FSBO ...

Those of you who are (or were) homeowners probably know that stands for “For Sale By Owner.” Well, my husband and I would more likely use a real estate agent (we’re not that business savvy), but it looks like the house has to go sometime soon.


We realized this morning (or more accurately: finally were able to admit to ourselves) that we really can’t afford a mortgage that was calculated based on two incomes now that we’re down to one (his). Just isn’t working out so well.


Clearly, now is a horrible time to sell a house. I don’t even know if we could break even at this point. Or if we could sell it on this market. And we really don’t want to; we’ve invested a lot of time into the place and it really feels like home.


But if I want to go to school for the next zillion years rather than work and earn a salary … I don’t think we have a choice but to try. We’re kinda scraping along as it is right now, and it’s very stressful for both of us.


When my husband and I first embarked on this journey toward medical school, we talked about the possibility of having to sell the house. But everything was so hypothetical then, and selling the house didn’t seem like a reality.


Here is what I realize: It’s easy to talk about making sacrifices, but when it comes down to actually making them, it’s a bit harder, isn’t it?


I’m not asking for sympathy or anything, just needed to vent a bit.

When I left the Army to return to school for my post-bacc, we lost over 50% of our income. We moved into the upstairs apartment of an old Victorian house with the original windows and no AC (hot in the summer and cold in the winter). The rent was only $750 per month. We chose to live there because we were terrified about being “house poor” when going down to only one income. We even fretted about whether or not we could afford the stray cat we had brought in because we weren’t sure we could afford the $28 a month in food plus other expenses (we still have Baxter, by the way).


Looking back, we probably were overly conservative, but we did what we felt we needed to in order to put us into a comfortable financial position. That comfort zone varies by person and has many variables (debt load, kids, location).


Just some random thoughts, though it doesn’t make your situation any easier.

As you know from our private conversations, we’ve already done the very same thing. Our house is no longer our house as of August 7th. The talking about and doing are vastly different in difficulty. We’ve had in-house meltdowns at least three or four times as we contemplate moving out of a 4,500 square foot home into a 12’x9’ room at my wife’s parents.


Selling most of our larger furniture and electronics. Throwing out junk we thought we wanted to keep around but never touch. All are necessary.


What has helped us go from talk to do was constantly reminding ourselves of the reality that so far as we are certain, we have but one life to live on this planet. Our days shouldn’t be filled protecting the things that own us as much as we own them, but instead ensuring that when we are taking our last breaths, we know that we fully lived our lives and have memories and experiences that will find us at peace.


Things are easily replaced, and as large and dominant as they are in our lives, our houses are just a giant thing. The pieces that really make home “home” are the people around you. So long as they’re willing to go on this with you, and they’ll be there, you won’t feel as far away from home as it seems right now.


If you must sell to do this, and doing this is what you both believe is right for you, go for it. It is a rough market, and we lost a little money on the sale to get out from under it, but it’s still possible to sell. Took us six months.

My husband just got done buying a house in the DC area. He was SHOCKED at how people keep their homes (neatness, etc) when it is on the market. One thing you can do to help yourself in selling in a tough market is go through, de-clutter, get rid of things you think you need but never use, and make it look as much like a neutral model-home as you can. This makes it easier for potential buyers to see themselves living there as well as sends the message that you take good care of the house. HGTV has some good points when it comes to marketing a house.

Thanks, both TAChicago and tec, for your encouragement and comments on this subject. Of course, everyone’s situation is different, but hearing from people who have gone through similar situations is quite helpful as my husband and I contemplate selling our house.


This dynamic is exactly why I love OPM, so thanks again.


And TAChicago, I think you put your finger on it exactly with these words:

  • TAChicago Said:


What has helped us go from talk to do was constantly reminding ourselves of the reality that so far as we are certain, we have but one life to live on this planet. Our days shouldn't be filled protecting the things that own us as much as we own them, but instead ensuring that when we are taking our last breaths, we know that we fully lived our lives and have memories and experiences that will find us at peace.

Things are easily replaced, and as large and dominant as they are in our lives, our houses are just a giant thing. The pieces that really make home "home" are the people around you. So long as they're willing to go on this with you, and they'll be there, you won't feel as far away from home as it seems right now.

I really identify with your feelings, because I am there as well.


I went into this venture knowing in my heart that I would have to sell my house - I had no way to maintain the mortgage during medical school and residency, and didn’t want to rent it out with the possibility of unplanned home repair expenses (which I would have no resources to meet) and the house being worth less and needing more to be sellable at the end of the time.


So, during my glide year I fixed up what was needed, and my daughter and her roomate (who were renting it) have moved out, and my house is up for sale. Meanwhile all my things from the house are in the garage.


I’ve been spending weekends reducing the accumulated possessions of my life to what I am taking with me to school (very little), and what I am storing with my mom (also, very little). This has been unexpectedly hard. What I did do is have one small piece of furniture that was very nice wood refinished, and that will go with me. Somehow I feel better about what I gave to the thrift store or otherwise disposed of when I have this quality piece to take with me in my new life.


I tried to make similar decisions about books and posssessions - maybe take a representative thing to cherish.


So now, paying rent AND mortgage (on empty house) while it is on the market. Next month starts my rent on apt in WV, but my lease here runs one more month…so since house hasn’t sold, THAT month will be 2 rents and a mortgage. Ack! And moving expenses (got replanned to U-Haul).


Breathing, praying. I know I’m going where I’m meant to be - trusting that a way will be provided. (with occasional panic attacks, but I’m working on it!).


Kate

. Have you thought of renting it out while you’re gone? It would be a complete PITA, and being a (possibly absentee) landlord is not for everyone.


. But the possibility for those who pull it off would be potential (small) profit, having other people make your mort payments for you, saving the home, or at least saving the majority of what was invested.


. Disadvantages are non-payment, outright destructive and/or aggravating tenants causing drama at the wrong time. Even worse for absentee landlords. My parents hated the whole landlord thing so much they refused to ever rent to anyone ever again - including not even to me!!