Martha Stewart Resigns

Martha resigned from the NY Stock Exchange Board. How fitting.

She got her resignation in only minutes before they voted to boot her greedy a$$ off the board. It helped her save face.

After IMClone’s CEO pleaded guilty, we’re getting closer to having Martha making nice bread pudding out of the bread and water she’ll be getting in prison.
“First, I saved all my water in my water-proofed make-up bag I stitched together with thread I liberated from pillow cases while working in the laundry room. Then through a special still I made out of flexi-straws from the prison cafeteria, and 28 pieces of bubble gum, some lighter fluid I worked out a trade with a prison guard for, some Sterno, and a Chong Bong carburetor I also traded some favors for, I was able to ferment my water. Then, I traded some more favors to get a job in the prison kitchen, where I was able to use the oven and prepare this nice White Collar Crime Bread Pudding. Isn’t that lovely?”

Thanks! I needed that!

You know… while INCREDIBLY funny… it’s not actually all that far off??? Even good ol’ Martha would learn something from the inventive inmates!! I worked in a county jail for a few months (before getting offered the job at the beach) and those crooks are DARNED impressive and innovative!
When i left, some inmates in the women’s jail made a “Goodbye Card” for me (I helped quite a few of them get thru their math requirements for their GED… and along with just treating them like humans, they were pretty darned grateful… kind of a sad statement really). ANYWAY, they cut bits of colored paper from magazines, dissolved them in water, and made “paints” to color the front of the card. Using many many layers of floor wax they “laminated” it. Then used their letter writing supplies to write personal notes and folded them into the card.
Martha has some pretty amazing ideas for thank-you notes, but I’m pretty positive the inmates are still one up on her!