LOR Writer Loves me but no Letter !

I have a clinical Volunteer Coordinator who says she loves me and thinks I’m terrific and everyone else loves me, would be more than happy to write a Committee Letter, etc but I have yet to see the letter. I have been asking her and politely following up since JULY and still no letter. I have given her envelopes, extra stamps (I know, like she was going to need them, but you know … ) even a pretty thank you card from our local art museum. I have done everything but write it myself and put it in the bloody envelope. (Ok, I am mad.)
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I was thinking of just going to the Social Worker in the dept and asking her if she would be willing to write one since she seemed much more responsive and reliable, plus she liked me. It’s not her job tho so I feel weird. But the Coordinator, who’s job it IS, is completely flaking out on me.
My premed advisor said that this letter could potentially be very helpful since it is an ER and a year’s worth of valuable clinical experience. What do people suggest I do? I’m still stunned that she is being like this, considering I WAS a good volunteer. I find it hard to believe that someone would stiff me out of such an important document.
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Have other people really wrestled with these demon LOR writers and actually won? I have two professors I have given up on because they are a thousand years old and can’t be bothered to actually write the evalautions. That’s their reputation at the school tho so I can’t change their history. But this woman I just can’t explain or understand …

Woolie,
My LOR people did their letters promptly, but I can understand your frustration…you need those letters written and delivered (to wherever you’re gathering them — i.e. premed committee).
My 2 cent recommendation here, so take it with a grain of salt: your volunteer corrdinator might not realize the formality of the recommendation and application process. So “formalize” it for her! By this I mean send her a formal, 1-2 page curriculum vitae and a cover letter stating your general abilities, goals, how much you’ve valued and learned by volunteering there, etc. Mail it (maybe even certified) instead of handing it to her in the hall or dropping it off at her office. (A formally presented letter like this carries more weight). And give her a DEADLINE in your cover letter…this letter must be received by such ‘n’ such a date at this ‘n’ that address.
My CV has the following:
-my current academic & professional goals
-my post-bacc work, w/GPA and the research study I did
-former education, degrees, GPAs, etc
-professional experiences
-medical & psychological conferences attended
-volunteer experiences
-medically related certifications
-medically related memberships, such as board memberships and associations… (you can list OPMs here!)
It is one page long, front and back. I gave each of my recommending people a copy of that and a copy of my essay, plus the envelopes and stamps, when I met with them. I also gave them a deadline (that was actually about 1-2 months BEFORE the actual deadline) just in case someone was busy or procrastinating. It worked…all my letters were in quickly.
Don’t worry if you don’t have lots of work on your CV, but chances are you’ve done more than you think. And it’s worth keeping track of! We’ll all need this info available for med school and residency apps.
Good luck with this…let us know how it goes!

I would follow Mary's advice if you haven't already. A specific due date can be helpful.
It's possible, though, that she will just flake-out on you. It happenend to me once before when applying for a grad program when we moved back to Texas. The prof who taught most of my undergrad speech therapy courses happily agreed to write a letter for me. He then proceeded to ignore my follow-up emails and messages and never sent in the letter. My other 3 prof's and advisor were more than happy to write them for me. I never found out why he turned into a jerk.
That being said, is there someone else in that program who can write a letter for you and vouch for your excellent qualities? Pursue both your intended writer and an alternate. This is too important to count on someone who may let you down.
good luck!
Theresa

I have actually been in this position. It is very frustrating, but please understand, her procrastination does not mean that there is any problem with you. It is her problem and she need help to get through it. I would try to meet her causally at first and mention that you are becoming concerned about the letter because X, Y, and Z. Tell her that you are sure that she is under a lot of stress and deadlines and that you know that at the end of the day it must be difficult to get to writing that letter, but (again gently) you really need this help. Like the previous posters above mentioned, give her formal information about yourself such as a C.V. In addition, write and essay about your experiences in the ER. Write it in story form so that she will pick up your essay and want to read it. As a procrastinator, you will have helped her through a hurdle by offering an easy place for her to begin. When you are handing her this, mention that you really appreciate this and would love to help in anyway. Would she feel more comfortable getting to know you better during a lunch or break? (you are offering to spring for lunch) At this point you really have nothing to loose so pull out all of the “salesman” stops and help her in anyway you can. You will not only stimulate her desire to help but also her feelings of guilt, a dangerously effective double whammy. wink.gif

Write it for her and ask her to sign it. I know, I thought it was strange at first too, but when I started asking important folks in hospital adminstration, they asked me for a draft. I had a friend of mine write it, because I couldn't write that sort of stuff about myself. Then I gave it to the person I needed the letter from and they signed it.
Your letter writer may just be too busy! Help her out.
DRD

QUOTE (drd @ Mar 7 2003, 05:06 PM)
Write it for her and ask her to sign it. I know, I thought it was strange at first too, but when I started asking important folks in hospital adminstration, they asked me for a draft. I had a friend of mine write it, because I couldn't write that sort of stuff about myself. Then I gave it to the person I needed the letter from and they signed it.
Your letter writer may just be too busy! Help her out.
DRD

Before too many of you dash off to write your own recommendation letters, let me warn you that Admissions Committee have a very sharp eye for this sort of thing. It may get by one or two or three schools, HOWEVER, all you need is for one school to suspect that you/a friend wrote this and had the letter writer sign it. When that happens, it almost always generates an Irregularity Report to AMCAS. And then eventually AMCAS lets EVERY school that is considering your application know that there is a problem. And they send a copy of their letter to you regarding the issue, and your response to them, out to ALL of the schools to which you have applied. You wouldn't believe how fast your application can be "moved aside." Or, worse, an acceptance rescinded. I've seen it happen.
Bottom line. Do NOT let anyone, professor or otherwise, talk you into writing your own letter. You never know who might be reading it and saying to the committee, "Hey, Prof. XXX is a dear friend and s/he doesn't write like this. Let me make a phone call."
A word to the wise!
Cheers,
Judy

To add to my reply (above)…
You would also be surprised at how many “friends” tattle to med school admissions offices when they are aware of an applicant’s transgressions. Most tattle it anonymously and therefore it doesn’t generate much action. But some are up front with details and are okay with being contacted about the problem. Food for thought.
Cheers,
Judy

Judy
Perhaps you misunderstood the post of DrD. I do not take her post as a suggestion to “Write a letter of recommendation for yourself.” I believe DrD is suggesting that one create a draft within which the intended writer would fill in the necessary blanks and or voids. This letter would ease the time and efforts of the letter writer making it easier for them to fulfill their promise to do such. It is not a method to curtail the process. It is a means to an end in expediting the process. As a student of medicine, I utilized this very idea at the suggestion of 2 doctors. One of the 2 accepted my “Outline” and did exactly what was needed to tailor it to their style and desire. Much of the time and effort was spent by me in creating the document. The doctor simply touched it up to meet their needs.
I understand that you make your living from working with and for those desiring entrance to the medical field. I also understand that you have many years of experience in the admissions/processing and pre-med advising. With all of this experience, I would like to ask you what makes you think that a person would ask an applicant to create a letter of recommendation just to set them up to be caught doing so. Another thought, why would ones peers “Tattle-tail” on them? If you have seen this in person, can you inform me what the individual would gain by doing so? If you feel the peer would do so to get a leg up on the competition, I would suggest keeping this bit of information between the applicant and the writer of the document. That ends the tattle-tail issue.
Please, fill us in? With your years of experience, perhaps you are the only one to see the flaws in aiding an intended writer. Again, I may have misunderstood your posts as I feel you have misunderstood DrD’s. As I am certain you will, correct me if I am wrong.
Thank you for your time and effort.
Dr. X

QUOTE (Dr Xavier @ Mar 11 2003, 11:13 PM)
Judy
Perhaps you misunderstood the post of DrD. I do not take her post as a suggestion to "Write a letter of recommendation for yourself." I believe DrD is suggesting that one create a draft within which the intended writer would fill in the necessary blanks and or voids. This letter would ease the time and efforts of the letter writer making it easier for them to fulfill their promise to do such. It is not a method to curtail the process. It is a means to an end in expediting the process. As a student of medicine, I utilized this very idea at the suggestion of 2 doctors. One of the 2 accepted my "Outline" and did exactly what was needed to tailor it to their style and desire. Much of the time and effort was spent by me in creating the document. The doctor simply touched it up to meet their needs.
I understand that you make your living from working with and for those desiring entrance to the medical field. I also understand that you have many years of experience in the admissions/processing and pre-med advising. With all of this experience, I would like to ask you what makes you think that a person would ask an applicant to create a letter of recommendation just to set them up to be caught doing so. Another thought, why would ones peers "Tattle-tail" on them? If you have seen this in person, can you inform me what the individual would gain by doing so? If you feel the peer would do so to get a leg up on the competition, I would suggest keeping this bit of information between the applicant and the writer of the document. That ends the tattle-tail issue.
Please, fill us in? With your years of experience, perhaps you are the only one to see the flaws in aiding an intended writer. Again, I may have misunderstood your posts as I feel you have misunderstood DrD's. As I am certain you will, correct me if I am wrong.
Thank you for your time and effort.
Dr. X

Dr. X,
Gosh, DrD's comment of "write it for her and ask her to sign it" sounds pretty clear to me.
Obviously you and I are not in agreement about how appropriate it is for an applicant to self-create an "outline" whereby the recommender only has to "touch it up a bit" (whatever that means) to finish the job for a recommendation letter. I do think it's appropriate, as OMD has suggested somewhere here, to give a recommender your personal statement and a CV or resume.
I don't believe that a recommender consciously and manipulatively "sets-up" an applicant to be caught with a letter that is more the applicant's work than that of the recommender. But letter writers can be naive about the process and by their suggestion of "you write it, I'll sign it" (and this happens), s/he unwittingly sets in motion a chain of events that can have unfortunate consequences. Additionally, the ethics of a applicant who feels that it is appropriate to write his/her own letter leaves something to be desired, imho.
And why would a peer tattletale? Good question. Jealousy? Spite? I don't know. But it happens. And the "friend" often isn't an applicant.
Cheers,
Judy

Xavier, thanks for sticking up for me. Who are you anyway?
May I first say, I was wrong to suggest that anyone prompt their writer to let said applicant write for them. Woolie seemed frustrated and it was a half-hearted suggestion made on my part without clearly thinking it through. My writer asked me to do it. Truth be known, I was told this is a very common practice when I questioned my colleagues on the matter.
That having been said, first, getting a letter from the person I got it from was an act of God in itself because it doesn't happen to just anyone. Second, my person is very very very busy. I wasn't tempted to do it and it doesn't say anything demoralizing about me or my ethics.
Sorry for the confusion Woolie, be patient and persistent and you will prevail. Blankets statements about my ethics forgiven, let's move on, shall we?
DRD

Dr. D
You are more than welcome. In truth, coming to your defense was more of an outlet on my own behalf. You may not be entirely right in your suggestion but you were not entirely incorrect either. I support your actions as you were requested. My situation was similar. I feel my ethics are sound and beyond contest. Again, You are welcome.
I must make an apology to the group. Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. I have been lurking in shadow, if you will. Having just joined, I have read virtually every recent post and page that my limited mind could envelope. This is a wonderful resource for any and all will-be med students.
I will introduce myself in the proper forum. For now, let me thank each of you for allowing me to join you.
Thank you again.
Dr. Xavier