Ok, so I was having a little problem with my nutsticles. I was like, “Man, I’m carrying a heavy load.” I mean, I was unaware that I had teeth, nose, and skin, but I was aware that I had a really heavy right testicle. So, I go see my friendly neighborhood urologist because after I’d done some research, I found that I had all the symptoms of nugget cancer. I was pretty scared. So after waiting 3 hours to go into the exam room, the doc comes in. He doesn’t introduce himself. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a problem, except that this is a urology clinic and there are five docs practicing there. So, anyhoo, the doc comes in, nods vaguely at me and quickly scans my chart while sliding on gloves. He looks at me and says, “Drop 'em.” So, I shuck off my shorts, and he feels the merchandise. He grunts in what I fear is a sign of bad news. Other than this, he has been completely mute. He then says, “Prostate?” I’m unsure exacly what he’s asking, so I say, “Check.” I smile. His eyes tell me that he’s unamused. He says, “Turn around.” The next thing I know, I’m singing Old Man River while he gives me the finger wave. I go, “Ever served any time, doc?” Nothing. I don’t even get a chuckle. He snaps off his gloves, announces his conclusions, and says, “Don’t forget to pay on your way out.” I left thinking, “When I’m a doc, I’ll laugh at everyone’s jokes. And introduce myself.”
LMFAO (laughin my friggin a$$ off)…this can’t be real…can it 
P.S. Sorry about the heavy “nugget” and crying for you in regards to the cavity search 
Tell him you would if you knew what for. Ask him how much chemo therapy you will need since it is obvious he isn’t telling you a single thing and that by his lack of communication it doesn’t look good. Then tell him from now on he can give the news to your lawyer.
That ought to make him blab like a bad crack addicted informant. 
Holy cow, Ash. Please be sure to inform the health professional who recommended this clinic of your poor care. Regardless of what he told you, can you be confident in the diagnosis? I know I wouldn’t trust a thing he said. I wish I thought you were joking or exaggerating, but I am afraid I can believe it. (Insert the jaw-dropping smiley here.)
Mary
Ash,
I’ve been laughing for the last 10 minutes… I think my husband is STILL laughing…
they never seem to laugh at my jokes either… what’s up with that?
Oh well,
hope you’re feeling a little bit lighter…
Andrea
Oh, I believe it. I know that guy!! I needed a sonogram to R/O an etopic pregnacy and, well, substitute the exact senario w/ different parts… 
I guess he has changed specialties…
A woman I worked with had a bad, “I’m seeing a doc for a nether region problem” experience. The “business end” of the exam table was pointed towards the exam room door. The doctor (and I use that term loosely) left her during a pelvic exam to take a phone call… in the stirrups, exposed and LEFT THE DOOR OPEN!!