Who have you told about your aspirations?

Do you generally tell people about wanting to be a doctor? Or that you’re premed? So far, I’ve only told my husband - and he has been sooo supportive. I am worried about telling other people because (a) I might be perceived as a “bad mom” because I want to be a doctor, and everyone knows doctors don’t have a lot of family time, especially at the beginning (b) they might think I’m being unrealistic (although they know nothing of my credentials) © they might think I’m bragging and (d) it might be embarrassing if I don’t get into med school the first time around.

So as of right now, when people ask about school, I just say I’m a Psych major. But to me, this seems dishonest. I really feel caught in the middle! I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but it’s hard to reconcile what I want with what people see me as (a young mom of 2 who is probably going to stay home with them till they’re in school).

What are you telling people?

All four of your points have happened to me. However, I figure if people know then I MUST stick to my goals. It’s easy to back down when you only have your husband that knows. It’s amazing to find out who does believe in you. My coworkers are amazingly supportive. They know my work ethic and have gone through training with me. My family are mixed. I feel that I have gained a different respect with them as far as showing that I have a brain. Some friends are insecure, others are not. That being said, someday they will know. So, at some point you will have to actually start dropping hints and still deal with their opinions. I have no opinion on when you should/would tell people. Just be ready to be amazed by who “gets” you and who does not. (My personal experience is typed here, I do not feel that it is everyone’s experience)

PS. I am aged 32, three kids under 2.5 yoa, flight attendant and married.

I have told my husband and my mom about wanting to go to medical school. They are both very supportive (my mom is my number one fan.) I mentioned medical school to a couple of my co-workers and all I got was blank stares from them. I could tell they thought I was crazy, but who cares what they think!

I think it is very important to have support of your family, they will be the ones going through this journey with you. Not anyone else.

Never let others “opinions” influence your decisions. Sometime friends and co-workers get jealous, or wish they were following their dreams. I, like many of you have complete support from my family and that is what matters.

I’m not sure I’m ready to shout my aspirations from the rooftops. I’m doing this completely under the radar (for all of your reasons A,B,C,D, and a few more, studentsandy)

At one time, I toyed with the idea and people knew; close friends, family, parents etc… I never pursued it and walked away with my head hanging. Cut to now, I’m going for it again and the only people who know at this point is my friend in med school who lent me her old MCAT prep books (funny, I never actually told her, she just assumed thats what I was up to and offered to lend them to me), and my more distant friend whom I told because I felt the urge to blurt it out after a few cold ones. It just slipped.

Of course there are many others who have come up to me and said “hey so what ever happened with you wanting to go to med school?” And I do have a generic answer to questions like that

But yes, as Kimberly said, at some point people will find out. The further along I get, the more hints there will be. But I’ve actually gone so far as to hide my MCAT prep books under my bed while my mom was helping me pack so she wouldnt see them. That might be going overboard, yes, but in my personal experience, I have had a history of starting things and not finishing them so unless I’m ready to wear the clothes, I’m not going to hang my laundry in public anymore.

I told the wrong people apparently. I went to one of my old bosses at my current company and told her my plans so i could get a recommendation letter from her for my premed postbac. Little did I know she has a big mouth and now the entire company knows.

She wrote a great rec. letter though.

Jmathes, I was a flight attendant at one point in my adult life. Fun job, but I too felt like I needed to use my brain more! LoL.

Studentsandy. Onlu you can know who you are comfortable with telling. I, myself have only told a few people. My husband and 2 of my friends. I haven’t said anything to anyone at work. (I’m an RN, I would DEFINITELY get a lot of flack from my co-workers)I also haven’t told my extended family (ie parents) becasue they have always felt I should be a SAHM to my 2 children. I never have been, and I don’t plan on ever staying home full time with them. My husband is 100% supportive. 1 friend is supportive, the other friend said “Why don’t you just be a PA? Medical school? You’ll never see your children…and you have to tell people they are dying…” change the subject.

I will let the cat out of the bag when I get accepted. That will be the only time I tell people. But then, I tend to be a pretty private person. I also figure that the only opinion that REALLY matters to me is that of my husband and children, they will bear the brunt of my aspirations. Go with your gut, and tell or don’t tell, but be prepared to defend your “crazy” self ;0)

I just posted a response in another thread and I think it may add a different perspective to your question.

I think that it is important to tell your story—in fact, very important. The first person you tell definitely should not be your first interviewer! I think you asked your question just right, “who” do you tell.

But, before I get to that, why is important to tell your story. As a non-traditional app, your story should resonate in others (or at least in those that it is important to resonate in). It should be compelling and completely make sense. There should be no uncertainty in your motivation and sincerity. But, how do you to get to this point? For me, it took talking with others. It is easy to feel vulnerable when you are sharing a dream that you are not sure that you will achieve (after all, the final decision is not yours) and you tend to only share bits and pieces, almost as if it was a just a thought that popped into your head.

Trust me, take ownership of this dream. Speak as though you are a man/woman on a mission—you are! Hopefully, at some point, you are going to get the opportunity to present your story when it truly matters (e.g., family, pre-med counselor, recommendation referee, admissions counselor, interviewers, etc.) and you be able to convey all your passion, commitment, and drive in a easily communicable verbal transmission—else it will not be received.

Find others that are safe to share this with, you might be surprised at how they can help you make your story sing. Now, I’m not saying that you should come up with a line of BS—which you definitely should not—but you do really have to make a strong and mature presentation for yourself.

As for who should you tell, I would say those you trust (e.g., friends, family, mentors, etc.), those who need to trust you (e.g., pre-med counselors, recommendation referees, admissions counselors, interviewers, etc.), and, at time, those that are just willing to listen (e.g., stranger sitting next to you on the plane, readers at oldpremeds.com, etc.).

I came out of the premed closet during my second semester of prerequisits (about 2 1/2 years ago). I had all of the same fears of exposing my dreams to people as StudentSandy (and still do). For the most part I have had positive reactions and have found support in surprising places and people. So don’t be scared, the truth will set you free.

I’ve told a few people about my plans and some have been rather suportive, but my mom is catious. She thinks I am aiming to high and biting more than I can chew. So, I have support from my friends and even my Ward leadership, but my mom and step-dad haven’t quite turned around to the whole support me in my decision concept.

The first time I told anyone outside my immediate family was a local professor of psychology, perahps 4 or 5 years ago. She is doing great clinical work studying attachment theory in children, and it’s an extremely interesting topic. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to become an MD or PhD at that point.

The professor allowed me to set up an appointment to discuss her field with me. After three minutes of very small talk chatting about her facilities, when I told her I was considering medical school, she responded I was going through a midlife crisis and that I should just stick to what I was doing and help people that way.

I am still impressed with her omniscience. …No, seriously.