My younger sister started her intern year in emergency medicine in June. As far as I know, she has been Q3 since she started.
I just spoke with her husband and apparently she is exhausted, depressed, despondent and angry. When she comes home she watches tv and drinks. On her day off she sleeps until 4:00 and then yells at him for leaving the house. He says they are fighting all the time. The depression and despondency is totally unlike her, as is the degree of anger.
Are there any interns out there that can tell me if there’s anything I can do to help her (or her husband) through this?
I am now terrified of going through this myself.
Skeeter -
I don’t have any particular advice for you, other than to recommend you try posting this on the “Emergency Medicine” forum on SDN. Lots of residents and attendings regularly post there and there are also a couple of program directors who post. Being on the inside, they might have some ideas of how you can get your sister some help. I.e. - maybe your husband could contact one of your sister’s fellow interns or her PD and express his concern and they could pursue helping her from the inside (without letting her know that he called them).
Let us know how it turns out.
- Skeeter Said:
My younger sister started her intern year in emergency medicine in June. As far as I know, she has been Q3 since she started.
I just spoke with her husband and apparently she is exhausted, depressed, despondent and angry. When she comes home she watches tv and drinks. On her day off she sleeps until 4:00 and then yells at him for leaving the house. He says they are fighting all the time. The depression and despondency is totally unlike her, as is the degree of anger.
Are there any interns out there that can tell me if there's anything I can do to help her (or her husband) through this?
I am now terrified of going through this myself.
Your sister has likely not faced this level of stress before. The important thing for her to do, is have a chat with her chief resident and perhaps her faculty advisor. Starting in a new hospital with a new level of responsiblity and long hours can be pretty un-nerving sometimes. Her chief resident (I have had more than one talk with my new interns) can give her some tips for efficiency and getting a handle on what's happening and her reaction to what is happening in her professional life.
Your sister needs to know that all interns feel like this to a certain degree but drinking and depression may be an extreme reaction. It is totally OK to get some help but she needs to speak up. How do the other interns feel? I am sure that they are just as stressed.If nothing else, she may be able to take a day or two off for some rest and thought-gathering. There is no pressure worse than the pressure that one puts upon ones self.
Natalie
- Skeeter Said:
My younger sister started her intern year in emergency medicine in June. As far as I know, she has been Q3 since she started.
I just spoke with her husband and apparently she is exhausted, depressed, despondent and angry. When she comes home she watches tv and drinks. On her day off she sleeps until 4:00 and then yells at him for leaving the house. He says they are fighting all the time. The depression and despondency is totally unlike her, as is the degree of anger.
Are there any interns out there that can tell me if there's anything I can do to help her (or her husband) through this?
I am now terrified of going through this myself.
Skeeter;
I am sorry to hear that your sister is going through this level of stress. Yes, all interns have approx this level of stress to cope with; however, some are better than others - or blissfully ignorant - at coping. It sounds as though she is definitely having coping-deficiency issues & has chosen a very dangerous way to treat - booze & anger.
I, myself, had issues coping with internship. The primary factor that impaired my capacity to cope was undiagnosed severe obstructive sleep apnea. When you compile years of severe OSA on top of the sleep deprivation of internship/residency - it is a recipe for disater. I placed my marriage severely on the rocks & was an absolute bastard for a year. Completing my surgical internship & starting anesthesia was a massive relief, but only partially ameliorated my issues. Only recently, 5~6 mos ago, did I finally admit to myself - Docs REALLY REALLY SUCK at this - I had a problem & needed help. CPAP has been a God-send!!
Now, I am iimplying that your sister needs CPAP, but I am saying that her situation is far far from unique. Furthermore, she needs help & probably will struggle seeing/admitting this to herself & others. And, trying to logically work her through things to "see the light" may only serve to piss her off...it did me.
Nat offers some superb advice. I woould like to add to this by suggesting that she read a book "The Medical Marriage" by Wayne & Mary Sotile & published by the AMA - sent me a copy for free. Reading this gave me unbelievable insight to the indiosynchrosies that make me "me". I swear the Sotile surreptitiously chronicled my life when writing this book. And, this book provided an objective perspective upon the sources of my internal conflict. I leanred a TON about me, how to cope with that myself & how to help others learn to cope with me. My wife read it too after my enthusiastic recoemmendation.
Best of luck & success! Keep us posted. This is potentially a serious situation.
- OldManDave Said:
Furthermore, she needs help & probably will struggle seeing/admitting this to herself & others. And, trying to logically work her through things to "see the light" may only serve to piss her off...it did me.
I agree wholeheartedly with Dave and with Nat. I think Nat's suggestions are excellent. The problem with people in this situation is that they think "no one can possibly understand what I am going through." This is why an intervention by you, or by her husband, is likely to fall on deaf ears, and why her chief resident or other person in her program needs to know that she is struggling. She is highly unlikely to take suggestions from non-medical people favorably but hopefully will be more receptive to help offered by those whom she perceives as understanding her plight.
This is a tough one for her husband. He is undoubtedly going to piss her off even worse by calling her chief but he should do it anyway. Her health and her career are at stake here and eventually she will appreciate the concern and the intervention. But he should understand that initially it may make things even more chilly.
Best of luck to you all.
Mary
I think the advice given so far has been very good, and right on target, and would certainly want to encourage you to get your sister whatever help she needs but…
I have to wonder about what her program is doing to it’s interns. Having just come off five weeks of Q4 call (30 hour shift every fourth day), it has taken me a full week of mere ten hour days and a weekend off to start feeling vaguely human again. I can not imagine how anyone who has been doing Q3 since June could possibly be anything but depressed, despondent, angry and exhausted. If her program is really doing that, then something is seriously wrong there, and if they are running that kind of schedule I wonder how receptive the chief resident, or anyone else in the program hierarchy, is going to be about her concerns. I would definitely talk to her first, to make sure you aren’t putting her in a bad situation. While most programs have good PDs and chief residents (or so I like to believe), if she is in one of the bad ones, you could be creating additional problems for her. Talk to her first hand. If you’re only hearing it from her husband, who has probably never lived with an intern before, he may be understandably alarmed at what is normal (for interns) behavior. Before taking drastic measures without her approval I’d investigate the situation a little more.
But that’s just the opinion of another tired, ocassionally angry, (although not yet despondent or depressed) intern.