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I’d probably be in favor of that as I am a freak magnet! My dating life is horrible right now!
Dating life? You have a dating life? Heck, at dance class I’m flirting with the nuns!
There must be something illegal about that!!
There must be something illegal about that!!
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OK all this fun repartee has me thinkin’ that OPM needs to tack on a day at the beginning or end of our conference to do fun stuff - maybe a lunch cruise or tour or something “Washington-y” but just fun, no lecture, no medicine crap. Whaddaya think y’all?
Mary
who (for the record) is happily married
Personally, I think it’s a great idea!
I gave up on the dating scene once I started my post bac! There is nothing more academically distracting than a dysfunctional relationship! 
I’m not quite looking yet, but at some point I hope to find some sort of casual dating life, somewhere between dancing with nuns and embroiled in a relationship.
Well, what if the relationship wasn’t dysfunctional. Oh yea, they all are, right? Just kidding… but sometimes I fear that — and that’s what keeps my desires to date near zilch.
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OK all this fun repartee has me thinkin’ that OPM needs to tack on a day at the beginning or end of our conference to do fun stuff - maybe a lunch cruise or tour or something “Washington-y” but just fun, no lecture, no medicine crap. Whaddaya think y’all?
Mary
who (for the record) is happily married
Hmmmmm…intriguing…I’ll see what I can orchestrate
Dave, I PM’ed you - Mary
I am so nervous posting, this is my first time. I need help. I breathe and dream of being a docotor. I am female,27 with no children. I am starting a new post bacc program, in a new state in January. I gave up everything a few months ago and moved to another state so I could work and pay for school.
I am african American, with no funds for school and impossible to get loans. Tonight, I just came in from work, a job that would pay for two classes but can’t pay the bills. I live with a roomate who aksed me to leave cause though rent is on time, she wants money for cable ( I don’t have a T.V. ( and I can’t pay the bill)).
Tonight, I just want to cry. I can’t see medical school in sight, at least anymore. If I complete this journey I will be first in my family for generations to get into medical school, much less become a doctor.
But all the obstacles I have been through is just crippling. What about Kids? In my culture I should have already had kids. I have had three failed relationships all becuase I really want to go to Medical school than kids. But the more I work towards medical school the furthur away it gets.
I moved to a new state, a new school, a new job, away from family because I really want this. But as I wait to begin my new program in January which calls for me to be full time soon, I am losing my steam, losing the courage I have.
Samatha.
Can someone tell me how to form a support system? What about children? Can you make it with children? What books are out there? Can i get a buddy online? My decision to become a doctor is from the heart. I know i could be a great docotor just doing it alone, with no support system is killing every fiber of my soul.
Samantha,
I’ll try to answer most of your questions.
If you said it is impossible to get any loans and there are no funds, then you might want to look at emergency grants or loans. Your college may have an emergency fund just for that purpose or you may look in the internet for “emergency grants/loans”.
I can’t answer your question about kids; however, many people on this forum have kids and are excelling in med school and beyond. I’m sure you will have answers shortly.
If you want a support system, I think you found it! This is a great forum to ask questions, and to receive advice. Some of the more popular books on medical school admissions include: Getting Into Medical School by Sanford Brown, Medical School Admissions, 5th Revised Edition (Medical School Admissions) by John Zebala and Kaplan/Newsweek Medical School Admissions Adviser, Fourth Edition (Get Into Medical School) by Maria Lofftus.
I know what you mean when you say this endeavor is from the heart. I have been continuing on this road (getting into medical school)for ten years. So, I can’t or won’t let the dream die.
Finally, do not feel like you are alone in this endeavor. Keep asking questions and visit often.
Samantha,
What a dark night you are having, and I am sorry. I have had many of those myself. You do have a lot of things working against you right now, but I think you have more going for you than against you. If this is what you have wanted more than anything, then you can overcome just about anything. It sounds as though when you say in your culture you should have kids by now, what you might really mean is in the eyes of your family you should have kids right now. Is that why you don’t have family support? I don’t have family support because they all think that at 48 I should be in the middle of a journey, not just starting one. And they don’t want any extra burdens on them because I have a “wild hair”. After all, they trudged through jobs they hated for decades; it’s the American Way!! I have a child I would not give up for anything, but as a single mom, I do know that it would be far easier if I only had myself to worry about. Maybe that is one of those blessings in disguise? As far as failed relationships; they didn’t fail because you have a dream of medical school. They failed because someone else couldn’t respect your dreams. Would you really want someone who couldn’t take joy in your joy? I think this is a great place for support, too. I have only been here about a month or so myself, and the response I have received, and the support I see exchanged here is like a bit of heaven. What it has done for me, and what I hope it will do for you, is change my perspective from, “Do I stand a chance?” to “When I get into med school…” One thing that I have found encouraging is to go through and mark some of the threads as favorites. Then, everyday, I get some positive chat in my email box. Financially, have you tried Sallie Mae? They seem to have a lot of options, and if I was able to get a loan, almost anyone should be able to as well. How about trying the Urban League for temp support? Here where I live, they do have emergency type funds for African Americans. It’s only another month or so until you move, hang in there. Also, most electric co.s AND the Salvation Army can give one time help with utilities payments. Also, the local Catholic Charities. Look for a Human Crisis Council and a Christian Sharing Center. I have referred famillies in pinches to all of these places and they have received help needed. Don’t be embarassed; it’s temporary for you, not a way of life. Right after my divorce I found myself in the local aid office and I was so embarassed, because it’s not something done in my family. But, we had to eat. The man was so kind. He said if someone had never been on the receiving side of the desk it was because they hadn’t lived long enough. Think of all the ways you’ll be able to give to others in similar situations when you are practicing. I know you need a hug, so consider it done. And come here often.
Sheryl
Oh my! Hope you are doing better today. I remember when I moved halfway across the country, and was told by college friends that I could stay with them till I could find my own place. It was only after I signed a new lease and had to wait a few weeks to move in that my “friends” told me I couldn’t stay there after all. I was ready to just get in the car and go home, and leave all my stuff in their apartment, cause I didn’t want to go back there. Things went from bad to worse housing-wise, but eventually things worked out.
As for the family thing, do you have a church yet? Do you care about that sort of thing? My biological family wasn’t supportive at first, (“thats nice, dear”) but eventually they came around. There was nothing at all in my family that would lead me to medicine – we weren’t all marinated in doctor-land. So if you also come from an environment like that, remember that it isn’t personal, they just don’t have any experience to relate to your dream. So you have to create your own environment and feed your own dream yourself. Why don’t you take some time this weekend to visit some parks or local attractions?
Samantha,
You and I are going through similiar obstacles. As I was reading you post, I envisioned myself. I, too, an African American and the thought of going to dental school scares me to death, although I have worked within the dental field for the past seven years. I love children (I have one son) and would love to have a house full; however, going to school full time and providing for my family is extremely hard. Don’t worry, you can have children after you finish school. My soon-to-be ex-fiance’ doesn’t support me at all and I know now that we shouldn’t get married. If you would like to chat, please email me.
So…no dating, eh Jeff, not with hard, harsh, smoking women in black?? (remembering a long ago conversation!!)
You have a great memory Kathy!
Hi Just wanted to say Marriage is hard, My wife is great and we do fight over things but I think it’s just that it’s so hard to be poor and not enough money to have what we had before I went to school.
That said, I think a soul-mate is someone who wants what is best for you, who loves you for who you are, who doesn’t expect you to always do for them, but at times you do for each other. Nothing expected but to support each other in what we do.
Thats a rare thing, I’m on my second marriage and there are days we are tired, days happy, days sad, and all that makes for a mixed bag of emotions.
Bottom line is I’m married, I love my wife, but if I was not married I’d wait till after med school.
People always think they can change or change someone else truth is change is extremly hard and causes a lot of stress and emotion.
You will know when the right person comes along, you just know.
Bill. 
I agree. I too am on my second marriage (so is my husband) and we have learned a lot from our mistakes. If we can support each other like this during pre-req season then I don’t see anythign different for med school. With loans, we should be ok since he has a decent job that will pay the bills, but there might not be much left over.
We have a substantial amount of debt right now after just getting married, and some days it’s hard, but we work at it.
I would say that if you are a med student, concentrate on that. Love will find you, don’t push it. Embrace it, because once you find it you won’t have as much time to yourself.
Ewwww…are you SURE you want try going through the British medical education system? Despite the reputation of superior diagnostic skills and less reliance on equipment and fancy testing as compared to their American counterparts…my experience the last year and a half with NHS doctors has been less than stellar in ALL circumstances to date, different doctors, different settings…and I saw LESS overall knowledge of basic sciences, poor and/or apathetic patient assessment…not to rain on your parade or anything, esp since your boyfriend is British, but after being in the UK for 16 months, I am RUNNING home to the US on Saturday!!! So, I probably sound a bit negative, but the observation of UK docs is spot on, and the standard of living in the UK is not the US by any means.
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Ewwww…are you SURE you want try going through the British medical education system? Despite the reputation of superior diagnostic skills and less reliance on equipment and fancy testing as compared to their American counterparts…my experience the last year and a half with NHS doctors has been less than stellar in ALL circumstances to date, different doctors, different settings…and I saw LESS overall knowledge of basic sciences, poor and/or apathetic patient assessment…not to rain on your parade or anything, esp since your boyfriend is British, but after being in the UK for 16 months, I am RUNNING home to the US on Saturday!!! So, I probably sound a bit negative, but the observation of UK docs is spot on, and the standard of living in the UK is not the US by any means.
I agree on the British doctors. An experience I had with doctors in an ER over there helped motivate me to get off my arse and go to medical school. I mean, I had diagnosed the problem and knew what to do, but it took them 1 hour to treat the problem (TIA…I mean, how the hell do they miss that).
I’ve lived in the UK a lot too and I guess I agree. Just that personal circumstances sort of make going to the UK the only real option here.
