Pet Diaries

I don’t know if this had been posted here as of yet, but it gave me a chuckle.
> 8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> 9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
> 9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
> 10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
> 11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
> 1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
> 4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
> 5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> 5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Yum! My favorite!
> 6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
> 6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!
> Day 183 Of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. . . must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, to try and strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” …must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait…it is only a matter of time…

This one is really cute! Thanks for making me laugh today.

As apparently a minority as a cat owner and lover, I have always LOVED this!!

These were so funny. Although I would have added to the dog one. going out, my favorite thing, going in, my favorite thing, going out, my favorite thing, etc about 50 times a day.