Unemployed + fulltime postbacd or Employed + fatherhood + PT DIY postbacc??

Long story short, I hate my job. Been coming home just about everyday since August, new boss, telling my wife “I hate my job!” I won’t get into why, that’s not the point. The point is she said, I’m taking over the bills and let’s see what we can do. A few spreadsheets later she emerges and tells me that I will be quitting in 10 months! We will have enough saved and bills paid off in 10 months to have me come home, do a post-bacc, and apply to med school. I was ecstatic!!!

Problem? We won’t be able to adopt. She figures it’s worth the sacrifice. I on the other hand figure that there is no guarantee that I will be fulfilled in medicine. The way I look at it is that I believe I am called to medicine but in the end it is a job. Let’s face it, if medicine paid a $50-100k/year salary it wouldn’t be worth it for most of us. So while I believe I will be fulfilled in medicine I am by no means going into it as if medicine is my life. My apologies to those of you who hold that belief, it is not my intent to offend anyone. In the end I see medicine as a very fufilling career but still a job.

So after a day of thinking about it and looking at the spreadsheets I came up with a plan of my own. Instead of me quitting in 10 months I told her to quit in 10 months. I will continue with taking 1-2 classes/semester and dealing with a job I hate.

How does that change things? Well my job is to provide for my family and my wife’s dream has always been to be a stay-at-home mom. I asked myself if on my deathbed would I be most fulfilled in becoming a physicians sans kids or with kids. Definitely with kids! Of course there are no guarantees in life. A young lady at our church just died from an overdose; she was 21. Her mom and dad reared her like her brothers and they aren’t into drugs or that scene at all but she was. So there are no guarantees. However family is what it’s all about and I’ve resigned myself to the idea that I will continue down the path, at what feels like a snails pace, but have a wife and little ones at home.

I’m posting this because I’m interested in feedback. I know it’s our decision but my hope is that some of you will present some perspectives she and I haven’t considered.

So post away with feedback, either positive or negative. I don’t take any of this personally so don’t fret about my feelings…unless you’re a Cuban…

Have you considered being foster parents instead of adopting? This takes some of the financial considerations out of the picture, though it also places other (sometimes considerable) limitations.

I have met several people who ended up adopting kids that they fostered, but I don’t know anything about the process. I do know there is risk of heartbreak in there - my own parents lost 3 kids they fostered for several years due to a legal screw up by the state’s attorney, so the kids are now back in a lousy situation and my parents have no standing to advocate for them anymore. But fostering kids provides an incredible opportunity to help impact them in a positive way.

Anyways, another consideration to throw at you (which I realize you may have already evaluated and decided not to pursue).

Thanks Annette. Gotta love someone with Spurgeon in their signature line.

We’ve considered it. I’m not sold just yet. Have to call a friend who was a social worker and that’s what he did as a profession before he went to seminary. I just don’t know about the timeline. I guess I’m really caught up on being whatever age I’ll be at that time. I figure it’ll be 50. At that point I don’t know if I’d want to deal with introducing kids into the picture, fostered nor adopted. Jury’s still out on that one but it is under consideration.

Hey, crooz–wait, misspelling, that’s croooz–I know a lot of people are going to say fulltime postbac, but I did mine as DIY as it’s possible to do, and I was really struggling financially and in my personal life. It can’t compare with being a new parent, but it was a genuine struggle, nothing like living frugally on a grad stipend or anything like that. I did it 2 classes at a time while working a series of horrible jobs, and I’m getting interviews. No, I haven’t gotten an offer yet, but (a) hopefully good news will come any day and (b) I can assure you that any non-offer is based on other things than that B+, not like there was only one of THOSE.

So, wait. Is it really formal postbac vs. PARENTING? I am not trying to stare deep into your soul. I’m just asking rhetorically so that you can think it over. If you guys want to be parents, DIY will get the job done and more besides.

Also, as I’m sure you know, but just as a reminder–resident money is real money, a real job–check your local programs. YOU will work a billion hours for it, but your family will not be wanting for anything major.

(I know that people will say, wait, you have loans, this, that, it’s not that much, but from over here it’s more money than I’ve ever made–it’s more money than my SO has ever made…)

Thanks lurkation.

The decision was made for me by my boss. So we’re moving forward because the money we saved for the adoption will be used to pay for the DIY postbacc and the formal postbacc after that. We’ll continue to pray and see if we are meant to be parents via adoption or fostering or not. Tough pill to swallow if we’re not to be parents but we’re moving forward with med school and allowing life to play itself out.

Thanks for the response.