Feeling very conflicted (kinda long)

Nontraditional Premed Discussion
1

I want to be a doc more than anything, but when I think of how hard it will be on my family I feel guilt for still wanting it. Here is what’s bothering me:

  • I hate my job, but I am the breadwinner and really have no choice but to work right now. Sparing you all the long explanation, I feel like I make no difference in the world at my job. I want to help people, somehow improve someone’s life. Instead I deal with red tape and coworkers who love to backstab people, plus I’m having moral doubts on the direction they want my research to go in. Even though I hate being there, I work very hard for my boss (who is great). I know if I stay there, I will have lots of opportunities to move up the chain. People think I’m crazy for even considering leaving this job. Also, by quitting for med school we lose our health insurance (can you get family health coverage through med school?).


    -My hubby agreed to consider me going to med school provided we can get loans to cover some of our living expenses while in school. Is it possible to get loans to replace part of your income while in med school? If you did get income replacement loans, would you have to start paying them during residency or could they be defered?


    -We have 2 beautiful kids (twins, will turn 3 in Nov) and I’m afraid that if I go the med school route I will not be there for them when they need me. How did you guys who are parents deal with this? I don’t want my happiness to come at the expense of my kids.


    I’ve always wanted to be a doctor but I never applied before due to low undergrad gpa (~2.9). I’m working on my M.S in chemistry now (gpa ~3.7, should complete in about a year) and I’m hoping that will make a difference and partially make up for such embarrasing grades in undergrad. At this point I’m planning to apply for the 2009 or 2010 school year.


    Have any of you felt guilt about wanting to be a doctor? If so, how did you come to terms with it? Sorry for the whining, I just had to get it out. I’ve had these concerns on my mind for weeks now. Any advice you guys could share would be great!
2

Hi Brawen - I’ll try and address a couple of your questions.

  • Brawen Said:
Also, by quitting for med school we lose our health insurance (can you get family health coverage through med school?).



This is probably school dependent. At my school, you can get family health coverage, but I have no idea how much it costs.

  • Quote:
-My hubby agreed to consider me going to med school provided we can get loans to cover some of our living expenses while in school. Is it possible to get loans to replace part of your income while in med school? If you did get income replacement loans, would you have to start paying them during residency or could they be defered?



Yes, you can borrow money for living expenses while in med school. It is assumed that you will not be able to work while in med school. Every school is required to put together a budget of expenses for their students. For example, say tuition and fees for one year are $25,000 and your school budgets living expenses at $18,000 (which seems to be about what is budgeted at schools here in Ohio). You would then be eligible to borrow up to $43,000 via federal or private loans. If you have a family, you can request a budget increase for things like child care. Some of my classmates with families are eligible for foodstamps and WIC.

As for paying your loans back - typically, you can request up to 36 months of "hardship" deferment on your loans during residency. Even if your residency is longer than that, you can choose a graduated repayment plan over 30 years, so that your payments are relatively low the first few years. Average salaries for first year residents seem to be in the $40 - 45,000 range, and they usually increase by a thousand or so a year.

  • Quote:
-We have 2 beautiful kids (twins, will turn 3 in Nov) and I'm afraid that if I go the med school route I will not be there for them when they need me. How did you guys who are parents deal with this? I don't want my happiness to come at the expense of my kids.



You will be gone a lot, no doubt. But, it's doable. I'm a relatively new parent, so I can't speak with a lot of authority, but you learn to make time for your family a priority. You promise that a certain time every day is for your kids and/or one day a week is totally devoted to family, and you stick to it. You may have to sacrifice getting the top grades in medical school in order to do so. I personally found myself being able to be a lot more focused with my studying after my daughter was born, because I knew my time was limited. I do a lot of my studying after she goes to bed for the evening and during naptime.

Hope that helps.
3

Lots of people in your situation are doing it, not that it’s easy but just to say it’s possible and do-able. Your spouse needs to be totally on board and willing to assume a lot of the child care duties or at least work a job that pays for child care. Health insurance plans often are available through school. Typically you would get a (federally subsidized, low interest) Stafford loan to cover tuition. On top of that you can get a substantial Graduate Plus loan to cover living expenses, though you are going to want to minimize borrowing and live on what you’ve got.


You needn’t feel guilty for yearning to do what you really want to. In the long term it will be better for your family if you’re happy. Best of luck,

4

Thanks for your replies Amy and Terry! It looks like I can cross a couple worries off the list now