I never really liked high school biology. I think it was the hardest class I had in high school. I hated the teacher, and I didn’t like fetal pigs, so based on that, I wrote off all biological sciences when I was 14. Fast forward to my sophomore year of college. I loved general biology in college. It was “too late” then, because I was already 2 yrs into engineering.
In a similar situation, I hated freshman g-chem at college. The professor was the kind who would cancel class on a whim b/c he wasn’t in the mood or spend the hour talking about whatever interesting thing he heard on the news that day. We all thought he was drunk most of the time. I had not yet learned how to teach myself material, so I never “got it” even though I had done well in high school chem. I got a B, but nothing ever made sense. I again wrote off chemistry as something I never wanted to do. Ever.
So, this time around I had an A in Cell Bio and have gotten a 99% and 100% on my two Chem 2 tests. And more than that, it makes sense. This makes me so mad. Where was my head 15 years ago? I had been a 4.0 student in high school, but my freshman GPA was low 3’s and I hated EVERYTHING I took. My jr-sr year of college GPA was 3.9. I don’t know what was up when I was a freshman. . .immaturity, psyching myself out, too much time with boys. So many freshman set the course of their lives when they have no clue what they’re doing. I think that’s part of why I wanted to be a professor. . .So I could grab these kids and set them straight!
Anyway, sorry for the rant. . .I came to the premed path because I felt my current professional life was a waste compared to my potential. When I was 18 I lost all my confidence in my ability, and I guess it is somewhat frustrating to find out that it was there all along. (I am happy I didn’t find out I was still “not getting” chemistry. That would be more frustrating, but I can’t help but kick myself for all the time I have wasted.)
Really, this post started out because I was excited that I understood chemistry now and no one at home seems to appreciate that excitement. . .I guess I didn’t realize I was carrying around so much regret. Good grief. Someone needs a vacation.
You can’t imagine how many times I have kicked myself for not taking premed as an undergraduate, saving myself from the purgatory of the next few years. But what can I say? The desire simply wasn’t there. It literally took a whole constellation of changes in circumstance and character over the space of 10 years for me to finally arrive at the place where I said “I should go to med school.” And without that, I never could have started the journey.
You can’t harvest fruit that isn’t ripe. But that’s okay – you’ll be a better doctor for it because your passion to practice medicine has had time to mature as well. After everything you will lay on the altar before becoming a doctor, you can’t help but cherish every day you are privileged to do that job.
At least, that’s the silver lining that I look at.
- hawkunit Said:
You can't harvest fruit that isn't ripe. But that's okay -- you'll be a better doctor for it because your passion to practice medicine has had time to mature as well. After everything you will lay on the altar before becoming a doctor, you can't help but cherish every day you are privileged to do that job.
At least, that's the silver lining that I look at.
I'll second that!
Hindsight is always 20/20. The saying is becoming more true every year. I am determined to not be looking back anymore and only forward. My guess is that everyone that visits this website is looking to correct past regrets.
I hear you! I like the advert that says “The best time to go to college was then, the second best time is now.”
However, I truly believe that I’ll make a better doctor in my 40’s than I would have in my early 30’s.
I agree with you! I failed Orgo 2 and so had to retake it, and the second time I took it I thought… this was it? It wasn’t that big, bad, overwhelming subject I thought it was in the first place. And I have yet to retake premed classes, but I thought that Chem 1 and 2 were really hard to understand, including the labs because I had to take them in my freshman year and didn’t know how to study for college classes.
I know that I will definitely be a better doctor in my 40s/50s than I ever would in my twenties. While I had the interest, I didn’t really have the motivation.
I always had part admiration of the young ones that always knew what they wanted to do in life…but yet, I think they also missed out on exploring life because at that time their heads were pretty much stuck in their books. I guess for them, I can understand their need for money and prestige because they lost out on a big portion of their young adult lives. Their goal was looking to the finish line…I think us nontrads, while having an eye on the finish line, are also enjoying looking at the view on the way there. As we hit different subjects along our route, we get that “ah ha” moments, which I think the majority of us look forward to.
As they say, “youth is wasted on the young,” and sometimes, I truly believe that.
Your rant within itself serves two excellent purposes, or rather shows at least to me a level of maturity and commitment that already a step or two ahead of most non-trads who start in this path.
First, while its is filled with regret (something which I have copious amounts of), I do not get any sense that this will prevent you from achieving the goal of becoming a doctor. There seems to be little, if any, FUD: fear, uncertainty and doubt. FUD plagues many non-trads.
Second, is the strong seeking out of people to share this with. Not any did you vent your frustrations but shared your joy of doing well now. Support is as vital as anything in this journey.
Good to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. . .
- Krisss17 Said:
You are probably right. I had the academic skills figured out by the time I was 20-21, but compassion is not something that has been in my emotional toolbox for very long. . .maybe just since last week.
I have also had a chance to work with people of all ages, from at least 15 different countries, from all socieconomic groups, which has changed my attitude about many things. When I was 21, the only person not like me that I knew was the graduate TA.
- gonnif Said:
First, while its is filled with regret (something which I have copious amounts of), I do not get any sense that this will prevent you from achieving the goal of becoming a doctor. There seems to be little, if any, FUD: fear, uncertainty and doubt. FUD plagues many non-trads.
Second, is the strong seeking out of people to share this with. Not any did you vent your frustrations but shared your joy of doing well now. Support is as vital as anything in this journey.
Thanks Richard. . .Maybe ranting is my special talent! Too bad Dennis Miller already has that market cornered.
I definitely appreciate all the support I find here on OPM.
I’m pretty sure a lot of us pooped the bed – at least a little bit – in undergrad. It seems like the prevailing OPM biography reads like, "I wanted to be a doctor when I was in college, but I wasn’t good at math, and I wasn’t very focused, " etc…
For me, Goldschlagger was > school. And to be frank, I’m glad a spent my college years in a Valhalla of decadence and hedonism : ) Sure, I could’ve done better, but I had some laughs, I traveled, I met tons of people (some worthwhile, some not so worthwhile.) Ultimately, instead of getting to where I wanted to be, I figured out WHO I wanted to be. And now that I know, I can go after it with myopic focus and determination. These are qualities that I simply did not posses when I was 19.
I echo the sentiment that I will be a much better doctor when I’m 33 than I could have ever been if I had taken the more traditional, straight-shot route. So, I guess I don’t really regret those wanton, “wasted” years at all.
Embrace the waste! : )
AliJ, I agree with you completely.
I had some similar experiences. I did poorly in the two science classes I took as an undergrad, and came out with the belief that all this science stuff just wasn’t for me. I graduated with a degree in English, with almost no idea of what I wanted to do with my life.
So, I floated around for a few years, until I was 26. One day, after a visit to the ER with a friend, I thought to myself, “Hey, I could do that. Not only would I love being a doctor, I would be great at it!” I came up with a plan on how I was going to get there and made the mistake of telling a friend my plan. She laughed at me, thought the idea was hilarious. I walked away with my tail between my legs, thinking that I was crazy to even imagine such a fate for myself.
Shortly thereafter, I met my husband, and we went traveling. We lived in a third world country and I watched an acquaintance die of cancer…at 29 years old, barely older than I was at the time. She had received absolutely no treatment, not even any palliative care at the end. Then, I watched her husband grieve for the loss of his young wife and the destruction of the dreams they shared for the life they were supposed to live together. I said to my husband, “That’s not fair.” I began to dream of myself as a doctor, working to save lives like hers, to prevent men from becoming widowers in their early 30s. It took some time for the dream to really take hold, but here I am - almost done with my prereqs. Studying for the MCAT. Taking upper division science classes to make myself a competitive applicant. Volunteering, working on my ECs, doing the best I can. I have people around me who support my decision and a husband who believes in me and supports this journey because he knows that this is my calling.
Overall, I’m thankful for the challenges and experiences I’ve had. All of those things were necessary for me to appreciate just how great my life is now. I am focused, motivated, and I don’t get wrapped up in silly things that would undermine my success. I’m so happy to be doing what I’m doing: going to class, studying, trying to make it all worth as a mother, wife, and student. Every time I have those woulda/shoulda/coulda thoughts about being a premed as an undergrad, that I’d already be practicing if I’d done that, I also think of all the great things I might have missed out on, great things that helped me become the person I am now.
So, to all those naysayers that I (and most of you) have met along the way, I say “be gone. You are of no use to me now.”
I find it so funny that some of you are regretting not taking pre-med in college, when my biggest regret is that I DID pursue it when I definitely wasn’t ready for for it. I’m looking over my UG transcripts as I apply now, and all I can think is, “I got an F and a C in chem my freshman year, and I kept going? What was I (and my adviser) thinking?!” By taking more than 2 years of pre-meds I became ineligible for post-baccs after graduation, and now I’m cursed with a uGPA that only 40 more credits of A’s could remedy. :eyeroll:
The pre-med sciences really aren’t that difficult, but doing well requires rock-solid study skills and determination. Yes, it’s much more difficult to juggle pre-meds with work and mortgages, but we’re adults now and have a much better understanding of how hard we need to work to get those A’s. So it’s fortunate you’ve waited until you’re a mature adult to tackle this coursework, you have a definite advantage!
Good point! The only thing I can think of that would be worse than trying to dig myself out of a 2.5 hole would be if that 2.5 was in science/prereqs. At least I can distance myself from the old grades and have a relatively high sGPA.
Appreciate the positive spin. Still, I think my wife would have appreciated me doing all this before we had a mortgage, kid, etc… I just don’t think I could have done it without the growth that came through those experiences.