Hi, everyone! I apologize in advance for the long rant and appreciate any help and feedback I may get. I’m 24 years old and currently in an accelerated BSN-RN nursing program (16 months- I finish this August). I previously graduated with a Biology major and a minor in Chemistry. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do as a profession (my family pushed me to go to dental school my entire life, so that’s what I naturally gravitated towards. I realized freshman year of college that I really disliked dentistry after shadowing multiple dentists and working in a dental office). One thing I always knew was that I loved medicine, and I loved helping others (as cliche as it sounds but I grew up being in and out of hospitals so that’s where it’s stemmed from). I found out about the PA profession and decided to go for that since I never thought I would be able to get into medical school (lack of confidence, "not smart enough, etc.). My senior year was kind of a mess and I kept going back and forth between different professions until I ultimately decided that I wanted to give medical school a shot, after the head of the pre-med committee convinced me that I could do it. I purchased one of those absurdly expensive prep courses and studied for roughly 5 months with a tutor. Doing practice exams (the test prep company’s and AAMC’s exams) I would score around a 508. Something ended up happening and I had to reschedule my exam, about a month or so further. When I took the exam I absolutely bombed it and got in the high 490’s. I’m not sure if it’s because I pushed the date, got lazy, stopped studying as hard, or just had horrible testing anxiety. After I saw that grade I thought, well, I’m a complete idiot and I can’t even believe I thought I was good enough to be a doctor. I completely gave up that dream (looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself and retaken the exam). I then went back to the PA route thought, but also found out that I could do an accelerated nursing program and then go through an NP program. I thought about switching majors to nursing in undergrad but wasn’t able to. I’ve realized that I’m not happy in nursing school, and I don’t think I will ever feel fulfilled as an NP. When I’m at my clinicals, I always gravitate towards the physicians and what they’re saying about the patient. By no means am I saying that I think doctors are better than nurses, or whatever else someone might come up with. I think nursing is an AMAZING profession, and being in nursing school has taught me so much and I have the ultimate respect for nurses, as well as NPs.I just really miss the medical model and medicine. And medical school has continued to be on my mind this entire time. I’m feeling so lost and don’t know what to do. I really want to graduate, take the NCLEX, start working as a nurse but also start studying for the MCAT and try to actually apply this time around. I’m afraid that admissions will look at my application and think I’m an utter mess or heavily question my reasoning for wanting to go to medical school. I looked at past posts on here and people are saying to read someone named Mary Riley Renard’s posts, which may have been deleted (I can’t seem to find them). Other than that, I’m trying to figure out what else would strengthen my application and kind of put everything together.
Side note- I have a friend who dropped out of dental school her third year and decided she wanted to pursue medical school. She just got accepted into an amazing school, and she is the one who has inspired me throughout this and made me think it’s somewhat possible. A few others are supportive, but nursing peers and professors think I’m betraying the field, “going to the dark side,” etc. If you have ANY word of advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Kudos if you’ve gotten this far. Thank you again!