Always thinking...

I am finally making the decision to go for it. I am going to go full-time and not drop out. No excuses.

Now, my problem is my attitude towards myself. I am a “worry wart”. My whole life I’ve set myself up for failing before I even begin. I am very excited to take my courses, but already thinking I would not get accepted due to past grades, W’s, and oh my favorite of all time, would if I forget to put down all the schools I have attended(maybe not really wanting them to see my past college years)lol. I have moved alot, started at new schools and either dropped out, or can’t remember what would be on my transcript. I usually started with 1 or 2 classes and drop. I actually have one D on my transcript at this one school I attended and not sure how I received it. I never went to class, because I withdrew. Go figure!

Sometimes I don’t think I am smart enough. Sometimes I say I am too tired, I have 3 children. Well, I guess I need to put all that in a box and seal it. I believe I do this to myself because I am afraid of failing.

My new attitude states: I need to only focus on my courses for that semester and do well.

Anyone else like this? You would think at the ripe age of 37 this would not be an issue.

Anyone? How do you deal with these feelings?


I do this ALL the time. I have to quiet myself by thinking the following thoughts:

  1. I can’t change what I’ve done in the past, so I’ll just concentrate on the present.

  2. If I don’t get into med school, I’ll be disappointed but at least I’ll have tried. If I never try, I’ll always wonder what if.

  3. I want to be a psychiatrist because it’s what I’ve wanted since I was 10 years old. If I don’t get in, I have a pretty awesome back up plan - becoming a clinical psychologist. So my dream will be fulfilled regardless.

  4. There’s a major physician shortage coming up, so they need me! This last one’s a joke, but it comforts me.

    It’s hard not to second-guess yourself, especially with one of the most daunting/intimidating selection processes of any employment sector! But just keep going full steam ahead, and you’ll find your confidence again. Good luck!