I’m taking the MCAT on June 13 and have been studying since January of this year. This is my application cycle and I hope to start medical school in 2015.
It has been a struggle juggling work, family, and various responsibilities. OPM knows what I mean. Today, after studying for most of the day, my wife came home with our 2 year old daughter; my little girl was babysat at my father in law’s house by my wife’s step mother. We’ve been trying this for about a week because my Mom flaked out on Tuesday after spending a few weeks with us watching our daughter while I study at the library during the day and work at night.
So, if the step-mother-in-law could watch our daughter for the next 2 weeks, I could finish preparing for the exam. But, my wife was so frustrated when her step mother said it’s a burden to watch our daughter (i.e. my father in law’s REAL granddaughter). Granted, my step-mother-in-law stays home and knits all day-that’s it. Our 2 year old occupies herself with her tablet, books, and toys while she’s there.
The kicker was when my father-in-law told my wife I shouldn’t be going back to school because it’s a waste of time. I need to find a job and support my family. In fact, everyone outside of my home (i.e. my wife and 4 kids) does not support my decision to pursue medicine. No one is willing to help us because they think I’m WASTING MY TIME! Outside of my wife and kids, OPM is the only reservoir of relief. I turned here to vent with peers; many here can relate, so here I am!
This evening, my wife took our older daughter to her swim meet (I’ve decided to sacrifice the next few meets until I can finish the MCAT) and I’ve been trying to study. Unfortunately, I’m depressed and frustrated at the lack of support from friends and extended family. Most times, I feel ashamed to tell people that I’m pursuing medicine. I feel like keeping it a secret because I hate the evil looks I get from people.
Moreover, I hate the patronizing fake responses; for example, “Oh, your going to med school? Great!”… Yeah, right. You can see their looks on their faces. You know when someone doesn’t MEAN what they are saying? That’s right, you know what I mean.
So, I decided to pray and hopefully restore the courage that I know will help me overcome the doubters. I know what I’m doing is the best decision for my family and I. Sometimes, I wish people could realize the work I’ve put in and understand my passion to pursue this journey.
It’s not easy applying to medical school as a 42 year old janitor.
Sisyphus (ok, already forgot how to spell it!).
I know it FEELS like rolling the rock up the hill and it continually rolling back down partway up. But really, it is only the emotions that go downhill. You have been consistently moving the ROCK uphill and soon you’ll hit that plateau where you see the ground in all directions from having reached medical school - And, of course, the second peak of med school to go thru!
Praying is a good idea 
REmembering to ask for help from many sources --at least that is ONE source that can be relied upon! Strength when you’re weary, courage when you are dis-couraged, help recalling what you’ve studied …
Blessings on your journey!
Kate
Just offering a group hug! <>
I just want you to know my mother was absent for most of my adolescence and I rarely saw my father. My father worked nights and would cook for me when he got home in the morning and before he left at night when he could. My mom worked two jobs and pursued two masters degrees. They both missed all my sports events, awards, life events and a lot of time with me. To this day I still am so thankful for what they did for my family and I. They inadvertently instilled independence and work ethic in me and my siblings. They always showed us so much love, even though it was rare, it was enough and exactly what we needed.
The most important thing was that I knew they were doing the things they did out of love. In your situation, your family may not see what you are sacrificing right now or why, but I truly think they will with time. I wish you the best of luck on MCAT and you are overcoming a lot of adversity, so I hope you remind yourself of how far you have already come.
My recommendation would be to show as much love as you can to those around you when you can, even when you feel unsupported and run down. If you have any one at church, school, or even work who can support you as a friend or as a babysitter (even if they are there with you while you study helping with the kids) I would take advantage of it. If you don’t, I would just keep reminding yourself you’re doing what you’re doing out of love. You can’t be the father or husband you need to be if you’re not happy as well.
Good Luck!
Sorry you’re going through all of this while preparing for the MCAT. I know it’s frustrating not to have everyone in your corner but their reactions aren’t your concern. You know you can do this and you’re putting in the time and effort you need to get it handled. It’s just a few weeks away from the MCAT and soon a huge amount of stress will be lifted.
On the childcare issue, can you see if a local college student wants to pick up babysitting hours? They should be wrapping up classes about now. It’s easy to blame your in-laws and mom, but not everyone is equipped to handle a 2-year-old, even a low-key one. Being angry at your in-law for how she spends her day isn’t all that different than your father-in-law judging you, and you’re just wasting energy dwelling on it.
Your town also might have a childcare co-op you could look into. And if you have any favors to call in with friends, now is the time.
Good luck with your studying!
Good Luck and stay encouraged. You can do it!
Well…no one needs to, nor is going to care about your dream more than you. It’s a precious thing and everyone else’s job is to tear it down…not believe in you…belittle you…make you doubt yourself… No one cares and no one is going to care, no one is going to appreciate what this means except those who have gone through or are going through it. It’s a fact of life. So get mad, get angry, and channel that anger into the books, into proving the idiots wrong.
As Ali said I’m a show you how great I am! Know this and know it well, a success has many fathers but a failure is an orphan. All the naysayers, all the doubters, all the ridiculers, ALL OF THEM will turn around when you’ve achieved your goal to provide for your family and theirs…ALL OF THEM will say he wouldn’t have made it there without my help…I told him to do it and that he could do it.
So pick your head up, get some sunlight, see yourself as the physician you will become and get back to studying…OR see these naysayers laughing hysterically at you and get mad, real mad and attack your studies with vigor. In the end what will get you to your goal is dogged determination to stay in that library and get the job done.
- Quote:
If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,
to work day and night for it, to give up your time, your peace
and sleep for it… if all that you dream and scheme is about it,
…and life seems useless and worthless without it… if you gladly
sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it and lose all your terrror
of the opposition for it…if you simply go after that thing that you
want with all your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith hope and confidence and stern pertinacity…
if neither cold, poverty, famine, nor gout, sickness nor pain, of body and brain, can keep you away from the thing that you want…
if dogged and grim you beseech and beset it, with the help of God, YOU WILL GET IT! – Les Brown
http://youtu.be/mgmVOuLgFB0
Get some!
- croooz Said:
GREAT post Crooz!
Just one correction, it's "imma" NOT "I'm a", comprende, ROTFL??????
- pathdr2b Said:
- croooz Said:
GREAT post Crooz!
Just one correction, it's "imma" NOT "I'm a", comprende, ROTFL??????
You keep petitioning for me to open this ole can of whoop a** on ya....
hehehehehe
- croooz Said:
heheheheheROTFL, don't make me "conjur" up my santeria practicing, ancestors, LOL!!!
I appreciate the encouragement. I realized after the heat of the moment the reality of the situation. Obviously, haters continue to flourish and consistently doubt those that are willing to take on great challenges. Regardless of the situation, many challenges are too difficult, but not impossible. My extended family do not realize the sacrifice my immediate family is willing to take.
Once I realized that I’m well prepared for the MCAT, my negative emotions subsided. I remembered that starting my MCAT studies in December 2013 was designed for this purpose (i.e. building in time to handle distractions and family obligations).
Therefore, I feel I am peaking at the perfect time. My scores are in the 30’s and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.
Thank you for the awesome support and wonderful stories! This forum is a great resource to collaborate and circumvent negativity.
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE IN ALL STAGES OF THIS JOURNEY! (sorry for the caps, I really do want to shout out to everyone).
You have the support of your immediate family so follow your dream
see this old thread: http://www.oldpremeds.org/fusionbb/showtopic.php?f…
like the idea of lil ole me going to med school is crazier than auditioning for America’a Got Talent or the voice when I don’t sing. (whose top twenty always tell stories that sound just like what you’ve written, btw…)
If you got your immediate family on board, you’re doing better than most.
Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. We trust airline pilots we don’t know, but we aint about to put our live in our hands by getting into a plane piloted by unlce phil or our wild friends - cuz we know they be crazy. And gawd no, we don’t take them serious. It should be the other way around, I guess.
Nothing in life that means anything is ever easy.
You are where you are in life by the choices you make or the ones you allow others to make for you.
You will stay the same until the pain of remaining the same forces you to change.
Those three quotes I have committed to memory. They are what I tell myself when those in my life get on my nerves with their basement talk. You should be proud that you are willing to work hard to make a better life for yourself, your wife, and your family. Ignore them, remind yourself that you can do this. Buckle down and kick some butt on that MCAT. The first person I told that I was going to go to medical school laughed at me in the middle of a restaurant. Not just a small chuckle, but the kind of laugh that carries across the room and causes others to laugh. I was mortified. But that laughter caused a fire to be lit inside of me. Do not let others control your future. They are not the ones who have to live it. You are!