You have a difficult situation compared to my life as a single male. Your post struck a cord with me due to a thought I had yesteday. My father enjoyed his career. However, he did not quite live the life that he would have liked. He forfeited that to the providing for my mother and 5 siblings. We never lived in the exclusive neigborhoods. I can not remember ever having a family vacation. But, I realized that I never went without a meal. I felt safe at home to play, watch t.v. or just hang out. He helped me with my homework and was there to teach me anything I wanted to know. He encouraged me and told me how smart and talented I was. I learned later of his dream to sail around the world and his longing to return to the east coast.
There were many sacrafices made so that me and my brothers and sisters would have a stable life. I will carry this memory of him forever. If you choose the path of least resistance, and continue to provide for your family you will be a success. Now on the other hand… women are very big on financial security and you are threatening that in the eyes of your wife. Alot of the reaction may be fear of the unknown financial plan rather than anger over disrupting the current lucrative lifestyle. But, many people also do not pursue there dreams and live a life of mediocrity to later live with regret. Society seems to be inspired by those that go against the flow, pursue and attain their goals against hardships like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn. If you can work thing out to where your wife understands and is supportive ( extremely important as you will be climbing a steep slope) You will accomplish what so few do, living the life they dream of. Then you will also be a success. The most important thing though, is your family. If you can bring them on board, then you win either way!