Wondering if anyone else is coming from this position?
I suppose it began when my very geeky, atheist father decided to teach me the facts of life. He did so - in gory medical detail (although I didn’t know at this age that sex started it!) complete with anatomic illustrations and photos of developing fetuses. From that age, I was hooked on medicine.
After giving up on being a scientist or doctor (I’d wanted to be one, the other, or both, all my childhood), I spent my teens and twenties honing my creative side… music, art, writing. I went through a goth phase. I got heavily into gaming and science fiction fandom. I worked as a graphic artist.
Having come full-circle, I’m now a re-entry student preparing to transfer as a biology major, and I’m working on my pre-med prerequisites.
Sitting in the local coffee shop though, and working on my homework, I look around and see that most of the premeds and med students (I live near UCSD) are all very starched, conventional type of people.
I superficially look like one of these people now (with a clean-cut conservative image), but I’m still a geek, and my “wild” side comes out on occasion (such as on Halloween).
I mean, I’m 31 and read comic books. I went to science fiction conventions before I stopped having time (I don’t regret the lack of time - I love science and especially medical science more than anything else in the whole world). I listen to “non-mainstream” music and I’m a total art lover.
Being mature just means I hide this side better, and that I spend more time on my studies than on any of my previous interests than I ever did.
I am wondering if anyone else is coming from a similar position, and if there are any people who actually become doctors, who are like me. Or if I am “too eccentric” to be a doctor? I grew up with people thinking I was “weird”, and I have often “not fit in” in various places, and I fear that if I can’t hold a job because of “not fitting in”, if I am going to get fired because of doing things too unconventionally at times, then medical school will just be another way for me to get horribly in debt.
I wonder if anyone else has any words for me, or has been through this.
I think it all depends. If you’re maintaining a balance now, where your desire for whatever seems quirky about you doesn’t interfere with your school work or acheivements, I don’t think it’s a big deal to be quirky. It’s kind of fun, and I’m a bit of an odd duck myself.
The only little red flag I see is about how you’ve not fit in places before and are afraid your quirkiness might get you fired. If you have comic books and have off-the-beaten-path tastes in art and music, I can’t see that getting you in trouble. If you have trouble getting along with people who are more conservative, or quirky about different things, then that’s not really about being eccentric–it’s about social skills and mutual respect, something you could work on without losing your sense of self.
I noticed that you said you looked around the coffee shop and see starched, conventional types of people, and later comment that you look like that on the outside, too. So how do you know that on the inside, some of the people you’re looking like aren’t a lot like you? Maybe that one has a pet iguana at home and this one actually thinks Sun Ra produces music (though it sounds like a piano falling downstairs if you ask me) and the one over there is rushing through her homework because she’s going orienteering this weekend. You don’t really know.
The Sun Ra show I saw was one of the most amazing musical experiences I’ve ever had. Seriously, it was so freaking cool it blew my freaking mind. Space is the place.
That said, I agree with samenewme. If you’re just a geek with good social skills, eccentricity is fine. Although, the geeky stuff you’re into isn’t that eccentric, it’s just part of an alternative universe full of people who are into stuff like that.
If you freak everyone out and make people want to fire you a lot then it’s not so good for a people-oriented field like medicine. (Yes, even pathology.)
But this is a deep question the sum of which (I think) is, “Do I have a personality disorder? Or do I just underestimate my ability to function socially because of the deep festering gangrenous wounds of junior high school?” I think I’m a therapy junkie or something because for the third post and the third OPM new-member query in a row (TRIFECTA! I WIN!) I am recommending that you consult a professional who can help you sort this out.
Good luck!
joe
I’m still figuring it all out. Yep, you about summed it up; a lot of my interests come from various “alternative” cultures. I have a conservative image - but still listen to industrial music! I no longer intend to get piercings, but I still admire them on others, even if I do think putting holes in your body is foolhardy. I still have a small, discreetly-located tatoo I want to get. And even though I look like a “normie” these days, and am too busy to hang out in science fiction fan circles or gaming groups very much, I still from time to time go to science fiction conventions, and presently am preparing an exhibit of my art for the next one. I’m much happier being devoted to my studies and occasionally displaying my art from time to time, than I was as a professional graphic artist.
I still go to goth clubs occasionally.
Given I’m coming back to a childhood ambition, I had a whole life between childhood and 31 to develop a personality that didn’t revolve around scholastics, science or medicine. I was a complete, utter slacker and dilettante for years before I “got serious”.
I like a lot of things that a lot of other people like… basically I’m a geek with some counterculture/multicultural interests… many of my friends are eccentrics or bohemians. I’m really into culture - last semester I studied Mandarin Chinese and when I’m through with my prerequisites, I’d like to continue learning it. Maybe over a summer I’ll take a conversation class.
But I just haven’t ever met a med student or doctor who was like me. Maybe I need to meet more med people.
I think a lot of my social issues have just been geekhood, and being in social settings where geekhood has been stigmatized. In my more “mainstream” jobs I was often the only geek there. Let alone the only person who didn’t go to church… heck I often got asked, “why do you want to learn Chinese?”. I don’t think a person should ever have to justify learning to talk to other people.
The people who are often “put off” by me, for some reason, have been lower middle class or working class “Middle America” types. I guess I am very “California”.
Yeah. I still have some teen angst going on. I wondered if I had Asperger’s for a long time. Then I actually met people who had it, and concluded, I’m not like that - my friends who know “Aspies” say I’m not like that, as well.
Admittedly, medical science was probably my biggest oddball interest. I suppose that as a med student, reading about medicine won’t be a “weird hobby” and I won’t have to justify it to anyone.
I guess what I’ve been asking is… are there doctors out there who are geeks? Maybe I have this stereotype of doctors as being straightlaced people who play golf. Maybe I need to work on that.
Quote:
If you freak everyone out and make people want to fire you a lot then it’s not so good for a people-oriented field like medicine. (Yes, even pathology.)
But this is a deep question the sum of which (I think) is, “Do I have a personality disorder? Or do I just underestimate my ability to function socially because of the deep festering gangrenous wounds of junior high school?” I think I’m a therapy junkie or something because for the third post and the third OPM new-member query in a row (TRIFECTA! I WIN!) I am recommending that you consult a professional who can help you sort this out.
Good luck!
joe
Ha ha ha Joe–even I noticed your penchant for advising therapy lately! Now what’s the point of going to a 300 year old school in New England that looks like a giant crypt (Harvard is all marble, for those who have yet to witness it) if you’re going to go all new-agey on us?? Could it be the effects of all that PBL and small group stuff? Hee hee!
Just to get your goat I made a totally retrograde and not at all therapeutic comment in another thread. You will have to guess what it was!
But I agree completely–it is never good to freak people out or make anyone want to fire you or avoid you. At least that’s what I’m told.
Quote:
I guess what I’ve been asking is… are there doctors out there who are geeks? Maybe I have this stereotype of doctors as being straightlaced people who play golf. Maybe I need to work on that.
Are you saying you need to work on your stereotypes, or on your golf game?
I’m with you if it’s golf you want to improve at. For me, golf is so far from my life, that getting into it would be my own personal version of learning Chinese (like you mentioned). Go for it, I say!
The stereotypes - my only golf experience is miniature golf.
What’s with the stereotype of doctors playing golf? Where does that come from?
Yes there are other “geeks” out there.
While my artistic dreams didn’t go as far as yours (the whole doctor when I grow up thing was never far from the surface) we definitely have the love of sci fi and artistic things in common. I was a figure skater, then a singer, then an actor (music theater), then a dancer, and worked many midwest sci fi conventions in my “previous” life. I wasn’t exactly goth but I always admired those that had a couple piercings/tats. I’m very much into different cultures as well. I’m also pretty much on the fringe of social groups (always have been tho), but I get along with pretty much everyone. I may have interests that are different than their’s but that’s what makes our friendships (or aquaintances) that much more diverse.
Nowadays I’m pretty much a homebody but I still live by the sci fi channel, read tons of sci fi, and explore most of my “true” interests on my own when I have time.
I never had trouble keeping a job tho if I actually wanted to keep it. My issues came more with doing well in a class that I really had no interest in, but I’ve grown out of that thankfully. So I do agree with others on that point, if you truly have trouble keeping a job because you act too unconventionally while at work that issue will probably keep coming back to haunt you. But I think that the issues you’ve had in the past with jobs probably have more to do with problems that you mentioned on sdn but not here yet, and for which you’ve had treatment so they probably won’t be an issue anymore.
I have a feeling you’re worrying needlessly though (that your “fear” is just that a “fear” rather than reality), and that you’ll be just fine in the world of doctors.
Good luck!
If reading comic books and being way too into sci-fi and alternative artistic genres were a disqualifier, I’d be throwing in the towel myself. I think your difference here is really your strength in terms of the application process. You have had a unique set of life experiences that informs the decisions you will make and the relationships you will establish with your patients.
As was said above, as long as you “play well with others,” then I think you will find that your personality is really a strength in this process. I’ve read several comments in this forum from those more wise in the ways of medicine than I that the most important thing when you are going through medical school and residency is that you manage to maintain the parts of your identity that do not involve medicine. This maintenance will keep you sane and help you be a better doctor in the long run.
Good luck, and enjoy the ride!
Fantastic. For a moment I was thinking I had to be a preppy, Republican kid from a rich background, basically, who’s only into absolutely the most “mainstream” kinds of hobbies. The med students near me (I live near UCSD) all seem to have that snooty, fresh-faced squeaky-clean look, and all remind me of the kind of kids that dissed me in junior high. I guess I’m just holding on to my teen angst after all these years. javascript:void(0)
OK, may as well jump right in - since I need a job and am only qualified to do one job (that I can’t do while in school), I’m looking into getting retrained over the summer to do something in health care.
Thanks for the encouragement, you and everyone else.
[Running downstairs now to finish off my home-made pepper steak, and watch the rest of this Animal Planet special about dragons.]