I am at the beginning stages of researching the process of applying to med school as a non-trad student and recently stumbled on this website. What a terrific resource! While I have many concerns about the application process and student experience (more of which I will undoubtedly share at some point), the most pressing of my concerns - and the one that could very well be a dealbreaker in terms of going full-steam ahead with pursuing my dream at this point in time - has to do with the effect of a med school and post-med school schedule on my ability to spend time with my young children, who would be ages 3 and 5 by the time I would be able to begin med school.
By way of background, I am an attorney and had a demanding, Ivy League law school education so I’m not afraid of - even relish - hard work and long hours. However, I have gone part-time since having children because spending unhurried, uninterrupted chunks of time with them (not to mention my husband!) is a priority for me. And my concern is that the schedule of a med student/resident would simply be incompatible with spending any kind of quality time with my family.
So my questions are: If I am accepted into med school, what kind of hours should I expect in terms of attending classes and studying (both weekdays and weekends)? Are the hours somewhat predictable? Does the schedule get better or worse in the internship/residency years that follow med school?
I would prefer to start med school sooner rather than later given my age (currently 33, wouldn’t be able to start med school until age 36 at the earliest), but if I’ll already be “old” by the earliest date I’d be able to graduate, I’m wondering if it wouldn’t make sense to delay med school an additional few years - at least until both of my children are in grade school and I feel more comfortable leaving them for longer periods of time with caregivers.
Thanks in advance for any input - and comments from students with young children are especially appreciated!
I just re-read my post and want to make clear that I have researched various programs and have a basic understanding of the med school curriculum. I suppose what I am looking for here is a “from the trenches” perspective of the schedule/lifestyle of med school and subsequent training in order to get a better handle on whether a mom of young children like me can maintain that schedule/lifestyle without losing her sanity and having to rely on around-the-clock caregivers.
Great question! I just found this website too, I am right now 31 and have a 10 month old. I want to go to medical school, and i am tossed between should i have another baby or not? I cant really wait till after because i too wont get into medical school until maybe 34-35 and by the time medical school and residency i will be over 40. I dont want to wait that late to have another. I do have my mother, and step children who are 14,12,10 now that i know would be a great help to the babies while i study and go to classes. But I am interested in seeing the responses!
I am post-bacc myself, so I can’t answer your real question as to what med school is like, but I do have a little insight into premed with kids (mine are 12 & 5). I work full-time as an engineer and am taking one class this summer.
Here’s what I suggest. Keep working at your P/T law gig. Enroll in your first prereq, volunteer 4 hrs per week, and try to do a little job shadowing. See how much time you have with the kids and if it’s acceptable. It’s probably comparable to full-time med school without the job. This will give you a taste from your own perspective of how much family time you are willing to give up. I did this myself and ultimately decided it wasn’t worth it (medicine also just not my heart’s desire). On the flip side, I went through a grueling u/g degree with a baby, and that WAS worth it. Everyone has different priorities, values, and realities at home, so I think the best thing to do is see for yourself.
AJ
Another post bacc with children. Not in med school yet. I will say though the toughest part of school is needing to work to pay a babysitter and the non stop getting sick they seemed to do at daycare. I lost quite a bit of lecture time having to go back and forth to doctors. Our ped thinks it’s just that it was both my older son’s first year in kindy and my youngest’s first in day care and their bodies adjusting to the new flora around them. It wasn’t easy. My grades took a few shots as a result, but it’s a balancing game. Some days school is prioritized other days the children, and others the spouse. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.
Hi, Professor. I can’t speak from personal experience as I don’t have children, however I can tell you that several of my classmates in medical school have children and are quite successful. One woman, also a non-trad, had 2 young boys while finishing up her pre-med coursework and during the first two years of medical school and this past year as a third year med student had another beautiful baby, and I can assure you that she is one of the greatest moms I know! You can see how it pains her heart at times that she can’t spend the amount of time she’d like to with her children always, but she is determined that her family will be first and if that means she misses the top mark on a test because she needs to tend to one of her boy’s birthday parties, then so be it. If you would like, I’d be more than happy to talk with her to see if she’d be willing to talk with you about her experiences. Just drop me a private message on here.
- ProfessorG Said:
By way of background, I am an attorney and had a demanding, Ivy League law school education so I'm not afraid of - even relish - hard work and long hours. However, I have gone part-time since having children because spending unhurried, uninterrupted chunks of time with them (not to mention my husband!) is a priority for me. And my concern is that the schedule of a med student/resident would simply be incompatible with spending any kind of quality time with my family.
So my questions are: If I am accepted into med school, what kind of hours should I expect in terms of attending classes and studying (both weekdays and weekends)? Are the hours somewhat predictable? Does the schedule get better or worse in the internship/residency years that follow med school?
I would prefer to start med school sooner rather than later given my age (currently 33, wouldn't be able to start med school until age 36 at the earliest), but if I'll already be "old" by the earliest date I'd be able to graduate, I'm wondering if it wouldn't make sense to delay med school an additional few years - at least until both of my children are in grade school and I feel more comfortable leaving them for longer periods of time with caregivers.
Thanks in advance for any input - and comments from students with young children are especially appreciated!
First you need to take age out of the equation...Yes, it is on the minds of many on this forum, but there is nothing you can do about age and stopping time.
Medical school isn't going anywhere and it will be there whether you try in 3 years, 5 years or more. As you will see, there are a few that have started in their 40s and later.
My concern is with your little ones...they just grow so darn fast, and that time you can never get back.
For example, today is my nephew's (and the only child in my life) birthday, and he is 12...I moved to FL (away from him) when he was 3. Even though I've been able to see him once or twice a year...he's no longer a baby, not even a child but on the cusp of being a teenager and a young adult. (okay, a little sniff and tear!).
Enjoy your kids for a little longer, you'll regret that much more believe me.
Don't give up the dream of medicine, but don't lose out on the present of watching your children grow.
As a 3rd year medical student with 3 young children (8,5,3) I can tell you that going to medical school with young kids is not an easy prospect.
First of all, yes there are things that you are going to miss. However, ask yourself this: Would you have missed these events if you were working full time?
I have been treating my medical school career as a full time job. And just like a job I created a schedule that I duly keep. In my first 2 years I had classes all day every day. In my first year the hours were typically 9-5 and in my second year they were typically 8-3. I took this opportunity to drop my daughters off at school or at the bus stop and wait with them. At the bus stop, my eldest and I were able to chat and spent real quality time together. We would talk about her birthday party, her friends, what is going on, etc. My wife and I agreed that I would come right home from school so that we can enjoy dinner as a family.
Unless it was the week before exams, I would then do the bed time routine of baths, story, and tucking in. Once things calmed down I would then study again.
I would do my major studying from Sunday evening through Friday evening on Non exam weeks. That left the weekend for family time. Since we are Jewish we observe the Sabbath on Saturdays and this is pure family time. Saturday nights, I go out with my wife as long as I can get a sitter. Sunday mornings, my daughters like to play Diner where they are waitresses and I am the short order cook. Then we do a family outing and by the time we get back it is bed time for the girls and I study. During the week before exams, this all gets suspended. but the evening of the exam, there is no studying and I am with the family.
Now that I have entered my clinical years, I do not have as much book work that I have to do but I will be in the office or in the hospital. Again, treating it like a full time job. The only difference is that if I have the 11pm-7am shift I can see them before they go to bed and when they wake up. If you have to do overtime at work you make up for it later on. Same with the clinical years. If I have off on the weekend, then I do more quality stuff with my kids. It is all give and take.
If there is a family event, as long as it is not before an exam we will go. If I need to miss class for a special event at my daughter’s school, I do. In my school we record the lectures on a system that records everything that happens on the computer. I then download it to my ipod and take my notes as if I were in class.
The whole thing is a give and take schedule game just as if you were working full time. In end, I was able to go to 90% of all of the special events and be involved in my family’s life. you cannot study 24/7 because you will burn out and fast. The time away from the books with my kids and my wife are a good break.
In fact, my eldest is going to start accompanying me to the public library/coffee shop so that we can both do homework together. Another way to spend quality time.
Hard? Yes. Doable? Yes. Rewarding? No doubt.
Kuddos to you gabelerman for doing such a great Job at managing such major priorites in your life…
I will definatly use that as a model, when i am lucky enough to persue medical school, although i am a single parent of a 7yr old I am pretty confident that with planning, prioritizing, and time management i WILL be succesfull at both as well.
Gablerman is officially my new model for doing things with three in tow. By the time I get to med school, my youngest will be the same age as your youngest. My biggest problem is daycare costs. It gets a bit wallet consuming.
I am yet another post-bacc with children. I have three that are older (13, 17 and almost 19), one that’s 18 months, and another one on the way (due in December). I started my post-bacc work when my youngest was 9 months old. I breastfed exclusively so I started out with just 2 classes in the first quarter. I would come home in between classes to nurse her since she wasn’t transitioning to a bottle very well (my fault). It was so hard and exhausting! Still is, even though she’s older and weaned now. I’ve been keeping it up ok for now (even adding volunteering and research work into the mix), but honestly am worried about how things will be with 2 little ones once the baby is born. It definitely won’t be easy, but as Gabe has attested, it can obviously be done. What a fabulous role model he is!
- LC2Doc Said:
You guys are too kind. Daycare is added to your financial aid package increasing your cost of attendance to cover it.
For med school yes, but not for my post bacc. My private college consumes every last dime of my financial aid leaving little left to help with commuting costs.
However, I do wish to reiterate you really do have a wonderful sense of balancing it all and making sure the children get their time with you. How does time alone with your wife/SO factor into things? Is it harder to schedule that time in or do you have that worked into your schedule as well?
You all are very inspirational. I’m a mom of an 8-year-old, and I’m about to turn 33. I’m finishing up my undergrad work, looking to enter med school at 36. My partner and I are constantly struggling with the decision to expand our family, and we thought it was a foregone conclusion that we wouldn’t be able to. Reading this thread gives me hope that we can. Thanks!
Hi,
I have been lurking here for awhile, but my situation is somewhat similar to Professor G’s. I am a lawyer (full-time) and have been practicing for almost a decade, so I am little older 
Ugrad degree in biology, but for various reasons, I decided not to go on in science and instead went to law school, specializing in patent litigation.
I have two young children - 8 and 4, and both have significant special needs. Having my kids is what has actually what got me longing to go to medical school. In particular, taking care of my son made me realize that medicine was where I wanted to be. I didn’t go then because I wanted to work for another few years to try and save some money and until they grew bigger and more medically stable.
I have taken some post-bacc. courses already to bring myself current in biology and refresh myself on the science in general, and I find just doing that in connection with practicing law full- time is a major challenge. Like Professor G, I was “part-time” for awhile when my children were young because they needed so much medical attention, and I don’t know if Professor G’s “part-time” is like my “part-time” was, but I was still putting in 35-40 hour weeks at work then. When I went back full-time it went back to the typical 65-70.
I am not in medical school yet, and don’t know what Professor G’s situation is like now, but I think that although medical school will be long hours, they are much more predictable hours than working in the law, even if “part-time.”
- LC2Doc Said:
It is a little harder because in our for us to have our alone time, not only do I have to stop studying but either the kids have to be asleep or otherwise preoccupied. they are just about at the age the where they can understand when mommy and daddy's door is closed, please do not disturb. The 3 year old is the lone hold out.
As unromantic as it may seem, sometimes you have to schedule your intimate time with your SO. Otherwise, life will get in the way. Sometimes when I am ready, she is already asleep because it is after midnight or since she has been up since early and has been running around, she is dead tired and out cold by 9pm.
this is why it gets scheduled. I cannot guarantee 5-7X a week (but if you can do that AND study at the same time, please share) but you can fit it on. Although, it is one hell of a stress release come exam time.
Sometimes, it is not the intimate time together but just the fact that we have time together. Such as turning off the TV and putting in a nice CD while drinking some wine. Or sitting outside.
Every now and again, one of my classmates will ask to babysit my kids because THEY need a break from studying and want to do some arts and crafts. Hell, I tell them to come on over and we go out. And since we are living off of loans, we tend not to eat dinner our but eat dinner at home and go out for coffee and cake while listening to live music at a local coffee bar. Even a nice walk around our complex is time we spend together. And while the girls are at school, since I used to have lunch at 12, we would meet at Olive Garden or the Diner (since lunch is always cheaper than dinner).
There are ways around it. It just needs some creativity and thinking outside of the box.
- gabelerman Said:
Hope I'm not being too intrusive, but does your wife work outside the home at all? A stay-at-home spouse (which I would not have) would make a big difference since the med student would not have to juggle laundry, meals, cleaning, etc. (Of course, the tight budget of living strictly off loans can create a whole different kind of stress.)
- AliJ Said:
My wife works from home as a freelance proofreader. She worked as an Editor for LWW and when they closed the NYC offices she decided she would rather take a pay cut and work on her own terms.
Medical schools expect the spouse to work. The loans are to support the student, not the household.
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses -I appreciate it.
I have a follow-up question that relates generally to my questions about caring for young children while in med school.
When I was in law school, the economy was doing so well and there was such a demand for lawyers at big firms that one’s grades didn’t play a significant role in her ability to find a well-paying job in a big city. Of course, this had an overall positive impact on my law school experience because there was minimal external pressure to get straight As.
My question is whether the same is true of med school. Is it the case that the hardest part of med school is getting accepted? Or is there in fact significant pressure to get and maintain high grades once enrolled? I understand that some med schools use a pass/fail grading system - how does this affect academic performance pressure if at all? I ask because if there is serious grade pressure, I perhaps should delay enrollment until my children are a bit older and require less supervision and physical work.
Hi, Professor. In my opinion there is still the pressure. Grades will still influence which specialties you will be competitive for, and will also influence which tier of residency programs you will likely be ranked in once the residency match occurs. I attend a school that uses a modified pass-fail system and doesn’t directly rank students, however when they send out a letter for residency interviews the letter does indicate your percentile ranking in each of the classes you took. So although there’s not the direct grades, your relative ranking to others in the class is still shown. Interestingly, most of my classmates (myself included) did not know this until recently as we’re preparing for residency interviews–I imagine it would have changed the stress of the first two years if we had.