I am probably the first in my family to read a whole novel. No seriously. So, when family or friends introduce me as this is _____ and he is going to be a doctor, part of me gets annoyed because it seems like bragging. I’ve never really cared to make a big deal about what I do for work. One of my friends who has always been a slightly witty, articulate person, seems to be a bit more arrogant now that he has recieved his law and MBA degrees. I like to have a reputation for a good job done but can do without the grandiose attitude. I could also care less how much I’m getting paid, as long as I can support my family, enjoy life with friends and most important to me, have enough for when I retire.
Sounds like you’ve done your venting there, but I genrally agree. I find it a bit discomforting to be identified by any single aspect of myself, ambitious career plans included.
I would say for me, just starting the pre-reqs, it’s a little annoying for my family (parents) to tell everyone about my plans. Sure it’s exciting and fun to think about, but what if I get halfway into these pre-reqs and it’s not for me? Maybe medicine is for me or not… I don’t know, haven’t volunteering in clinical setting either. Sure, Grey’s anatomy and Nip/Tuck all make it seem appealing, but I want to see for myself and it does add pressure when others have high expectations for you to attend med school just because you mention it. When really, you don’t know what your plans are, you just want to have a goal.
My family members do this all the time. Since I am only one of two women with advanced degrees (most of the women in my extended family did not even graduate from high school. Essentially, my parents made monumental sacrifices early on to make it even possible for me. I made my own sacrifices to achieve it. They are just really proud of our family. So I quietly grin and bear it out of respect.
My cousin and I are the first in my family to graduate college and I am by far the first to get a professional degree. My mom works as a cashier in the neighborhood grocery (bigger than a convenience store but not one of the big chains). Anyway, she always introduces me as her “doctor daughter” and before that it was “my daughter who is going to be a doctor.” Before graduating, I used to think those people looked a me and thought “Yeah right…whatever.”
It is definitely embarassing, but I think it is a way that she validates her place in the world. She made a lot of sacrifices when my sister and I were younger to help us achieve more than the generation before us, sending us to camps that in retrospect my parents couldn’t afford, motivating us to study…the list goes on and on. She even made sure that we got everything out of Title IX. With all of that in mind, I would never dream of saying anything.
See ya’ll in a couple of weeks.
Tara
Come on, you all, let your parents be super proud of you. 
If you had grown children and they were finally realizing their own dreams, you’d be ecstatic. I’m guilty of this as I have two grown children: My son the rocket scientist (PhD in aeroastro engineering) and my daughter the Buddhist scholar). (See, you’ve just read about a parent bragging. ) I’m very proud of them. And they suffer, usually with a smile, when I brag about them. This is what family does. Just go with the flow. One day you’ll be doing the same with those who are very special to you.
Smiles,
Judy
(See you in Chicago!)
You are right! The only problem I have when my mom does it is that in public I’m her daughter the future doctor. In private, however, she seems to have more doubts on whether I can do this than I do (and believe me, at times I have many). So I do sort of understand where the others are coming from.
This annoys me too, though of course I understand it. It adds extra pressure, public pressure, to an already stressful situation - I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. When my family (really just my mother) talks about me becoming a doctor, when I haven’t even taken orgo yet, it sets my teeth on edge, because I might not make it. Yes, I know she’s proud of me, but i wish she’d wait until I was accepted to a school to broadcast it.
It annoyed me when I worried about the MCAT and course grades when friends/family would always say “you’re so smart it will be easy!” It seems to most people that just pursuing medicine makes someone “smart” and that everything else must come easy!
I held off telling people about applying until this year since I’m actually applying because I didn’t want my friends/family walking around saying “my friend/relative who’s GOING to medical school” when I JUST submitted my application today!
Like you others, I appreciate the confidence from my friends and family, but I don’t want them jinxing me!!!
Not to be difficult here, but what I see you guys describing is the result of perceived pressure you are adding onto yourself born of endorsement of folks who want you to succeed. In other words, the heat is now on for you to put your money where your mouth is. Yes, that pressure is real, can yield irriitation, but you would be making a big error to redirect that angst towards your supporters. You need to learn to constructively redirect this energy in a constructive manner.
Furthermore, yes, the comments of support from freinds, family & even strangers may very well appear to be patronizingly simplistic or even platitude-like. This is because unless you have attempted this gig, you have no clue as to what all is involved - remember not too long ago, YOU were equally clueless. As you have educated yourself on the process of application, education & training, you now see how large the challenge is.
Your supporters do not have this perspective, have no need to have it and truly just mean to bolster you on your journey. If you feel compelled to do so & they are interested, try educating them. Otherwise, just smile and accept their pride in you & your accomplishments with a big shit-eating grin!
It embarrasses me sometimes, but the more I think about it, the more I love it.
Two years ago, when I was applying, I flew home to be with my mother, who was having colon surgery. She told the surgeon, anesthesiologist, and every resident who came to see her all about my MCAT scores. It was embarrassing. But think about it. My mom was having a piece removed from her colon (not cancer, just prolapse and she had a lot of excess colon anyway so the surgeon proposed this solution) and she was still so proud of me she couldn’t stop talking about it.
It’s just another way people show they love you.
Hey, I didn’t say I loathed their support, but it is nice to have people worry with you rather than think it’s all in the bag.
If we can’t vent about it here, where can we?
Well said OMD! 
- megboo Said:
Hey, I didn't say I loathed their support, but it is nice to have people worry with you rather than think it's all in the bag.
If we can't vent about it here, where can we?
If we can't vent about it here, where can we?
You can vent here all ya want & I am not accusing you of anything. I think you may have misunderstood what I was saying. I am just trying to elucidate upon their perspective - one that is well-intentioned, but lacks depth of understanding/exposure. Yes, the pressure they inadvertently create is very real & can be detrimental, if you allow it to be. I am merely suggesting that you re-evaluate how you receive their approbations so that you can capitolize on their energy & support instead of allowing it to become an increase to your level of burden.
All a matter of being sensitive to alternative perspectives. And, no cause to take offense...no one is chastising anyone here...simply trying to provide insight & advice.
Well I guess it’s better than for someone who got into medical school to go around bragging annoyingly about it 
I was pretty circumspect at the beginning of my courses. I’m taking chemistry to bolster my marketability in the biotech field. I’m taking bio and orgo towards a possible masters degree or something in the healthcare field, possibly medical informatics or (blah blah blah). This was all true in a “plan B” sense. Finally when I took the MCAT and did well, I was out of the closet. But I still kept a plan B or C lying around just in case–massage therapy, graduate degree in biology, etc.
My family went from ego-flattening skepticism to complete acceptance and pride in my accomplishments and I have no problem in them bragging to whomever they like! Enjoy the accolades while they last, folks. A few years from now we’ll be dealing with HMOs, non-compliant patients, diminished respect for the profession, and malpractice insurance and we’ll all look back on these early days with some nostalgia.
- OldManDave Said:
- megboo Said:
Hey, I didn't say I loathed their support, but it is nice to have people worry with you rather than think it's all in the bag.
If we can't vent about it here, where can we?
If we can't vent about it here, where can we?
You can vent here all ya want & I am not accusing you of anything. I think you may have misunderstood what I was saying. I am just trying to elucidate upon their perspective - one that is well-intentioned, but lacks depth of understanding/exposure. Yes, the pressure they inadvertently create is very real & can be detrimental, if you allow it to be. I am merely suggesting that you re-evaluate how you receive their approbations so that you can capitolize on their energy & support instead of allowing it to become an increase to your level of burden.
All a matter of being sensitive to alternative perspectives. And, no cause to take offense...no one is chastising anyone here...simply trying to provide insight & advice.
Touche, my friend.
OMD’s right, of course - the fact that it irks me speaks to my own insecurities rather than something negative about my family. That’s why I would never let on that it irks me. I just grumble in my mind… and on the internet.
The more the merrier!
I don’t have enough people bragging about me. Complaining, disappointed, upset, disillusioned…sure but not enough bragging! 
We can always count on this site for good perspective… thanks, all, for helping me improve mine.
- croooz Said:
The more the merrier!
I don't have enough people bragging about me. Complaining, disappointed, upset, disillusioned.......sure but not enough bragging!
I don't have enough people bragging about me. Complaining, disappointed, upset, disillusioned.......sure but not enough bragging!
I'll brag on ya Frank...as soon as I can figure out a reason to do so!!!!