I am a 35 year old man, who is returning to undergraduate school in January to finish my biology degree. Recently, I had a “if I could go back…” moment, and realized that maybe my youthful ambition of becoming a doctor is not yet out of reach.
I am divorced, with 3 kids from my first marriage that I see every other weekend and most holidays, and engaged to be married next month. My kids are 16, 11, and 4.
I spoke to a practicing neurologist, and his opinion is that this is a bad idea, for the following reasons:
Every year there is a new layer of regulation that makes it harder to do his job (HIPAA, CMS, etc.).
His practice pays about $40K per year in malpractice insurance.
I will never see my kids.
Most likely I will get divorced again.
I will likely be 60 years old before I pay off my school loans (he estimated $300 - $400K).
Obviously this has me discouraged. He suggested I find a PA program, which I guess is a better option considering all of the reasons above, but I just can’t help but think that I will regret not going for it now.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance for your replies.
25 years from now you are going to be 60. That, sir, is an absolute and inevitable fact.
Now ask yourself, when you are 60 would you rather be doing something along the lines of what you are doing now, would you rather be a PA, or would you rather be an MD/DO?
Yes you may get divorced again, yes you may have to pay 60K in malpractice every year, yes you may have to repay loans until you’re 60. But by the same token, the probability that you may not get divorced again, you pay off your loans before 50, and pay less than 30k in malpractice is a non-zero and non-negligible amount.
Essentially what I am saying is that, to quote Henley, only YOU are the master of your fate, captain of your soul. How you live your life and what you do with it is up to you. Don’t let people sway your decision making process.
Follow your dreams and everything generally falls into place - the mountains become molehills, the seas become brooks, and the deserts become fields.
Well hell I am going to be paying back my student loans AFTER I retire, so what’s his point?
Seriously, you should certainly consider your alternatives carefully. If any of them look pretty appealing, I’d suggest you go for it - because medicine is a hugely painful pursuit that will cost you a lot of time and money. On the other hand, if you just can’t see yourself doing anything else, you are going to find it a truly rewarding and exciting career.
Since you’re not just considering medicine, but also contemplating marriage in the near future, you need to be REALLY open in communicating with your intended /spouse about your plans. This is a group project. Both of you absolutely, positively must be committed to this if you decide to do it.
I love what I do. I guess I could’ve come up with a Plan B if I’d had to, but I am sure glad that I didn’t, because I can’t imagine doing anything more rewarding and fun.
ditto what the others have said, and also my 2 cents’ worth: as my premed advisor told us at Harvard Extension School, if three doctors haven’t told you you’re crazy for going into medicine, you haven’t been talking to enough doctors. So you need to talk to some more docs.
My impression is that traditional path physicians picked medicine as an academic pursuit while older/nontrad physicians picked it as a profession. Or maybe one could say that they grow into the profession while we simply enter the profession as previous professionals from other fields.
You’re unlikely to have the same experience as your neurologist friend (I’m assuming that he’s a traditional path physician who started at age 22). You’re going in with your eyes open, mature, personality fully developed, and excited about pursuing a lifelong dream that you’ve been dreaming perhaps longer than this neurologist has been alive. That’s got to be some kind of excitement and motivation.
I say, shadow some docs, do some volunteer work at a couple of hospitals to get your toes wet and talk to absolutely everyone you meet–docs, nurses, pharmacists, PAs, transport orderlies–and get the whole picture. Then you can make an educated decision. Meantime, why not take a couple of courses and see how you like being a student again? Most importantly, as Mary points out, get sign-off from your future spouse (and maybe even from your ex). Best of luck and keep us posted,
if three doctors haven't told you you're crazy for going into medicine, you haven't been talking to enough doctors. So you need to talk to some more docs.
Exactly!
Definitely have to count the cost but like Dazed posted you will be 60 either way.....so what do you want to be at 60? A doctor, a PA, happily married, divorces, in debt, debt-free...... BTW 4 of those are under your control and 2 are not.
Since most of us are older and have already spent some time in our current profession, let’s turn the tables and take a look at this from another perspective.
I’ve been in the communications game for 20 years. I’m now finding myself in the position of advising other young folks who want to enter this career path. I have to be more mindful of what I say because I believe the good things take care of themselves, it’s the “bad” that you have to really be able to deal with. If you can handle the worst that my profession has to offer (job instability with no quantitative measurement of your performance…hence the job instability), then go for it.
I think we are running into the same thing when we talk to docs. They’ve had enough experience with the “bad” so that is skewing their perspective.
Personally, I’d rather have people piss in my bowl of Wheaties on these kinds of things. It’s the ones who say, “Oh yeah! You’ll do fine. It’s lots of fun and isn’t that hard.”, who worry me.
I’m impressed by the wisdom and responsiveness of this forum.
Thank you all for your responses. I think I will heed all of your advice and keep my options open for now. I think it will take a minimum of 2 years to complete my undergrad, so I will just stay the premed course, prepare for the MCAT, continue to seek advice, and see what happens.
I’ll keep in touch as I make progress. I’m sure I will need much more help as I proceed.
If you don’t mind, I would like to share my two cents with you. Since you are a family man, as much as I want to tell you that this is your life and your dream, you have to talk it over with your family first. If your family is okay with you going to medical school, then you should go.
Also, how long has it been since you worked on any pre-med courses? I ask because many medical schools only take pre-requisites from so many years ago.
That said, I wish you best of luck w/ your journey. Its going to be a long, stressful, and challenging one but in the end hopefully it will be a promising one as well.
25 years from now you are going to be 60. That, sir, is an absolute and inevitable fact.
Now ask yourself, when you are 60 would you rather be doing something along the lines of what you are doing now, would you rather be a PA, or would you rather be an MD/DO?
Yes you may get divorced again, yes you may have to pay 60K in malpractice every year, yes you may have to repay loans until you're 60. But by the same token, the probability that you may not get divorced again, you pay off your loans before 50, and pay less than 30k in malpractice is a non-zero and non-negligible amount.
Essentially what I am saying is that, to quote Henley, only YOU are the master of your fate, captain of your soul. How you live your life and what you do with it is up to you. Don't let people sway your decision making process.
Follow your dreams and everything generally falls into place - the mountains become molehills, the seas become brooks, and the deserts become fields.
I spoke to a practicing neurologist, and his opinion is that this is a bad idea, for the following reasons:
5. I will likely be 60 years old before I pay off my school loans (he estimated $300 - $400K).
Obviously this has me discouraged.
Before I address that particular comment, let me say "Welcome". This is a big family, and we always welcome new members.
You have already read the comments of several of our members, and to them all, I say "Ditto!"
Okay, now on to the quote above. Out of all the reasons he gave you, this one applies so directly to me that I had to comment. My loans will be about $300K or so when I finish med school. And by the time I finish residency, I will be 61. So I have to repay all those loans as I gracefully age (well, at least I hope it's gracefully). So what?!
Becoming a physician is something that is so ingrained into my very being that there is no way I would ever give up on completing this journey. I remember one of the doctors I did research with describing it as "a fire in the belly of the beast that cannot be quenched." I think he was absolutely right!
You can find many doctors who say they would not go through this all again. But, I think if you were to really ask around, you would find a great number who say what my primary care provider said when I asked him that question. He told me, "There are times I have asked myself that question, and the answer I always come up with is that I can't imagine doing anything else."
If the feeling you have now is one so deep that you can't imagine being happy without at least trying to fulfill your dream, then talk it over with your loved ones and proceed on whichever road you choose. Best of luck as you face the marathon ahead of you!
