pre-med/med student jokes

What do you call 2 med students examining an EKG?

A double-blind study

Med student to patient: "Well, Mr Smith, I’m afraid you’re not quite as sick as we’d hoped."

Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Med Student: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be 80.

Patient: But I am 80 right now.

Med Student: See, what did I tell you.

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. “Boss,” he said, “The pill actually worked!”

“That’s all fine” said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?"

What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

First day of class, the professor decides to try and get to know his new students and their motivation for taking his class. He goes round the room asking each student individually:

Professor to first student "Hello, why don’t you tell us your major, and what your motivation for taking my class is"

student 1: "I’m an english major and I am just taking this class as part of my general science requirements."

The professor turns to the next student "and how about you?"

student 2: "I’m a chemistry major and I just love chemistry.“

the professor smiles and turns to the third student, who happens to be a pre-med

"And what about you?” the professor asks, still smiling.

The pre-med frowns “Does my answer make part of my grade?”