Last night I did not have a good night’s rest. I was terrified of submitting my applications. Even though I read them over a billion times Ihad my wife look them over. Good thing, she found a good number of typos that I corrected.
she is looking the applications over once more today.
It looks like this evening, I will send in my applications. 
I have a stomach ache just thinking about it. This is what I do not get. I have been waiting 9 years to do this and I you would think I would be super excited and not think about it. I am anxious as hell.
Bartender…a drink. And make it a double.
Oh, yeah. Not only was I anxious about the application, but it grew to where all my free-floating generalized anxieties woke up, too, and the world was a dark and dreadful place.
I’m single, so I had to call a friend to make me press the “submit” button. We agreed I could sleep on it and press it in the morning. I found a few more typos, CHANGED ANOTHER SENTENCE IN MY PS (I know. Does it ever stop?), and went for it.
It feels much better when you let it go. Now you’re an applicant, and it’s real.
You’ll still need that drink.
At 11:18pm, this evening, after 3 hours of making corrections and re-reading the applications several times more…
I submitted them to AMCAS and AACOMAS.
I am ready for my drink now.
Good for you then…now I’ll have one more person to keep my fingers crossed for 
Hey Folks,
Congratulations on taking another step towards your goal of becoming a physician. I am constantly amazed at the angst that you seem to be attaching to this process. It is far from that and just a process.
You have worked towards your goal. You have filled out your application and you have gotten this done. Now, have a very good and well-planned “Plan B” ready and waiting in the wings. If you do not have a Plan B, now is the time to put you energy in to getting one and stop obsessing about your application.
I remember when I started the process (totally as an afterthought) as I was studying for my comprehensives for my Biochemistry Ph.D. I was so occupied with my comprehensive exam, I didn’t have much time to think about taking the MCAT and getting my AMCAS together. I was also working on my lectures for the upcoming fall semester in two classes (constant editing and updating).
I worked on my AMCAS application between experiments in the lab and studied for the MCAT on my subway ride home. In short, applying to medical school was another process that I had to get together. If it didn’t work out, I was working on my next years stuff.
I threw myself into getting into good physical condition with lots of pumping iron and swimming. I ran up to ten miles at a shot and kept on working on my experiments. When the MCAT came around in August, I simply hopped on my bike, rode the four miles to GW on a wonderful August morning and listened to AC/DC and Metallica along the way. It was so cool, I didn’t even break a sweat. I fed my cells in the lab and hopped over to the building where the test was being administered and stood around in line.
On the lunch break, I enjoyed an bowl of Asian noodle soup at my favourite hangout (DJ’s) and went back to the test. After it was done (my AMCAS had long been completed and verified), I simply put my energies into my upcoming lectures and planning for next year. I had all of my experients designed and had one of the most productive summers ever.
As the fall rolled around, I received my first invitation for interview even before my MCAT scores had been released and without secondary application. When my scores were released, I interviewed the next week and received my first acceptance the next week. I almost missed the acceptance letter because I was so preoccupied with getting my fall stuff done.
In short folks, now is the time to pour your energy into getting your life in order. You are going to get an acceptance or you will not. The odds are, that you will get accepted but you have to have a back-up plan and strategy. You can both prepare for medical school and prepare for Plan B at the same time. Organize everything and keep busy.
You can always put yourself in a position for success no matter what the outcome of your application. Let the summer of 2005 be the summer where you OWN this process and take control. With that control comes the peace of mind that this process has always been your hands and see it to its fruition. Go from reactive to proactive. I can tell you from experience that any good physician has been proactive about their education, no matter what the stage.
Did I also mention that this is a good time to take a vacation and do something “outside of the box”. Take some chances and get used to the feeling because it is going to be with you for the rest of your career. This year, I am taking a series of mini-breaks and doing things like standing in the mist of Niagra Falls; climbing Old Rag Mountain in August; playing rugby with a couple of my neighbors so I can get back into good shape.
The application is in and it is but one more step in the process. Now, be proactive about the rest of the steps.
Natalie 
Natalie,
Face it, you’re just not the anxious type, so you don’t really get it. I had a lot of other stuff going on this semester as well. In fact, an hour after the MCAT I was changing into a costume for a dance performance–and I was the announcer. And it went great! With the divorce and all, I was a bit busy, but a true worrywart can always find a little time to obsess. It’s all about priorities and with practice I have learned to be reactive and proactive at the same time.
It’s not about the process. I attach angst to EVERYTHING! I can laugh at myself, and encourage others, and spend a lot of time enjoying life and going dancing, but there is a limit to how much my personality will really change. I worried as a housewife, I’m worrying as a pre-med, and I’ll worry as a doctor. And I’m still a happy person.
It’s just one of those things–I struggle with it, I work on it, but it will always be part of me to some extent, sort of the way some people apparently can just sit down and EAT CHOCOLATE ON PURPOSE! (Icky old chocolate! What’s WRONG with you people?)
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I have a stomach ache just thinking about it. This is what I do not get. I have been waiting 9 years to do this and I you would think I would be super excited and not think about it. I am anxious as hell.
Bartender…a drink. And make it a double.
I think what you’re reflecting here is a reasonable degree of uncertainty about “Am I really making the right choice?” Because even when you’ve thought about it, planned for it, analyzed it, and become convinced that the answer to that question is YES, the fact remains that until now it’s been something of an academic exercise. Pressing “submit” is a visceral “YES” that feels a lot more real even than the classes, even more real than the MCAT. All of a sudden you’re not a poser, flying under the radar of all those medical schools. Now you’re actually a name and a resume to them - they’re going to know you and they will be thinking about YOU.
I get it, Gabe. The truth is that you will encounter many more moments like this. I am having one now, as I start my second year of residency, in fact: up until now, I’ve been admitting patients and following them in the hospital but I’ve had my residents working alongside me and attendings pretty much second-guessing me a lot of the time. There’s been a pretty significant “safety net” although sometimes it didn’t feel that way.
Now I start working in the office, seeing patients independently. I will not have to consult an attending on every single one (though I’m certainly expected to initially, it’s not required). I can see someone, diagnose their problem, prescribe a treatment, and send them on their way ALL BY MYSELF. Kinda terrifying, frankly. And even though I know this is what I want to be doing, that does not make it any less daunting.
So those of you marveling at the odd dissonant feelings you’re having as you submit your application, just ride out the feeling … it’s okay. Very few of us do NOT suffer conflicting feelings throughout this adventure.
Mary
I’m enjoying a three-day weekend, baby!!! (a gift from our program to the fresh PGY-2’s - they figure we need the break)
I am going out of my mind at this point waiting to be verified by both organizations. I check about 6 times a day. I know I should not but I cannot help myself.
woosa
woosa
gabelerman,
Congrats on sending out the apps and I am sure that you will start receiving those secondaries any time now!!!
You will be just fine.
This morning I received an e-mail that my application has been verified. The differences between my UG and my graduate are now even more glaring, especially in the BCMP.
I know that the past is the past and there is nothing I can do about it now, but it really hits you like a ton of bricks to see such a low number followed by a high number. Almost 10 years between them.
Thoughts?
Celebrate the high number and go on with life. It’s all you can do, babe.
I received 2 secondaries!!!
1) GWU
2) UMDNJ-NJMS
Congrats, Gabe!
Larry
That’s great!!!
Keep us posted what’s going on!!!
Congratulations!!
Feel better? Woohoo for Gabe!
Thanks. Guys. I am feeling better. Once I get an acceptance, then I can truly put the past behind me. I am anal like that.
Oh, yeah, been there, done that, have the T-shirt–and did you know there’s a matching tote bag?
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This morning I received an e-mail that my application has been verified. The differences between my UG and my graduate are now even more glaring, especially in the BCMP.
I know that the past is the past and there is nothing I can do about it now, but it really hits you like a ton of bricks to see such a low number followed by a high number. Almost 10 years between them.
Thoughts?
You should be proud that you made so much improvement! People will be really impressed by this. And please don’t regret your past!
WOW! GREAT JOB!
I’m impressed, gabelerman! Congrats on the secondaries. There’s an acceptance waiting for you right around the corner, I’m sure!
– anita