Who can help me out here?
I’m applying this year, my fiance is applying to vet school next year. Are we going to be able to see one another, spend any time together while we’re in med school? And what about once we’re out, during residency? What’s the reality of the situation?
Who can help me out here?
I don’t know what the vet school situation is like, but in med school you’ll have time. I continued to enjoy occasional dinners & movies w/ my husband, went out with friends occasionally, and we travelled each year. You’ll know your schedule and will be able to plan around it to a great extent.
In residency, again you’ll know your schedule and will be able to plan around it. Yep, you won’t have much time but you’ll know what you’ve got and you’ll be able to work around it. You’ll get some holidays off - residencies work this out in different ways - and you should get three weeks of vacation per year.
After four years of med school and 1-1/2 years of residency, I am still married if that counts…
I’m with Mary in that I don’t know about the vet school piece, but after 3 1/2 years of med school, my marriage is just a strong as ever. Actually, in reflecting back on my time in med school (I’ve been doing more of that as I progress through fourth year and get closer to graduation), I’ve realized that I have had more than ample opportuity to maintain a balanced life- studying and hanging out with my husband. We’ve still had time to go camping, ride our bikes, and watch our favorite shows on TV (Amazing Race, Cold Case).
It also depends on whether you will live in the same city or not. When my mother was in med school, we (me, my brother, and my dad) lived 2.5 hours south of her, and we saw her about every other weekend, less when she was busy with exams. My dad’s call schedule didn’t allow for much time away for the two of them, either. But somehow they made it! So, if you have a strong relationship and prepare yourself, you’ll be alright. It will be tough, but you’ll make it!
It is all about making the relationship a priority & striking a balance. Seomtimes, this will mean choosing time w/ the SO over those extra couple of percentage points on a grade. In the long run, who cares?
There will have to be commitment & the willingness to prioritize & a degree of malleability from both of you. But, if the relationship survives, then it will have been forged & tempered like few others.
It isn’t quantity of time but quality of time that works for me and me mate. We see more of each other than we would like sometimes but we made our relationship a priorty. Balance is the key to everything in life including medicine. Banish the “all or nothing” type thoughts from your head. You may have to be a bit creative in some of the romantic things but there is plenty of time.