Hello, all! So here I am…finishing up my first semester of pre-reqs for medical school. Hard to believe it, because it feels like I just started about 2 weeks ago.
I looked back through some of my ponderings from the beginning of this journey, and I was consumed with worry over the following: How will I work school into an already busy life, and how badly will my daughter or my marriage suffer? Can I even do school after being out of the classroom for 12 years???
Sound familiar? I’m betting that many of you struggle with the same fears. Now that I’m done with the first semester, I just have to pause and consider where I’m at:
- I “managed.” I even managed to get the highest grades in both my chemistry and biology classes–making 100% or better on many of my exams. And my job didn’t suffer at all.
- My husband said to me last night, “Huh. Look at us…we’re all still alive, and we’re all still happy and healthy, and no one seems to be doing any of this ‘suffering’ you were so concerned about.” (As my now four year old daughter twirled by singing happily…)
- I only cried once. I felt overwhelmed due to some pressure at work that kept me from studying at the level that I usually did, and things kind of piled up on me at once. So I cried. Lasted about 10 minutes. My husband patiently listened, then handed me my chem book and escorted me to the table. I made a 94% on the exam–lowest score I managed all semester…I think it’ll be alright.
- I dropped 10 pounds. Why? Because I’m in class at night. Can’t bring food in the labs… so I had to be done eating by 6pm. Thus nixing my night-time munchies. Bonus.
- I was FULL of FUD in December… I mean, it kept me up nights, people. Turns out, all the worrying I did really didn’t amount to much at all. I took the advice of some wonderful parents who are fellow OPMers and just made every moment count with my family. I tried to be fully present in every moment (when I was with family, that’s all I thought about…when it was study time, that’s what I devoted myself to, etc…) And I blinked, and it’s over. The only “suffering” endured by anyone in my family was mine–and that was just a little less sleep. Ok, sometimes a lot less sleep… but I managed!
Conclusion: So many of the things we worry about are either variables we can’t even control, or are complete over reactions due to fear. I didn’t tell many people why I was back in school, because I was so afraid it wouldn’t “work.” I didn’t want to admit failure when the end came. (This is how afraid I was!) Now? I am officially declaring myself a pre-med student…to people OUTSIDE this forum.
Err on the side of trying… don’t live in regret. Just take a step forward–take one class. Shadow one physician. See how each step feels and where it takes you–and just keep walking.
Just thought I’d put something out there for anyone who’s lurking like I was 6 months ago. I can now safely answer my own initial questions: YES, this is possible, and NO, we’re not crazy…at least not in this regard.
Have a beautiful day, all!