What to do?

Hi all - There’s a chance my bf of 6 years (we don’t live together) will be moving back to Texas within the next 6 months. We have discussed my transferring down to Texas (either UT-Austin or UT-Dallas depending where he ended up)but didn’t think the whole establishing residency process would be time conducive or cost conducive to my joining him there now. I’ve been doing some research tho.
Due to financial aid and sanity reasons at my current university (U Colorado - Colorado Springs) I had spread my schedule out to 12-15 credits per semester and a projected graduation in 2008 with 3 majors (bio, chem, and philosophy - philosophy got added for financial reasons - the school only covers 150% of a program by financial aid).
If I took a year off to establish residency (even tho that would mean applying for deferment on loans) I could finish one major (probably bio but still debating with chem) and still graduate in 2008 or the latest 2009. I had been planning on applying to Texas schools regardless but obviously my chances would be better if I were a resident. Another advantage would be that I could go thru academic fresh start and make 4 years of bad grades from my distant past disappear for the purposes of applying to Texas med schools. This would be a good thing since otherwise I’ll probably only have a shot at TCOM (maybe).
If we do separate, either in the near future, or when I go away to med school (if I go away), we aren’t going to try and keep an exclusive dating relationship going - we both know how difficult it is to stay faithful when 100s or 1000s of miles are between you. We’ll keep the lines of communication open, visit each other, etc, but whether we just become friends or eventually hook back up and get married will depend on what else happens in our lives. We can certainly see our paths recrossing and ending up together forever but we each want the other to get that gold medal in professional life first which may leave the other one out of the scenario.
Right now I’m really leaning toward transferring down to Texas if he moves down there. I love him, a TX degree is definitely not a bad thing, getting a fresh start and having a better chance at a TX med school is a good thing. Taking a year off to make some money wouldn’t be a bad thing either. And emotionally I just don’t want to be that far away or non-exclusive yet (maybe ever). But I am getting to the point in my classes where I won’t be able to transfer without losing too many credits soon. Right now I think I still could since I haven’t really started my upper division, non-required courses yet. The problem is that I do like my school (although I think I’d love UT), I like the idea of getting all 3 majors (I have too many interests lol), and even if I do follow him now I may still have to separate from him when I get into med school and we’ll be in the exact same place we are now.
Another option would be to finish up my dual degree as quickly as possible (finances will be righting themselves with the next fasfa), taking a year off then to establish tx residency, and then apply to texas schools but I have soo many years of bad grades to make up for that the extra years of good grades are probably needed.
So…that’s my dilemma. I’m curious about what y’all would do in the same situation, and any other advice you may have is appreciated.
Thanks,
Jessica, UCCS

Jessica,
You have a big decision to make! I know how tempting it may be to consider only the financial aspects, or the residency aspects, or the educational aspects . . .but don’t forget how much having someone you love close-by to support you can help you accomplish your dreams. It sounds like you two have a long-standing bond and, if I were you, that aspect would weigh heavily on my decision. Just my $.02.

Thanks for the reply. Believe me the support thing is definitely playing a part in the decision. Regardless he would still support me, it would just be mainly through IMs and phone calls instead of in person lol. The other stuff has to work out relatively easily as well for me to consider switching schools at this point. As much as I really don’t want to be away from him I may still get to be close to him while going through med school which is the more important time for having a close support system than ugrad (in my opinion anyway).
For now it’s just a wait and see game since he hasn’t really started looking for a new job yet and won’t seriously look until after the new year. He may still stay here or at least in Denver so we’ll see
–Jessica, UCCS

Jessica,
I’m going to approach this from a slightly different perspective. Why is your boyfriend moving back to Texas? Is there a reason he can’t stay in Colorado for another few years?
From where I sit, there are some significant disadvantages to being a Texas resident - almost as significant as being a California resident - while going through this process. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t move back there following my divorce to begin my journey to medical school even though I grew up there and have many contacts in the medical field. I ended up bypassing the Texas match entirely in my application process and so far it’s worked out well for me.
If that wasn’t enough, my personal perspective is don’t move for a relationship unless you have a ring and a date.
Good luck!

Boeing,
The answer to why my bf may not be able to stay here for another few years is that he is miserable professionally and personally (outside of me) here in Colorado. I personally think the majority of his unhappiness has to do with his current job, but he was happy in Texas and his friends are in Texas so if the “right” job presents itself in Texas rather than Colorado he will be moving back there.
Right now the job market in Colorado is still pretty awful and he may just have better luck in Texas than he will here.
As far as your view about moving and having the ring and a date thing I respect it, but definitely have a different view lol. It’d be one thing if we were in a new relationship but we have been dating for over 6 years, and while we don’t have immediate future marriage plans they are in the someday category. Part of the marriage issue is my having the time to finish converting to his religion which I’ll have a better chance of doing before med school if I’m in Texas than I will here (only one synagogue here and extremely inconvenient for me). Part of it is also protecting ourselves in case we do get separated during med school and meet someone else - not that we’ll be looking but we’ve known too many situations with others that it happened to.
I guess my big decision is where I think I’ll end up having the best shot of getting into a med school on the first try. In Texas I could establish residency, undergo fresh start and lose 4 of my 5 bad years of early grades before I settled into school. Being a resident would make getting into a texas school easier to start with (which if my bf is in texas is definitely where I’d want to go), and losing the bad grades would improve my app also. I wouldn’t have to finish more than one major to compensate like I’m doing now for outside of Texas schools. Or will I have a better shot if I just finish the 3 majors I’m currently doing and leaving all the bad stuff in for schools to see. I haven’t crunched the numbers yet to see what the difference in gpa would be, and I do know that if I applied to schools outside of Texas I’d still have to show all my transcripts regardless of my fresh start status in Texas, but I’m thinking I may have a better shot within the Texas system with the fresh start than I will outside the Texas system without the fresh start.
In the end all my thinking about options may be moot anyway since hopefully he will find a good job here, but I’m trying to prepare for myself for either eventuality
–Jessica, UCCS

Hi Jessica!
I live in Dallas and I think Texas is full of schools to go to, if your think of the difference with in/out state tution, most UT schools offer great programs that let out of state student qualify for in state, and I’d be careful about the instate tuition, a girlfriend of mine moved here 2 yrs ago and when she went to apply for school this semester they ask if you moved here in the past 5 years!!! They said for in state your drivers license has to be at least 2 years old too ( Texas )
I’m currently pre-med with UT- Arlington and they have great housing, you don’t have to be married to live with your boyfriend and good tution waviers, Hope this helps!

Hi Crissy - According to UT’s website it just has to be 12 consecutive months so your friend should probably talk to someone higher up the chain. If they’ve changed their policy to 2 years they need to change their website, but your friend can print out where it says 12 months and threaten lawsuits if need be lol. I did read about some of the waivers, and if I can find a job at some of the companies that get in state tuition that would of course be awesome, but who knows if that will happen lol. All the other waivers I saw you had to be coming from a bordering county or state and Colorado wasn’t included.
However regardless of what I end up deciding to do I won’t be living with my bf until we get married. That’s just something we both decided long ago.
–Jessica, UCCS

Quote:

If that wasn’t enough, my personal perspective is don’t move for a relationship unless you have a ring and a date.
Good luck!


Amen Sista’/Brotha! Things/people change too easily when there’s no formal commitment involved.

Quote:

Quote:

If that wasn’t enough, my personal perspective is don’t move for a relationship unless you have a ring and a date.





Good luck!







Amen Sista’/Brotha! Things/people change too easily when there’s no formal commitment involved.







Ok I’m not debating the issue that things/people can change…there are different forms of a formal commitment however, and I’m definitely old enough to know that aspect of things. Besides, after 6 years our relationship and who we are is probably pretty well settled and unlikely to change anytime soon (except for the better).





My bigger consideration was which option y’all thought would give me a better shot at getting into med school on the first try. Finishing 3 majors at my current school with an old gpa right around 2.0 (or lower, haven’t figured it out in a long time) to make up for, and applying everywhere including Texas schools (after all I have family there too, and regardless of where my relationship with the bf goes we’ll always be friends so he’ll be in my life still)…OR establishing residency in Texas, going through academic fresh start, losing 4 of the 5 years of bad grades from my past life, finishing one major and then applying to schools, mostly in Texas but select other schools as well.





–Jessica, UCCS

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Amen Sista’/Brotha! Things/people change too easily when there’s no formal commitment involved.







That’s what I was getting at path2dr. I suppose having been once divorced…while I don’t want to say that I’m jaded, I do have a very realistic view of relationships and human failings.





Besides, there are extraordinary number of attractive young ladies down in Austin.





As far as the bad undergrad grades Jessica, I was in a very similar situation applying with a 2.4 undergraduate GPA and a 4.0 postbac GPA. Thus far, it hasn’t hurt me in the DO application process. As far as the MD application process goes, time will tell.

Quote:

My bigger consideration was which option y’all thought would give me a better shot at getting into med school on the first try. Finishing 3 majors at my current school with an old gpa right around 2.0 (or lower, haven’t figured it out in a long time) to make up for, and applying everywhere including Texas schools (after all I have family there too, and regardless of where my relationship with the bf goes we’ll always be friends so he’ll be in my life still)…OR establishing residency in Texas, going through academic fresh start, losing 4 of the 5 years of bad grades from my past life, finishing one major and then applying to schools, mostly in Texas but select other schools as well.



I apologize for getting side tracked on the relationship aspect of your post. But I’ve found, that placing time and “relationship” restrictions on professional goals is not a very good way to go in securing your future.
Like Boeing, I’m also a divorce’ so perhaps I see relationship issues a little differently. However, like you I also have a VERY, VERY low undergrad GPA (<2.5) so I know that it’s best to focus on just getting in as opposed to making sure I get in on the first try. I guess I’d like to think that if you didn’t get in on the first try and you feel this is your “calling”, you’d stick it out, improve your app, and give it another try. Some of the best doctors I know/have required more than one try to get into med school.
Finally, Texas seems to be a great choice with both MD and DO options and one I also considered! Good luck!

[quote That’s what I was getting at path2dr. I suppose having been once divorced…while I don’t want to say that I’m jaded, I do have a very realistic view of relationships and human failings.



Oh I don’t disagree with the notion that people/things do change…just that I don’t need a ring on my finger to be truly committed to someone (or even living with them for that matter lol). Part of the difficulty for me is that I do want to marry him someday but we’ve been partially protecting ourselves for the day we may have to separate (after all up until now Colorado was the assumed place he was going to be and we only have one MD school so the liklihood of my getting in there wasn’t too great) so we can each attain our professional goals. On the other hand, if we can reach those goals while still being in the same place and supporting each other even better.
I just don’t have any hang ups about moving somewhere else to stay close to a friend or significant other without a “formal” commitment if it’s not going to interfere with your own goals. After all if things don’t work out you’ve experienced a new town, maybe even one you love, that you wouldn’t have otherwise experienced, hopefully made some new friends, and you can either stay in that town or move somewhere else .
–Jessica, UCCS

Quote:

I apologize for getting side tracked on the relationship aspect of your post. But I’ve found, that placing time and “relationship” restrictions on professional goals is not a very good way to go in securing your future.
Like Boeing, I’m also a divorce’ so perhaps I see relationship issues a little differently. However, like you I also have a VERY, VERY low undergrad GPA (<2.5) so I know that it’s best to focus on just getting in as opposed to making sure I get in on the first try. I guess I’d like to think that if you didn’t get in on the first try and you feel this is your “calling”, you’d stick it out, improve your app, and give it another try. Some of the best doctors I know/have required more than one try to get into med school.
Finally, Texas seems to be a great choice with both MD and DO options and one I also considered! Good luck!


No apology necessary - I just didn’t want the thread to get too far off track lol. I also agree that placing time and relationship restrictions on professional goals is not a good way to achieve those goals. We’ve always kind of figured we’d end up being separated while I went to med school and that given that fact we may not survive the distance and time apart, but his moving to Texas (if it happens) might actually improve my situation if I follow him both professionally and supportwise - which is the only reason I’m actually considering it. If it wasn’t going to improve things or actually restrict things professionally there’s no way I’d consider moving at this point. We’d just see what happened after med school.
And don’t worry, I’m not giving myself only one shot at getting into med school. It would be nice to get in on the first try of course, and I’d like to give myself the best shot at achieving that goal, but I can always do a masters in something first and then reapply. (Or retake the MCAT, or whatever the schools seem to think will be needed to get in when the time comes.)
Thanks for all the advice
–Jessica, UCCS

I sent you a PM about med school in CO.

I think that you will find Osteopathic Medical Schools rely not so much on your GPA or MCAT as they do as a future physician. The interview is extremely important. They are looking for mature, intelligent, and dedicated individuals, regardless of their age.
Osteopathic Medical Schools are not as interested in your knowledge of fine arts, high GPA’s, or IQ, as they are interested in a smart, dedicated person, willing to indure the sacrifice’s required to become a competent physician.
Take the time to check out a DO College of Medicine!

I will be applying to DO schools of course. I fully understand my best chances for acceptance will be through DO schools (not only for the less emphasis placed on stats, but also simply because only the last grade in each class will be counted in the stats), plus I like the DO philosophy as well.





That being said, there aren’t all that many DO schools in this area. There are none in Colorado (and only one MD school), one in TX (which won’t be easy to get into as an out-of-stater), one in Kansas (and KCOM is in a pretty isolated area which isn’t my first choice), one in Nevada, and one in AZ so if I am trying to stay somewhat near my friends and significant other my choices are pretty limited. At this point my first choices would be either TCOM or Touro-Nevada for DO school, and UCHSC, UTSA, or Southwestern for MD school (unless one of the schools with figure skating teams wants me to come skate for them of course ). Will I only apply to these schools? Of course not, but ideally I’ll end up somewhere nearby still.





–Jessica, UCCS

Jessica,
Regarding the TX academic fresh start - be sure to contact an admissions office & get the specifics. Matter of fact, I’d contact several admissions offices to ensure you get THE correct info. I checked the program out when I started at UTDallas in 96 and it is not so straight forward as dropping off a few years of shitty grades. There are specifics to qualify for the program - one of them being, if I correctly recall, a minimum time requirement since the last college-credit course you’ve taken. Again, to the best of my memory, only course over a certain age & 100% of the course over that age go away - YOU DO NOT GET TO PICK & CHOOSE which ones to drop.
Furthermore, ONLY Texas state-funded medical schools are required honor the program. No private schools or schools outside the TX state borders are required or are likely to honor the academic fresh start. So, it is not a “life is a bowl full of cherries” sort of thing.
On the topic of TX residency - ask those same folks as above & at several schools. For me, I think it was a minimum of 12 or 18 months working, paying taxes (no TX state income tax!) & ZERO courses for college credit during that period. Best not to learn too late.

Thanks for more info about fresh start Dave. Nothing that I had read talked about a minimum time requirement for the last college class you had taken. But I knew that it dropped everything from the time period you were talking about. (I really don’t have anything from that time period anyway lol). I also knew that it would only be helpful for TX state schools, but if the people I want to be close to are in TX then it would be a “bowl of cherries” so to speak anyway.
And yes you are correct that residency establishment in TX involves 12 months of continuous residence, 12 months of work, paying tax, and no college courses during those 12 months to qualify, although the schools do have agreements with certain companies such as JP Morgan and BankOne (off the top of my head) where you can qualify for instate tuition prior to having the full 12 months of residency. You just need a letter from the company saying that you moved in order to establish residency. (These are pretty much all companies that offer tuition reimbursement).
Believe me, if it comes to it I will be spending a few weeks visiting various schools down there, getting all the facts, before I make the commitment to moving down there.
–Jessica, UCCS