? how do YOU feel about the waitlist school?
Just a few random thoughts off the top of my head - I was willing to wait for my waitlist school until ~ the first of august. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait that long.

I abandoned my wait list spot at my #1 choice when I came to the date where the $3000 deposit at my #2 choice became non-refundable. I was perfectly happy to have my acceptance at school #2 and I would NOT have been happy to lose three thousand bucks, so there wasn’t a lot of angst in the decision. Had the #1 choice involved stuff like NOT moving vs. moving or a real clear preference on my part, I might’ve been willing to lose the money, I suppose.

Let’s see…
here are the reasons that my husband wants me to consider the other school…
- it’s closer to his family (the school where I’m holding the acceptance is twice as far from them).
- he believes that it will be much easier for him to find a job there
- he believes that he will be able to make a lateral or progressive move with his job should we move there vs potentially taking a pay cut if we go where I’m holding the acceptance.
- he thinks the schools might be better there than where I’m holding the acceptance.
- the cost of living appears to be less than where I am currently accepted.
I think there are other reasons, but those are the ones that I’m remembering right now.
I was originally VERY put off by these suggestions from him… after all, we’ve been waiting for all this time for an answer from a different school (which we now have)…
however, I must admit that I was being selfish in not really considering his ambition regarding his career… so I agreed to consider or something…
However, here are things I’m concerned about…
1. any move is going to be difficult - waiting until the last minute is going to be that much harder
2. tuition at the waitlist school is ~$8000 higher than at the school that I’m holding the acceptance.
3. from my research the schools seem to be worse, or at best not as good.
4. the program at the school that I am accepted at is PBL based… and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to follow a PBL program… I think it suits my personality better than full lecture and I’m really excited about that… but the waitlist program is not PBL…(Of course I have some preconceptions about PBL and the amount of time spent studying etc and that has some bearing on things as well).
5. the waitlist program is much closer to a very large metropolitan area - which concerns me… I’m a country girl…so that’s kind of a scary proposition.
the waitlist school starts about 2 weeks after the accepted school does…
If I drop my acceptance, I will lose $1500. While this isn’t the end of the world… I’d have to come up with 2250 to hold my spot at the waitlist school (if I become accepted).
It’s hard to fathom at this point… I hate that there are so many unknowns but not exactly sure what to do… My husband has made SOOO many sacrifices for me to be able to do this, it’s hard for me to not grant him this request… on the other hand… I hate to drag things out forever and leave things undone for so long… at some point we actually need to move… and I don’t want to have to do that under any more duress…

Do you have any idea where you are on the waitlist? Is that something the school would tell you? It seems to me like you should only be going through this torture if you’re high up on the waitlist and are likely to hear from the school soon. If you sounded more excited about the school (the waitlist one), I wouldn’t be saying this–then I’d be saying, keep waiting. But you don’t sound that excited about it–you sound like you really want to go to the one you’re holding a space at!

Unfortunately, I don’t know where I am on the waitlist… they won’t tell me… And it’s true… I am far more interested in the school where I am holding a position than I am in the other… the only reason that I’m even considering the other is because I think it might be more fair for my husband and his career to do so…
the reality of it all is that until I get off the waitlist (if this happens at all) then I can’t really consider that school fully… but in the meantime, I guess I have to investigate all my options… I’m just wary of waiting until the last minute…
I am still following through with all the paperwork and prep for the school that I’m holding the spot at… physicals and transcripts etc… all the fun stuff…it’s just very hard waiting and dealing with so much uncertainty…
I keep thinking that there ought to be some “drop dead” date… like I don’t know… mid June at the latest to say… ok… this is it… I’m done with you now… but I still don’t know that that is “fair”.
The only bits of information that I have about the waitlist school is that they’re going through their waitlist rather quickly and there has been lots of movement on it (this is from them directly)… but I don’t know exactly how many people are on it or remain on it… they contacte me last week and asked me if I wished to remain on it… and my husband asked me to answer yes, so I did…

I know it’s hard to do, but try to knock the status of the other school OFF your list of reasons why you’re not so excited about it. You’ll be able to do well and move your own career wherever you end up and the USN&WR rankings don’t mean diddly. You absolutely, positively can be master of your own fate.

First you need to remember that you should go to the school where YOU feel you will be most successful in obtaining your medical education. If you are more comfortable and satisfied with the school where you are already accepted, then that is where you should go.
While this a difficult journey for us as medical students, it can be even more difficult for our spouses. My husband has been extremely supportive through it all, and he would be more than willing to talk with yours about the sacrifices that have to be made to assure your success in school. Have him email Zane at <JuniorsDad2@aol.com) and Zane will be more than happy to reply.
As for PBL . . . it rocks! Especially for we nontrads. Best of luck and remember, like Mary said the ranking of the school is not the most important thing in your education. We all pass the same boards to become doctors, and you will do fine wherever you choose to go.