Marriage and Careers

Well the Ugly Spouse control issue has shown it’s head again.

A new nurse at the Hospital was planning to resign but did not want to, she confided in Me that her second Husband of just 2 years has now demanded she quit and stay home, “God Has blessed them with money so that she can do this”. She has worked hard to become a Nurse (RN) and feels this is important to her and part of who she is. She decieded of maybe holding the resignation back today, all I could say was to look into her heart and think about it, I told her that she needs to be happy with what she wants to do with her life and if leaving work is not something that she really wants to do then years later this may become a bigger problem between them, go home and talk it over more. Tomorrow she will know the right thing to do.

I do not get this, guess I never will, I did not marry my wife to tell her what to do, what ever she wants to do that makes her happy ( legally of course LOL) is fine with me, I love her and if she wanted to work at Wal Mart or go to medical school I would support it. I thought that was what marriage was about? Supporting each other and being the other’s best friend, not a situation where one tells the other what to do.

Oh! Whew! For a moment I thought you were going to give a lesson on how to control an ugly spouse.

Seriously, though, I couldn’t agree more. What a lousy position to be in…choosing between a highly desired career and her family (…for better or worse?). Sounds like RN has invested a lot in both, so it’s sad she has to choose which she’d be least disappointed to lose.

You’re right, though. I am disgusted with how many people go into marriage with no intention of respecting the partner’s individuality.

Marriage, at least in the eyes of my wife & myself, is about being equal partners. Realistically, it cannot be 50/50 at all times because marriage is also about supporting one another in times of need. So, for periods of time it may be 80/20 or even 100/0. But, over the duration, it should work out in the wash.

Marriage should never be seen or abused as a dictatorial relationship - again, only my opinion. It just is not about exercising control over someone. However, I must call into question - did RN not ‘see’ that this cat had the potential to evolve into a dictator? Relationships are always 2-way streets…even the worst ones.