Bagels in the Hospital Jokes

Note: This is from the New York Times Metropolitan Diary, 2/26/2001. Please note that most new yorkers know, that an “everything” bagel refers to one that has all the flavorings on it (ie salt, poppy, sesame, onion, garlic)


Scene: Small cafeteria at a New York hospital.

Participants: Young man in scrubs, presumably a doctor, looking rumpled and tired, and cafeteria server.

Observer: Philippa Jane Benson, who had found her way to the cafeteria after spending the night with her mother, who had undergone surgery.

Doctor: Got bagels?

Server (cheerily): Only everything.

Doctor: O.K. Give me sesame, toasted.

Server: Don’t have any sesame.

Doctor: O.K. Give me poppy.

Server: No poppy.

Doctor: What do you have again?

Server: Everything.

Doctor: Give me onion, then.

Server: No onion.

Doctor: So you’ve got everything but no sesame, poppy or onion.

Server: Right.

Doctor: Just toast me a bagel. (Steps away to pour himself some coffee.)

Ms. Benson (taking her turn at the counter and addressing server): He must be tired.

Server: Yeah. Or from out of town. You know, they don’t get everything everywhere like we got in New York.

I’m not a yorker but I knew what an everything bagel was lol.

You are making me homesick for a good NY bagel!

haha, nice.

Definitely one of many food groups missed when not living in the northeast.