Alright guys, I need some major advice here. I am interviewing at DMU on May 6, 6 1/2 months pregnant (and quite obvious already, this being my third child). I really don’t want to give up this opportunity. However, they are going to know without a doubt that I will NOT be able to start school on August 7, since I will be having the baby via cesarean July 21 (due date is the 28th). I already know that I want to delay matriculation for one year in the event that I am accepted. Do I tell them this outright? If I do, will they just say, well, then reapply next year? I don’t want to reapply if I don’t have to. Right now I am waitlisted at U of I, and I know I would be happy at either school, for different reasons.
I’m afraid to call down and talk to the admissions people before hand, because I don’t want to scar my application before I even go for the interview. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.
Thanks,
Angie
Well…Telling them you want to delay a year will be a problem. I guess you would have to think they have 100’s of applicants who can attend without any delaying during their studies. I also think that this may show you having potential
personal conflicts with attending Medical School.
Getting in is about you and all of you, not just your grades and MCAT, that is why they interview.
Just some thoughts. Bill
Quote:
Alright guys, I need some major advice here. I am interviewing at DMU on May 6, 6 1/2 months pregnant (and quite obvious already, this being my third child). I really don’t want to give up this opportunity. However, they are going to know without a doubt that I will NOT be able to start school on August 7, since I will be having the baby via cesarean July 21 (due date is the 28th). I already know that I want to delay matriculation for one year in the event that I am accepted. Do I tell them this outright? If I do, will they just say, well, then reapply next year? I don’t want to reapply if I don’t have to. Right now I am waitlisted at U of I, and I know I would be happy at either school, for different reasons.
I’m afraid to call down and talk to the admissions people before hand, because I don’t want to scar my application before I even go for the interview. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.
Thanks,
Angie
Hi Angie,
You should not mention anything about an deferrment unless you are offered admission by letter. They should not even ask anything about your pregnancy as this is not a appropriate topic for an admission’s interview. Should this come up, smile sweetly, thank them for their inquiry and say that the pregnancy is going very well and that you are very healthy. Then change the subject. Rehearse something so that you can move onto another subject such as, “Your question reminds me, What resources do you have for students who have families? Are their any support groups for married students?” etc. A wise interviewer won’t ask you anything about the pregnancy in the first place.
Just dress professionally, walk with your head up high and DON’T answer any questions about your due date or delivery. This also includes answering your fellow interviewee’s questions too. No interviewer can tell when you are due just by looking at you so you should make sure that this does not impact on their decision one way or another. Again, what you decide to do once you have been offered admission is your own business.
Good luck and congratulations again on the baby!!!
Natalie
Thank you both, this helps.
Bill: It really isn’t a matter of personal conflicts interrupting my studies, it is more a matter of fact…major abdominal surgery and an infant that needs to eat every 2 hours around the clock doesn’t coincide with doing well in med school, regardless of motivation or abilities. I would rather delay my studies a year and do well, then fail in both my studies and my duties as a mother. I didn’t plan this pregnancy, it came up post-application. (and yes, I have heard all the jokes by now, I do know where babies come from) Now I have to make the best choices for both my family and my professional life.
Natalie:
Thanks for the suggestions on how to handle the situation. I was really struggling with it, but what you said helped me to understand the important issues here. I don’t want the interview to end up centering around my pregnancy, but around who I am as an applicant. It is really a good point to not discuss the details with the other interviewees, too.
Wow, I can’t tell you how much better I feel about this. I was so concerned about an interrogation about the pregnancy, that I lost sight of what the interview is actually about. Thanks for helping me to see that before I actually get there. I am really hopeful that this interview will go well. I think I would be quite happy in Des Moines.
Thanks,
Angie
Angie, you might want to do a search to find our previous discussions about illegal interview questions, because a lot of the comments in that thread would definitely be helpful to you right now. You’ve spent a good portion of this pregnancy, as well as your previous experiences, cheerfully giving an answer when people say “Congratulations! When’s the baby due?” What you need to start doing NOW is practicing a vague answer, “Oh, early summer,” for example.
I got practice with this when I was pregnant with my third, because my second baby had been born 17 days late 
No way was I giving the real due date because I feared then hearing “You’re still here?!” for weeks! (baby #3 was ONLY 12 days late, I think she was born right around the date I kinda-sorta hinted at to relatives)
Seriously, it would feel weird and probably come across weird to refuse to answer or evade the question, so you want a real answer that doesn’t actually pin you down in any way. And definitely practice your quick segue to discussing your application and the school. This is definitely a situation where you would be well-served by role-playing or rehearsing.
Congratulations!
Mary
whose baby #3 graduates from high school in June…
Angie, I was Just worried about what the interviewers would think. I don’t know you, but I know it’s been a tough road to where you are and I know you can do well in medical school even with a new baby. Natalie is right they can’t discriminate against you. Bill
By the way I agree with Natalie and Mary
Hi Angie,
I got pregnant during the interview cycle also, but luckily after I had interviewed. There was a distinct possibility that I was going to have to reapply and interview while quite pregnant, so I worried about these same issues.
I have to agree with Natalie. They shouldn’t ask - although they almost certainly will. If they ask when you’re due - give a vague answer like “summer”. Try to avoid asking for a deferrment until you know you are already accepted. I definitely wouldn’t say anything about a c-section.
By the way, congratulations on getting the interview! I’m glad they came through after all!
P.S. I found some places online to rent maternity suits. Much cheaper than buying! I could probably find it again if you can’t find it and are interested.
P.P.S. I ended up getting my acceptance in May (I was due October) and I didn’t tell them I was pregnant until I had the letter in my hand. Then they let me defer. However, I know it’s a different story when you’re interviewing pregnant. Best of luck. Have you tried asking about this on MomMD?
Pam
Thank you all for your replies. You have all given such great advice. All that you have said has really put my mind at ease about the interview. I know it is still a sticky situation, but at least I now feel like I have some good tools to go in with. I’m thinking my answer to the “when are you due” question will go something like, “soon, this summer!” Then, like Natalie suggested, follow with a question so that there isn’t an opportunity for them to ask for further information. I think this will be the least akward way to handle the situation.
I will also wait for an official acceptance before I ask for a deferrment.
I did find a suit, too. My goodness, do I feel sympathy for those women who are pregnant and working in the professional world! What a hunt that was. I ended up ordering one online, so I pray it will work. It should be here in a few days.
Thanks again for all the advice. I will let you all know how the interview goes. Luckily, Des Moines has a quick turn-around time after interviews, usually less than two weeks, so I’ll know soon enough whether or not I’ll have a spot. I am really hopeful. I have visited the school in the past, and I think I would be quite happy there.
Friday I’ll find out whether or not my husband is going to get his boy or if we have baby girl number three on the way!
Angie
Bill:
I appologize if I came across as being defensive.
All:
This has been a stressful year, with disappointing feedback from my applications, my husband searching for a new job, and an unplanned baby to top it all off. I am still grasping at any chance I may have left at getting an acceptance this cycle so that I don’t need to go through it all again next year. I have worked very hard to overcome a lot of obstacles to get to this place, and now I have one more hurdle to jump across. My worst fear is that it will be seen by schools as a lack of commitment, when that really couldn’t be further from the truth. That being said, however, it is true that my commitment does not lie solely with medicine, but with my family as well. As many of us OPMs are very well aware, that makes this journey incredibly bouncy, difficult at times, and interesting to say the least. At the same time, it is potentially so much more rewarding because the outcome will, in hope, be positive not only to our own lives, but to those of our families as well.
I often struggle with the raw truth of this crazy process, the fact that there are going to be many situations where those of us who have our hearts and souls invested will not be granted the opportunity, while others with pretty applications and a big lack of dedication will be successful. I, like many of you, just need to continue to believe that I will be in the exact place that I am meant to be in the end, whether or not that place is the one that I have my heart set on. Life will provide me with the place to shine, as long as I am aware that I need to go through the doors that are opened to me, and not try too hard to knock down the doors that are blocked.
I realize I have gone off on a tangent here. You are all a great group of people out there, and I wish you all the very best in your goals, at no matter what point you are in this journey. Thank you so much for participating in this forum, so that we may benefit from the knowledge and experiences of each other.
Angie
Angie, I was going to say be vague. Be very very vague. IN fact, my opinion is to only say SOON. End of story. Soon could be late spring, or early summer and it gives them even MORE time to anticipate your being able to handle being there THIS YEAR. That is when you are applying. THis year, not next.
Second, handling the family situation questions will be a ncie transitional thing as well. Asking about their support of family students and that you’ll want to participate in them will throw THEM off guard and you in command of the conversation so you can present your best foot forward.
Angie,
I shared some of your concerns, I was 8.5 months pregnant and having contractions at my med school interview in October. The fact of my pregnancy was impossible to ignore but aside from happy congratulatory comments my interviewers limited the scope of the interview to my academics, experiences and motivation. Also, my admissions director was wonderfully supportive, in fact she is the one who pointed out to me (privately) that a 1 year deferral was an option if I was not ready to start med school when my baby was 9 mos old. I left my interview impressed and amazed that it was a non-issue. I was prepared to defend myself from intrusive and inappropriate questions, but I was so comfortable in my interviews that I volunteered information about my husband’s supportiveness and my childcare plans. I was admitted, and the admissions director called me at my home to tell me at 9:30 pm on the same night I went to the hospital to have my baby! Although our timing is slightly different, it’s my hope that your experience will be similarly positive – I hope the interviewers will be able to put aside your pregnancy and focus on the qualities that would make you a welcome addition to their school. However, if the questions do come up, I agree with prior posters that it’s not the business of the med school to determine how you will manage, but merely that you are qualified. Any discussion of deferring should be left until after you have been admitted. I was assured that there would be no hard feelings if I wanted to defer, that the option was there for a reason.
Blessings on you and your baby
Kelli
Hello again!
Well, it is over. I had my interview, six months pregnant, at DMU yesterday. I was quite impressed! It was a total non-issue. In fact, my interviewers indicated that in their opinion, often students with families tend to be more organized and better prepared to start medical school. I avoided the due date question (not asked by interviewers, but other staff) very gracefully and it all seemed to go very well.
I feel confident that whether or not I get accepted will have nothing to do with the fact that I am pregnant.
For those of you who are not yet in med school, I would recommend looking at DMU (osteopathic). Their student age range is 21-58 years old. Their OMM program is tops, and the entire school is amazingly friendly and supportive of each other. In my opinion, this is a great place to go, especially if you have a family to tote along.
Thanks again all!
Angie
P.S. we are having a boy!!!
First and foremost, congratulations regarding your little man! Second, congratulations for successfully keeping the focus on your interview on you and your application, not your family planning. Well done! Congrats and good luck!
So glad to hear it went well Angie! Congrats on a great interview, and good luck with the application cycle and the new baby boy! I have two boys and I think they are great! I’d like another one.
Glad you liked the school. Hope you get good news from them soon.
Pam