Is this normal? I’ll be starting as a first year at an osteopathic school in August. I’m so worried about having time for my husband and son (will be 2 when I start). I’m kind of terrified to be honest.
I expect that it’s perfectly normal. I’m not there yet - I’m still dealing with the “I’m finishing my last prereq and my MCAT is in 2 months! This is getting even more real! Maybe I am crazy…” stage of it.
That said, I can’t imagine NOT having at least a short bout of FUD at the beginning of each new step. I think it means you’re entering this with your eyes wide open instead of jumping in headlong with no respect for the stresses it will place on you and your family. That said, you have time now to get patterns and habits in place that allow you maximum time to be with them now and to make things easier once you are in school. Don’t worry so much about the “what ifs” that you aren’t present with them at this stage. I’m a year and a half out (I hope), and am already starting to declutter (less “stuff” means less work cleaning then, right?), trying to figure out how to make things go more smoothly around the house, how to motivate kids to pitch in and do their parts, etc.
Good luck!
Annette
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO normal. You are on the verge of everything you’ve been dreaming about for oh-so-long, and that is scary in and of itself. Throw family into the mix, and it can make our hearts do all kinds of crazy tricks!
Think about it like having a 2nd child. You would worry, at first, about making time for your older son and husband once the new baby arrived. You would worry about feelings and whether they felt secure and loved. Because we’re moms…worry is in our DNA. =) But after a few weeks of sleepless nights, you’d quickly realize that everyone adjusts. Everyone finds a new ‘homeostasis.’ It becomes your new normal, and you’d wonder what you used to do with all your time when you only had one child.
I think your feelings are right on target. I’d think not worrying would be the weird response. But keep your communication lines open…find ways to stay as organized as possible, share your thoughts and concerns with your husband…and just give it some time.
Breathe… you guys are going to be fine! =) Enjoy these months leading up to school, and just walk it out together as a family! Your son will take his cues from you and your husband–so if you guys celebrate your journey, so will he!
I think FUD is perfectly normally at every step of the way. The important thing is to recognize it as FUD and have a way of dealing with it.
I’m not married so I didn’t have those anxieties before I started med school, but I had to move from Canada to the US and I had all sorts of weird dreams about being refused entry, losing all my belongings during the move. Then it was “the school made a mistake and I am not really qualified / ready to handle the load of medical school”. Then it was the first mid term, then the first standardized patient interview. It never ends. I am actually quite pleased with how well I have dealt with everything emotionally and psychologically. Unfortunately my body still reacts to exam stress in unfortunate ways, but there is medication for those symptoms.
I think Rich says it best when he says “Stop. Take a breath.” I usually end up having a bit of a chat with myself about whether my extrapolations are even rationale and what the worst is that could happen then decide if that is even likely to happen. For me - I did end up failing my first anatomy practical. Did the world end? Nope. I had help from my friends at school and the staff here and I did just fine on the remediation practical. Did it help me in the long run put things into perspective? Definitely.
You got this far. You’ll be fine. Just breath.
By the way, which school will you be attending?
Lynda
PS. If you have specific questions, feel free to send me a PM.
Thank you! I’ve always been a planner and worried about things several steps ahead. I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on what choosing a life as a physician really means to my family and even knowing that I won’t be around as much, I still know that this is my path. I’m not sure where I saw it but I saw the advice somewhere to “Do what you are” and it just always struck a cord because I feel like medicine is really who I am.
I really appreciate the advice. I’ll be starting at VCOM. My husband is a scientist and it was the one city where he wouldn’t have to put his career on hold while I go to school.
I think it’s great that you were able to get into a school in a town where your husband will be able to work. One of my friends here at school who has several small kids comes to class and studies till 6 pm, goes home for supper with spouse and kids in the evening, comes out to study a few hours and goes back for bedtime, consistantly .He’s also a cub scout leader. Seems to be making it work.
Kate
More than normal. With the looking for a new place to live and talking to current medical students, it’s enough to make you run inthe other direction.
Rule 1: Take a Breath
Rule 10: Beware of FUD
These rules will work for premed, medical, residency, MCAT, USMLE, and very much the first time you are in in charge of a cardiac arrest.